We swear we found this digitalia in Hartley, not Uris.


I love money.

I love spreading it all over my hardwood floors and walking barefoot on them, the dollar bills sticking to my feet. It makes me feel like a woman. No. Like a goddess.

I love frolicking through the meadows as my money blows from the east. It’s like I am an Indian princess and I like curry. Wait no. Except not.

I love- I love- I love money. Are you listening?!!!?!?!?! HELOO HELPPPP JELOPOO

I love business. I love the crisp sensual texture of a hard-earned dollar bill. Just writing about it makes me shiver. Brrrrrr! Oh here come the butterflies!!!!!!!! YAY!! BUTTERFLIES!!! OMG!!!! YEAH?!?! WHAT MOTHERFUCKER?!?!? I’LL KICK YOU. God told me to.

Upon reviewing these three facets of my personality I came to the individual consensus that it would be most opportune if I focused myself into the entrepreneurial industry.

It is not a math equation where there is only one solution to the problem. It is not a derivative of a curve. We are not curves but PEOPLE.

God told me.

A giant boat.

Allow my ambition to roam your campus and eat the grass of your dining halls.