An anonymous tipster reports an equally anonymous Columbia student who is using Facebook profiles to find girls’ screen names. Once he finds an appropriate screen name, the aforementioned student logs on under a false screen name—OneSweeetgurlie—and pretends to be a dear friend from home, all in an attempt to get a picture. Transcript of an actual conversation after the jump.

OneSweeetgurlie: omg how are you?
———-: i’m great how are you?
OneSweeetgurlie: i miss u
OneSweeetgurlie: im so miserable
OneSweeetgurlie: school =(
OneSweeetgurlie: i been IMin, textin, emaling, callin everyone i kno
OneSweeetgurlie: EVERYONE i could think up of
OneSweeetgurlie: i wish i could call u but i been callin so many
people for help and now my cell is dead and no charger to be found
OneSweeetgurlie: today is the deadline to submit my photogrpahy proj
to make up an incomplete from last semester
OneSweeetgurlie: its due in 3 hrs
OneSweeetgurlie: i thought it was due next month
OneSweeetgurlie: i emailed my prof and she like she cant do anything
but i need it in her email asap
OneSweeetgurlie: even worse! im goin to lose a $2000 scholarship if i
fail the class because my gpa will drop below 3.0
OneSweeetgurlie: im cryin and sooo stresseddd
OneSweeetgurlie: omg do you by any chance have a digital camear?

Clearly, OneSweeetgurlie is not in the Business School.