Harlem residents protest, fight to keep homes; students feel momentary sense of guilt en route to purchase Frappachino.

You just HAD to make sure that your campus protest was more dramatic than ours, didn’t you, NYU?

Sixteen people vie for thirteen seats on ABC Executive Board; three people poised to feel really, really, bad about selves.

Political Science Department dyes hair blonde, joins cheerleading team, announces that American Studies Department will have to find new lunch table, friends.

Actual byline: Fernanda Diaz, April 28, 2009.

Bonus: After MEALAC Department, Bari Weiss and Jen Spyra take on Miriam Datskovsky as next worthy foe.