jakeIn Move of Solidarity with Students, CU Facilities Employees Pretend to Do Work Without Actually Doing It

Administration Refuses to Pull All-Nighter, Grants Itself Extension on Decision-Making Paper

I Know!  We’ll Do a Big Performance Art Piece to Protest!  Then You—Yeah, You, the Up and Coming Filmmaker—Can Tape It and Sell the Footage for TV!  And Our Rich Ex-Friend Who Owns the Building Will Totally Back Down and Let Us Live Here, for Like, Nothing!  Then We’ll be Rich, AND Have a Place to Live, and it Won’t Matter if One or Two of Us Dies at the End, Because This Thing is Totally Going to Launch Our Careers!  Yeah!  Right Guys?  Right? Guys? … Why Am I the Only One Singing?

Jake Olson Has a Gambling Problem