pieWe rocked so hard, I thought we’d be together forever. And then you came back from Bulgaria with him. So I followed you home. And shouted expletives at your window all night long, and kept strands of your hair in a little box on my nightstand. I didn’t see the harrassment charges coming.

From now on: What? You don’t know who directed Angels in the Outfield! Get out of my sight. And don’t forget to go out the back door, or you’ll emerge from this place coated in Vaseline!

Woman! Get in the Kitchen and Bake Me Some Pie! 

Woman! Get in the Kitchen and Bake Me Some Pie! Again.