Is Barnard sophomore secretly a Baby Boomer sent into the future from 1968 to guilt us for our self-awareness?

Is keeping Lehman Library open 24/7 a wonderful idea that’s simply a fiscal impossibility unable to be rectified by an op-ed? 

Is a barbaric Thanksgiving in which diners hunt their own food and fend for themselves antithetical to the holiday spirit?

Did the pressure of taking itself so seriously finally cause The Eye to implode and subsequently unleash its content across cyberspace, eventually resulting in this article’s publication in the Bulletin?

Seriously?