For the record, here’s how wise Columbia seniors responded this week when asked which they would rather give up, oral sex or cheese:

“It depends–giving cheese or receiving cheese?”

“Well, given my current diet, if I gave up cheese I’d probably starve to death, and therefore lose both…”

“Let me put it this way: Westside Market offers free samples of only one of these things.”

“In the dictionary, the word ‘turophile’ has my picture next to it. I vacuum-clean all the cheese at formal events. I hope this answers it.”

“You’re asking the Careless Cook? Oral sex, duh.”

“Is the cheese in the form of cheese curds from Wisconsin? Please clarify.”

Oral sex fans, don’t give up. There’s one senior on your side: “Cheese.”