LitHum Study Guide: Helpin’ Out the 12s
Bwog remembers its very first final exam as a first-year. As a service to our youngest readers, Bwog staff and friends have compiled summaries of Lit Hum books…in limerick form! Stay tuned for tomorrow’s very special CC study guide.
The Iliad
Achilles, the raging Achaean,
Agamemnon’s war plans was derailin’.
For the city of Troy,
And for Helen, a ploy
With a horse was the Greek soldiers’ way in.
The Odyssey
After Troy, brave Odysseus wandered,
Adventured and tarried and pondered,
Saw Calypso and Cyclops
‘Pon Ionian outcrops,
Thence home ere Pen’s honor was squandered!
The Histories
Father of history, Herodotus
Wrote of wars, and lies and lust:
“Gyges ruled,
Scythians were cruel,
But remembering human achievement’s a must.”
Medea
Jason was not a good guy.
To Medea he had said goodbye.
So you know what she did?
She killed all her kids
And then she flew off in the sky.
Lysistrata
Of war all Greek women had tired,
So together they met and conspired.
They knew what men wanted,
So their husbands they taunted:
“For sex, complete peace is required.”
Symposium
Some hung-over Greeks had doubt
Over what love was all about
Was virtue correct?
Or trading wisdom for sex?
But “Forms!” was Socrates’ cop-out.
Old Testament (Two verses for the price of one!)
When God said “let there be light”
He showcased all of his might.
He plagued Pharaoh with flies,
Made the Red Sea dry
And then gave Job quite a fright
Job and job are capitonymic words
Like Polish and polish, or Herb and herb
And though this doesn’t have much to do
With the story of that unfortunate Jew
It does make the story a little absurd
New Testament
So God was feeling frisky,
decided to be a bit risky.
Got in bed with Mary
of course he did not tarry!
You know the rest of the story.
Tags: "study guides", lit hum, The Terrible 12s
10 December 2008 @ 12:28 PM · 23 comments
silence must give pause
to this peace we must all give our awes
not sure how much studying this will cause
but please, all, show them our applause.
-to homer (one man or a group of men? hrmmmm)
The meter in these poems totally sucks.
Also, the last line of every limerick needs to be “and if my ear was a cunt, i would fuck it.”
creepy.
youre referencing what i think youre referencing
I agree. Bwog, limericks are written with anapests. Maybe if you spent less time hating the humanities, you’d learn how to be more effectively comic.
I know the economy has hit you guys hard, but seriously, are you guys so bored that you spend the day browsing bwog. I have an excuse… it’s finals season!
Yeah I seriously can’t see the alumni title without going “woah…sad”. You’ve presumably graduated from an ivy league college. Now I know you’re not a multi-millionaire or executive but shouldn’t you…yknow…have a life?
Or are we supposed to be impressed with you that you spent so much money on your undergrad education to…bitch about freshman exam poetry on a blog? (I mean really)
don’t act like you won’t be reading bwog when you graduate…
… is what i call a good use of time spent procrastinating…
kudos bwog.
really, thanks :)
.. was really cute actually haha
can the CC study guide actually be legit because i have not done any of the readings all semester because i’ve been on bwog and could really use it!!!
k thanks!
they were giving away one page each of a cc study guide. Bwog should arrange some sort of exchange where people scan in and send their page so everyone gets a complete one.
i second that!
The Trojan Horse is not in the Iliad, bwog! It’s described at the beginning of the aeneid. Are you trying to gtet us 2 fail?
don’t tell anyone. it’s good for the curve.
Is anyone else having trouble with Cubmail? There’s nothing in my inbox, or any other folder…
This is awesome bwog.
when was this!?!?!?!
And who was giving these things out?
It was a while ago. CC’11 student council I think
Job wasn’t a Jew, Bwog! He was from Uz! Come on!
BWOG = BIBLE NOOBZ