As traditional good old-fashioned print media declines, we face another tragedy� wait, you mean Steve Jobs is alive?

Before you advise your parents to sell their Apple stock, go to class and hear about how bad the economy is already.

Then thank your lucky stars that, though you�ll enter the job market earlier, you won�t have to suffer through �Frontiers of Humanities� with the class of �13.

The end – no more profs saying the darndest things! Now they email them instead.