Using sex references and bad words: an original spin on poetry, haikus, and The Odyssey.
Drugs WILL make the sun come out.
Of course you can spend no money, look like a fool, and still get girls to do you.
You will never sleep with Snow White. Unless you have a tail.
Hey! Bwog is offended. We are definitely more pretentious than the Varsity Show.
But less pretentious than humor of the gilded age.
Tags: quickfed
4 March 2009 @ 3:50 PM · 16 comments
I lost some matte green Ray-Ban sunglasses during the last night of Senior Week revelry outside EC. If anyone finds them, take pity because they were the only thing that fools people into thinking that I’m cool. One delicious burrito dinner reward for their safe return. Email tips@bwog.com if you know anything.
Name: Emily Selinger, lost 5/10 somewhere at Senior Ball, gaslight, or 1020. ess2168@columbia.edu
Found in one of the couches in the Wallach Sky Lounge. Returned to Hartley Hospitality Desk.
Dark blue-green plaid Old Navy jacket and green scarf. Misplaced in EC on April 30. If found, please email abc2160@columbia.edu. Thank you!
PointMobl Black Retractable Micro USB AC Phone Charger. Lost it in Hartley lounge. E-mail: nnamdi.nwaezeapu@gmail.com
Lost a Black High Sierra backpack containing a white binder and a red pencil bag in Ferris Booth Dining Hall on Wednesday, April 25th, around 7:30 to 8pm. It was left on a chair in the second floor in a table around the middle of the room close to the staircase. If spotted someone taking it or found, please call immediately at 208-964-6780 or email rm2999@columbia.edu
Light blue, hardcover. Beginning Level. Lost last Tuesday in the Barnard 2nd floor women’s bathroom.
If found, please contact jac2295@columbia.edu
Lost a Blackberry Bold from Verizon Wireless at ADP on Saturday night. If found please email rsf2121@columbia.edu or call 601-994-3697. There will be a $$ reward!!
These were lost potentially on philosophy lawn on the evening of April 17th. The earrings are large silver flower cutouts and the mood ring is a blue band with small flowers inset. Both are old with a lot of sentimental value attached. Would greatly appreciate their return if found. Please contact on2139@columbia.edu/
646-496-3613, will reward with home baked goods and eternal gratitude.
Droid II Phone without any particular markings. Possibly left at the street fair or in Math. Contact cw2453.
that wasn’t even kind of funny.
Like really really not funny
can you be more specific with your criticism? inaccurate description of the gilded age? offensive content in regards to the marching band?
cause I read through the paper and I laughed out loud a number of times.
That’s a success for a comedy paper, in my book.
bravo sir/madam! laughter = success in the comedy world.
you’re right i was being kind of a jerk – i could have articulated my discontent better
when i’m done with this horrible week i will try to list some constructive criticism
of this campus thinks that the fed sucks.
the other 5% works for the fed/ is affiliated with a member of its staff.
i’m a senior, and i know that the fed’s always had a bad rep. Not only has it garnered a reputation for being racist (and rightly so), but it’s pretentious and chock full of terrible writing. Perhaps most importantly, it is also NOT FUNNY. Read the jester or blue and white for true entertainment.
I think “pretentious” describes *every* single publication on campus.
And 5% of 7418 undergraduates is 370 (rounded down, of course). Which is a pretty impressive number.
Stats at http://www.columbia.edu/cu/opir/abstract/enrollment%20headcount%20by%20school%2097-08.htm
forgot about the barnard count. But you get my point anyway.
I don’t usually laugh when I read satire, but I thought this was pretty damn funny. Bravo Fed.
of people voted for George Bush in 2000.
Awkwardly sexually active is pretty accurate.
But I guess that applies to everyone at this school.
Lay off the Fed kids about the racist thing. You and I were in high school during that controversy, and everyone who was involved with the Fed in 2004 has either graduated or died by now. It’s tough enough being a horny JTS kid without unwarranted accusations of racism.
Oh Jon Jager, I love you.
Me too, but I’m not him.
The only two JTS/CUMB people were studying Talmud when the above was written.
As someone who is not a feddie or affiliated with a feddie, I definitely have to give a big “fuck you” to 95%. Sure the Fed may have had a “bad rep” but give congratulations where it is deserved. They have completely turned themselves around in the past couple of years. They’re getting funnier each issue (though I liked Feb’s issue better than this one, sorry guys) and people are actually enjoying them. I see people reading the Fed in Furnald lounge all the time (or at least for a few days around when it comes out).
Cut the guys some slack. They’re doing excellently. Hats off to you gentlemen (and women).
I agree. I clicked, I read, I laughed. Good job.