Claim to Fame: President of Columbia Women’s Business Society, possessor of an alter-ego with her own name, and known to many as “that girl that’s in Theta, but not.”
Where are you going? Austin, TX to sail for Columbia at college sailing nationals, Southeast Asia for a month of backpacking, then back to NYC to begin my completely original, not-at-all-sellout, two-year analyst stint at JPMorgan. Hopefully by then I can convince myself that it’s still possible to have fun after college.
Three things you learned at Columbia:
- Club sports saves lives.
- Avoiding Butler like the plague during midterms and finals can make you a much, much saner person. There is nothing wrong with going to a library that has more open seats, fewer people having panic attacks, and closes, thereby forcing you to go to sleep.
- Don’t be afraid to take huge leaps of faith when making life-changing decisions. I decided to transfer to Barnard from the University of Wisconsin in a week. I couldn’t have picked a more drastically different school or a worse time to transfer and I risked multiple relationships by making the switch, but my life has been unquestionably better because of it.
“Back in my day…” The Diana was brand new and exclusively called the Vag, the Heights was always fun, and Mike Wetherbee was the most important man on campus.
Justify your existence in 30 words or less: I’m probably the only person who thinks Columbia is more fun than a Big 10 party school. Also, I started my admissions essay with the quote, “EAT SHIT! FUCK YOU!”
Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? From my experience, it doesn’t even seem like the administration is fighting the war anymore, but there are definitely students on either side. If the party next door is too loud at 11:30pm on a Friday night, don’t complain. That is your signal to call your friends and go out. Or better yet, invite yourself over. Your neighbors sound fun.
If there is a war, my best victory tale comes from off-campus. A long story ends with me, very drunk, talking to the NYPD at 4am and them spotting my fake ID from my wallet. Realizing I had no way out, I handed it over and told them it was a good idea if they just took it from me because I didn’t ever want to drink again. After asking a few questions, they laughed and handed it back to me saying, “Don’t let us find you with this again.” I also befriended another NYPD officer during a raid at Campo while still underage. He gave me and my friend some safety lessons and took pictures with us at the bar.
Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Life without either seems pretty bleak, but I can obtain the absolute best quality cheese, at any hour of the day, whenever the mood strikes. The same cannot be said for oral sex. For now, I’m sticking with the cheese.
Advice for the class of 2016:
- Don’t buy into the culture of competing for who is the most studious, miserable or sleep-deprived. It will be almost impossible to avoid, but you’ll be a happier person for it. Plus, no one really cares how many hours you spent in the library and talking about how much you study does not make you a more knowledgeable or interesting person.
- Overextend yourself. That one semester when you are on multiple club executive boards, have two part-time internships, five classes and a club sport will absolutely drive you crazy but it will be so worth it. Not only will you find out what your limit is, but you will accomplish more than you ever thought possible while taking advantage of all the things you came here for. And you’ll probably get your highest semester GPA too.
- Make a friend in every school. Accept the fact that Columbia is a diverse community and let go of any stereotypes or prejudices you may have. You can learn so much from all the different students who share this campus – don’t let that opportunity go to waste.
- If you hit a rut, join a new club and commit yourself to it for some time. Getting involved in something new is the best way to turn your time around at Columbia.
- If it ever bothers you that Columbia is not a “traditional” college in any sense of the word, choose instead to celebrate its quirks and oddities and it will be impossible not to love going to school here.
Any regrets? Never having a marg with Anna, not making time to do all of my readings, and ever skipping sailing practice. Other than that, none at all. These have absolutely been the best years of my life and I am unbelievably sad to be leaving.