Bwog politicos Maren Killackey, Kyra Bloom, and Zach Collazzo are live at the the contentious CCSC 2016 debate.
Update: The debate has ended. Here’s a transcript of the coverage:
Hey guys, this is Zac and Kyra coming to you live from the Satow Room
The room is full of nervous, excited freshmen in various levels of dress-up clothing.
Spotted: boy in bow tie and suspenders…with a purple color scheme.
The Movement has flashed their “M” sign about 37 times in these first few moments
Pizza is being served. I get the feeling that we’re actually at a low budget wedding reception.
A hush has fallen over the room. Rules for voting and guidelines regarding the debate are being explained.
And here we go.
The Pride is first up, introducing themselves as offering a “conversation” with the student body.
Pride member says she would like to work and understand Columbia Bureaucracy. Little does she know…
Columbia Tuition is Too Damn High Party up next. They have someone with a British accent. This is going to be a tough vote.
Tuition Party says it isn’t afraid to take on the administration. May the odds be ever in your favor
Comment From CC 14
What are the various levels of attire?
In regard to your question, I’ve never seen so many boat shoes in my life…
Pro-tip: If you have a foreign name, say it slower.
Now we have the Corps. Attempt to one-up the Pride by offering a “relationship” with the student body. CONSENT 101!!!
The Movement begins their introduction with a respectable Obama impersonation.
Link to their music video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNoRVyRJPkw
The Classless Party begins by allowing its leader to discuss his passion for education–and flaunting a bit of his high school resume. His beard gives him a strong air of authority.
Classless party introductions: all about the self-love. Tally marks on “the amazing people next to me” = 7.
Charles Sanky is our first independent representative introducing himself. Quotes George Bernard Shaw.
We transition to the Luxe Party. Emphasizes smaller changes (dismisses large-scale plans as impractical) and having fun, as well as Hawaiian shirts apparently.
Luxe party: Hawaiian shirt boy used ‘aight’ in his speech.
Daniel Liss(?), second independent representative, up now, running underneath the Puppy Party. Promises to bring puppies to campus.
First question: What is the most significant problem that freshmen face?
Quote of the night (…so far): “Have you seen puppies? Puppies are friggin’ cute.” – Daniel Liss. Can we make this man President?
Charles Sanky: “We don’t know where to go, necessarily…the biggest problem is finding out where to go when we have problems.”
The Pride: “We need one place where we can localize all of our various resources”
The Pride says they’ll give us information that we’ll “really, really need” for our everyday life. Are they trying to put Bwog out of business?
Daniel Liss: “Lack of puppies”
“We need more fun, disorienting, but really just cool events” I like this kid.
He’s definitely proposing drug usage.
Luxe directly attacks Puppy Party! Asks about the logistics of puppy-housing and clean-up
Liss: “We don’t need puppies throughout the year, just intermittently”
Luxe Party responds to initial question: “Well, the package center is hell on earth.” Proposes hiring students to relieve the long lines.
Also wants implement a “chill sesh” as a means of relieving stress. Hawaiian shirt just used the term “bro-out.”
Ladies and gentlemen, Jeff Spicoli for 2016 Class Rep.
The Movement: Obama Boy wants to increase Freshman unity. He has great skin.
Proposes inter-dorm relations….if you know what I mean ;)
Just kidding. But not really.
Ball So Hard: “A Columbia student should never have to feel lonely in the city!” Stresses unity.
Tuition Party: “The most difficult party of being a student is registration.” Seeks to streamline SSOL, the creation of a wait list.
Completely ignores the issue of tuition.
In response to question — about 45 students watching? Plus what appears to be the Junior Class Council in the back corner.
Classless Party: “Just because we’re freshmen doesn’t mean that we should be at the bottom of class registration.” Proposes the creation of quotas in classes.
The Corps: Wants to bring the entire class together with the creation of freshmen-bonding events.
Next question: How do you see your party contributing to the Student Wellness Project?
Comment From Guest
what is Puppy Party’s stance on spaying and neutering?
Waiting eagerly for this to be addressed.
According to a moderator, SWP is a comprehensive look at student health holistically, concerning how we can ensure the well-being of the student body.
Classless Party: “I think it’s crazy that we are forced by the University into a freshman dining plan that boils down to $12 a meal”
“Money for the University is NOT what matters”
Awaiting commentary by PrezBo
Spicoli offers support, “Word up, bro. Word up.”
The Corps: Offers “real” stats that say meals are really only $7-9 each.
Debate over meal cost due to “difference of math.”
Classless Party responding to The Corps’ claim
Classless Party saying that’s irrelevant. We should simply have the option whether or not to have a dining plan at all.
Our friend Charles Sanky discusses the difficulty of ‘learning to do laundry’. Then refers to laundry as “coming out of left field”.
Ball So Hard: “We want to promote the communication of information regarding wellness resources on campus (specifically references Alice).”
Tuition Party: Proposes “Sports with the Student Council,” emphasizes issue of exercise on campus
Overheard: “Imma text them at weird hours of the night…”
That is, in response to Tuition Party’s offer to go running with students.
The Pride: Communication of the resources already available on campus rather than the creation of new ones
The Corps: “We would like to incorporate a nutritional program as part of our student council”
Daniel Liss: “Our hands need puppies….they will improve wellness”
The Movement: Emphasizes availability of nutritional information on campus and the creation of a House Olympics (think high school Field Day)
The Pride asks whether or not these “Olympics” will be mandatory. In short, no.
The Luxe: Want to bring alumni back to campus as a resource all their own.
Audience to Charles Sanky: How could you make laundry less stressful?
Sanky: Hospitality desk along with the custodial staff could help. Though he says he’s not advocating for them to clean up for us. ?
Audience: After NSOP, there is very little done to get students accustomed to city life. (Something about the Columbia Bubble.) What do you propose to do to alleviate these problems?
The Corps: Creation of a program dubbed “StudentLink.” Seems to be another localization of resources.
Spicoli (dude in Hawaiian shirt): tells another candidate to “do you”.
The Pride: There are plenty of free things to do off-campus. Propose the creation of bi-weekly trips to take advantage of all that New York has to offer.
Audience: Going to meals, I have a hard time finding someone to eat with. Any suggestions on how to alleviate this problem?
Classless representative offers individual his number.
Elicits major “awwwwwww” from rest of audience.
Should we be anticipating a Clinton-esque scandal?
Classless: “We should initiate a poll of students regarding when they eat on campus”
Charles Sanky: “My recommendation is the same as everyone else’s here, let’s build a community together.”
The Corps: “You can call us anytime 24/7. We’ll pick up the phone. But in all seriousness, a good way to fix this problem is to hold biweekly freshman events in order to build relationships”
Luxe party (Spicoli/Hawaiian shirt) invites the questioner to dinner right after this. He also says “aight” again.
Ball So Hard: Creation of signs on each table that will essentially function as an invitation for individuals to eat at any particular table.
BWOG QUESTION: For the Tuition party, what do you propose to do about the tuition?
Alex Jasiulek: “No more rebuttals. We want to go home.”
Response: “We can’t change the tuition. We simply want to figure out why it is so high and possibly reallocate certain funds to different areas”
Daniel Liss: “Puppies don’t do small talk. Puppies will love you unconditionally. I’m hosting a puppy-petting station after the debate. Puppies will be available to friend you, to love you.” Puppy-petting presumably refers to the strange-looking stuffed animal he keeps adjusting under his arm.
Question: Can you suggest a way to find space in Butler?
Question: How can we make the package center better?
Question (to the Corps solely): Many of your policies seem redundant since many activities already exist with the RHLO program. Basically, what are the differences?
Movement: Proposes idea of a Librar Occupancy Tracker. Or something.
Question (to the Tuition Party): Some of your initiatives, such as registration, seem unnecessary now that we’ve already gone through it. What else do you plan on doing?
Sanky: More resources as to which libraries are open. Institution of a tracking system for packages (which already exists) or hiring more people to work there.
Luxe Party: “Butler is a bad idea…try other libraries”
“As stated earlier, we are looking into hiring work-studies for the package center.” Also want to investigate the efficiency of the kiosks.
Tuition Party: “A library occupancy tracker.”
“Our issues are still relevant as we will be registering in the future, and doing laundry, and eating in the dining halls, etc..”
The Pride: “The kiosk system is a nuisance; there will be a few problems here and there. Sometimes it says the package isn’t there when it is. All packages should be registered immediately when they come in. We want to put a kiosk on the 4th floor as well, in case you forget to register on the first floor.” They also propose splitting package center into sections organized by last name.
The Corps: “There are other libraries that you are welcome to use. You can also go to lounges in different dorms.”
“In regards to our events overlapping with those already available, we want to work with them in order to create freshmen only events as well.”
“We are the freshmen student council. We don’t have the power necessarily to speed up the package center”
Daniel Liss: “For once, the answer is not puppies. There are lots of little nooks I enjoy studying in. One of my favorite places to study is the tenth floor of Fairchild.” He says going to package center at a different time of day, not right after class, is generally easier and the lines are shorter.
Ball So Hard: “If a party can develop a website that can accurately track library occupancy, we will drop out of the race and vote for you.”
“That is something we will not promise you because we cannot deliver it”
Classless Party: “No one else will be able to shape the campus for those that aren’t here yet. That is our power.”
“We would also like to advocate the video-taping of introductory level courses to allow our education to the rest of the world”
Video taping intro-level courses means we don’t have to go to class…
Well that about wraps it up.
Currently being accosted by Puppy Party. It’s a puppy puppet. what
Best Dressed: The Movement
Best Bro: Spicoli (Hawaiian Shirt)
Most Humorous: Daniel Liss
Most Irrelevant Party Name: The Tuition is Too Damn High
Most likely to resemble Liz Lemon’s Manager: Charles Sanky
Best Beard: Classless
Most Wild Gesticulations: The Pride
Most Derivative of Jay-Z: Ball So Hard
Most Likely to be Misspelled: The Corps
Polls open tomorrow at 9AM. You should receive an email with all the information necessary soon. Happy voting and good luck to all the candidates! This is Zac, Kyra, and Maren signing off.