I have to commend you for a couple of things. You saw what you wanted and you went for it. You didn’t give a shit about what other people think about you, and you’re not scared of making an ass of yourself for what you want. And you’re a risk taker, which I really respect. And you’re not afraid of rejection or getting hurt. These are leadership qualities.

The only problem with your entire situation is your game. It’s like a game of Texas Holdem. If you’ve got a Royal Flush in the first round, what do you do, do you put all your chips in on the first bet? No, that’s just going to scare everyone away. You coax them into it. You give your opponent reason to believe that they could win, and then you bet big in the last round.

You went all-in in the first round. Doing what you did is just too intense for most people, especially college students. They don’t know how to manage it, and frankly you probably didn’t know how to manage yourself with the finesse you needed.

Next time, enjoy the conversation, and leave. Doing things the way you did might work a little better in the real world, where you don’t know if you’re going to meet the person again in the future. She might be able to manage you a bit better, let your down easy if she’s not interested, block against anything you throw at her that she doesn’t like. You’d also probably know when to be aggressive, what gestures are appropriate and attractive, what emotions you choose to commoditize and hand over to her, and when you should hand them over. But when you’re in college, take your time man. Unless you’ve got about 2 months left of school, you’re going to bump into her again at some point. Some of us are willing to take risks, aren’t scared of getting hurt, and willing to put our hearts out there. But a lot of people, especially colleges students, who are still unsure of themselves and their surrounds, won’t see eye to eye with guys like us. They’re not willing to take the same risks as we are. But you can’t really blame them. So you’re better off staying on the safe side. Trust me, in college it’s all about patience. It may even take years for something to cultivate, but it’ll be better than going all-in in the first round and then blowing it.

But you sound like a good guy. I don’t think you were trying to rape anyone or disrespect anybody’s boundaries. You didn’t subject anyone to anything that was going to harm them or damage them. I think at worse you’ve just been teetering on the line between charming persistence and creepy. But only because you’ve got a little more learning to do when it comes to what chicks want.

And don’t forget to always check for a boyfriend. They will NEVER tell you unless they have to.

I think I might be Kristine. But, I can’t be sure.
I could ask you this directly (as it seems that you sent me a Facebook message and friend request the other day), but I thought I might offer my own contribution now that Bwog is involved and there is a potential stake out at Low. Hopefully you can confirm if I am or am not Kristine.
I met a Michael this past Friday at 1020. You were bad with names- you asked me mine three times. We talked about DFW. You recited Hamlet’s soliloquy. I speak French. You were drinking coconut water. We talked about celebrities, social media, and archiving Tweets. You told me that this was the craziest day of your life because you had somehow ended up talking to me (actually a wonderful line). You asked for my phone number as we set to part ways, but then I left with my formidably sized, blond, crew cut boyfriend (who was wearing a shirt and tie, not a sweater).

And that is where the similarities stop.

On one hand I would like to believe that I (maybe) was the source of inspiration for some details of a creative writing piece. Another part of me wants to think that I am in no way involved in this- that you went to 1020 on Saturday and this fantastical, neurotic scenario did in fact unfold as you have described. And, finally, I see this as possibly being a composite piece- with lamentations about that Friday night of things left unsaid, actions undone and unfulfilled desires all elaborately interposed with past rejections and fictitious events.

Of course, no one ever expects the author to reveal his true motivations. However, it would be nice to have my status as Kristine confirmed (my roommates have already taken to calling me “Kristine on the right”). If I am indeed Kristine then I am flattered to have served as a source of inspiration for this piece.

Lastly, I am not available at noon tomorrow (I have my internship from 9-6). This makes me unavailable for any dramatic Hollywood kiss reenactments (also, still have that boyfriend, who is a wonderful conversationalist himself), walks in the park, coffee dates, book readings, kite flying, bike riding, mud wrestling, etc. So, please, don’t commit to another block of hours on the steps. And, please, don’t pee in any more coconut water bottles.