Around this time last year, Bwog brought the class of 2016 up to date on their Deans. While much of that information is still relevant, the class of 2017 would do well to heed some more recent developments in Columbia’s Deanosphere: the departure of campus celebrity Ke$ho and the thrilling conclusion to Feniosky Peña-Mora’s tumultuous resignation.

Schollenberger Moves on to Greener the Same Colored Pastures

(Former) Dean of Student Affairs Kevin Schollenberger, a.k.a. KevSho, a.k.a. Ke$ho

• Once beloved by the student body, a series of repeated frustrations this past year led to growing resentment between students and their supposed representative in the administration
• In response to complaints lodged by members of the community, KevSho condemned Orgo Night’s not-uncharacteristically-lewd flyers, leading to protests, obligatory counter-protests, and memes.
• Ke$ho was also criticized by many on campus for his handling of the Brownstone Review Committee: you can’t please everyone, but you can at least take account of known biases
• One of the last visible actions of Schollenberger as Dean accompanied the coming to light of ZBT’s hazing incident last semester: after their charter was revoked by the Greek Judicial Board, Ke$ho unilaterally overturned this decision, allowing ZBT to remain on campus.
• The saga of this well-known campus figure came to an abrupt close at the end of the last academic year, when Ke$ho announced his resignation and his departure to John’s Hopkins to take on the role of Vice Provost of Students Affairs.
• While Ke$ho still holds a special place in many student’s hearts, his inconsistent, seemingly arbitrary attitude toward different organizations amid a startling lack of transparency, combined with the growing disconnect between administrators and the student body more generally, leaves a bad taste in Bwog’s mouth. Many of Bwog’s commenters agree.
• It remains to be seen whether Interim Dean of Student Affairs Terry Martinez will remain in the position, but according to an article in Columbia College Today announcing his appointment back in 2008, Ke$ho’s departure was a long time coming, and the administration has not yet announced plans on a search for a new Dean.
• Meanwhile, Martinez already came under fire this past year for her role in the Brownstone selection process.

Goldean Replaced in Third Act of Peñamonium

Dean Mary Cunningham Boyce, a.k.a. DMC, a.k.a. whatever SEAS kids decide to call her

• In the wake of former Dean of SEAS Feniosky Peña-Mora’s departure last year, Donald Goldfarb, a.k.a. Goldean, was appointed to the position of Interim Dean of SEAS.
• Throughout this past academic year, a search committee was organized, which went on to gather input, select finalists, and finally make a decision.
• It turns out that the committee’s selection, Mary Cunningham Boyce, may or may not have been involved in a 9/11 coverup during her time at the Institute for Soldier Nanotechnologies — which is to say, she’s pretty badass.
• In due course, Bwog held a nickname contest for the new Dean. The people spoke, and while the official winner of the final poll was MSEAS Hammer, the Bwog staff decided to go with DMC.
• But we can’t force you into anything: call Dean Boyce whatever you want, just don’t go around campus reenacting this.