Senior Year Checklist: Cry, Scramble, Roll Eyes

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we feel you bb
we feel you bb

Bwog’s spirit animal

It’s taken quite some time for your dearly departed senior staff member to write this intro—accepting that we are, in fact, graduating (fingers crossed) is a hard thing to do. But there you have it. Somehow we’ve made it through freshman, sophomore, and junior year, and here we are with just one semester left—or less!

The Pre-Reqs

  • Forget to take the swim test
  • Forget to take that Core requirement you’ve been putting off
  • Don’t apply for the degree
  • Spell your name wrong for your diploma
  • Get diagnosed with Senioritis
  • Take the swim test far from sober

Well, You’ve Gotten This Far…Isn’t That Enough?

  • Battle to find classes for 12 credits the last semester
  • Write a thesis
  • Forget to care about finals
  • Start a paper the day it’s due assuming you will get an extension
  • Start a paper the day it’s due not caring if you get an extension
  • Start a paper the day it’s due because you preferred sleeping over writing it

Choose A Job, Choose A Career

  • Fuck up an interview for post-grad job
  • Ask a beloved prof for a recommendation at last minute
  • Send the wrong application to the wrong grad school
  • Decide too late you want to go to grad school
  • Grab your post-grad friends by the shoulders, shake, and scream “HOW DID YOU DO IT?????”
  • Spill your coffee at an informational meeting
  • Get sloppy drunk at a networking event

Fucking Right

  • Hook up with a TA
  • Finally hook up with the hot GS student in your major
  • Hook up with your neighbor cuz convenience rocks, commitment sucks, and the sex is awesome
  • Hook up with a grad student, marvel at how stupid big their student housing is
  • Take advantage of all the free healthcare available (get tested for everything, guys)
  • Scramble

The Good Life

  • Pregame everything. Just. Everything.
  • Drink openly across campus with reckless abandon
  • Go to Senior Night
  • Assume you can still drink and make it to your 8:40 the next day
  • Complain about how you only ever go to 1020
  • Continue going to 1020
  • Host the Lumberjack Games
  • Avoid EC parties when you finally live there
  • Throw an EC party, regret it
  • When you have to go, go to EC parties in your PJs
  • Give up on socializing

Senior Privilege

  • Complain to the bouncer about how everyone is too young
  • Sigh about your lost days of youth
  • Faint when you realize these children don’t know about Operation Ivy League, Prof. Epstein, or even Four Loko
  • Claim priority on everything—on and off campus—based on year

And, Of Course

  • Take a gap year
  • Start reconnecting with your high school friends because god knows you’re all gonna be back in your hometown in five months
  • Call your mom/dad/grandparents every 20 minutes to make up for the last 3 years, you dickhead
  • Claim you don’t give a fuck about leaving but then sit on Alma’s lap, cry
  • Get on all those roofs you said you’d climb
  • Panic
  • Graduate (??)

 Self portrait via Shutterstock

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  1. SodomyIsWonderful  

    @Anonymous: Seriously, dude, gay sex is awesome.

  2. this

    is totally spot on. especially the EC parties in pjs part.

  3. Anonymous  

    don't get my hopes up, my junior year has been pretty solidly gay-sex free :( :( :(

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