we sure as shit don't look this cute when we're locked out

we sure as shit don’t look this cute when we’re locked out

Fill in the blank: The last time I got locked out was [last term, last month, last week, yesterday, I’m locked out right now].

No fear: Columbia’s latest student attempt to get the administration to care about lowly undergrads petition is on lockout policy. In case you didn’t know, next semester, there’s a good chance that Hospitality would charge you $5 for every time you forget your key and make the trek to Hartley all on your own. If you need them to drop the key off, the fine will be a hefty $20. The policy will probably apply after for your first two trips or your first “key assist” (having the key delivered). On the bright side, you’ll get all of September as a freebie to get adjusted to your new housing. The money raised (take a moment to just think about how much bank this will make) will go towards a fund of student choice.

Why is this happening? Housing thinks you should grow up. It’s also a genuine security issue, in that if it’s late and you need an assist, there’s going to be fewer security personnel at Hartley because someone had to come drop off your key. Princeton’s tried it and apparently it works. Other options have been suggested, like giving master keys to public safety or RAs, but neither of those have been fully played out.

So what’s a poor student to do if you disagree with this? Why, sign a petition of course! Junior Sinclair Target is spearheading a petition via change.org to keep Housing from charging students for borrowing keys. So far it’s got almost 160 supporters, and numbers are rising.

There’s probably a more efficient way to go about doing this. But it’s Columbia. Learn to expect the impractical. And remember to grab your fucking key.

Girl who actually owns two towels via Shutterstock