Is this what you look like at Butler? Us, too.

Is this what you look like at Butler? Us, too.

Look, we know you’ve been listening to Work, Bitch on loop for the last week. Never fear: Bwog is here to diversify your considerable musical interests! To Demi and Jay, obvs. Here we present a finals playlist — one song to play on repeat for each hour of the day. You’re welcome.

Caveat: Bwog is not responsible for you bawling in the reading room. Proceed at your own risk.

8AM: Breakfast — Chiddy Bang

This is it! The day you change the world! Have some cereal or a Ferris omelet! Who cares if you have a day to learn a semester! This is how Einstein did it, probably!

9AM: I Will Never Let You Down — Rita Ora

Wow, there’s so much more in Principles of Econ/Orgo/History of Modern Middle East than you originally thought. At least Rita will always be there.

10AM: The Freeworld — The Uglysuit

Wow, sleepy. Most people aren’t even up yet; definitely okay to close eyes for a minute or two. Here, a nice, long, seven-minute song.

11AM: Come Walk With Me — MIA

What! Entire hour gone! Where is the coffee? Let’s MOVE!! Let’s GET GOING!!

12PM: 3,6,9 — Cat Power

The caffeine has coursed through your veins. You are a goddess.

1PM: Afternoon Delight — Starland Vocal Band

Lunch break/straight hour of watching Arrested Development on mute in Butler. Mood music.

2PM: Warpaint — Juliet Piper

Yum, that mango guava cheesecake was tasty, wasn’t it? And Lucille Bluth certainly didn’t hurt. You are perked and enthused! You are happy and young and a GENIUS, most likely!

3PM: Everything Falls Apart — One AM Radio

Why are you still watching AD? This is ridiculous! LEARN something, you dolt! (this is called IRONY because it is in fact NOT 1AM!)

4PM: Disappointed — Nat & Alex Wolff

The hour wherein you realize precisely how little you in and precisely how little time you have to accomplish so much. How did you let this happen?!?

5PM: How Come You Don’t Want Me — Tegan and Sara

WHY, PROFESSORS, WHY?

6PM: Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again — La Dispute

WHY, SELF, WHY?

7PM: Gimme Sympathy — Metric

Dinner, AKA bitch for the entire hour with your friends. You’ll leave somewhat rejuvenated and almost entirely hopeless for the next generation.

8PM: Empire State Of Mind — Jay Z

Yes, New York! Yes, life! Yes, staying in more!

9PM: Say Anything — Aimee Mann

“Say anything, ’cause I’ve heard everything”

10PM: Fallin’ Apart — All American Rejects

Weirdly perky break-up/kiss-off songs!! The juxtaposition of human emotion and mortality … [yawn]

11PM: Maybe I’m Just Tired — As Tall As Lions

Why is 11 so exhausting? Ninth graders are still awake in Ohio.

12AM: Leave (Get Out) — JoJo

Oh, you’re all going to the hottest party on campus 1020? Oh, cool, guess I’ll just hang out here and pretend to learn these conjugations. No, it’s fine, this is fun too.

1AM: Nothing Is Anything — Wintersleep

Existence is a void, and we are but ants flocking to a small fleck of cookie crumb.

2AM: 22 — Taylor Swift

You, also, are “happy, free, confused, and lonely,” but perhaps not in the best way. (this is not on the actual playlist and we resent Tay for this beyond words)

3AM: Give Your Heart A Break — Demi Lovato

“There’s just so much you can take” OH GOD

4AM: Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas — Andrew Belle

When the fuck is Christmas. Who has hot chocolate.

5AM: One More Night — Maroon 5

OK! Let’s do this! If Adam Levine can get through this one last night, so can you! (note: we are aware that Butler cramming is most certainly not what this song is about)

6AM: How to Fight Loneliness — Wilco

What? Even the one other person in the ref room is departing? We are fundamentally alone in the universe.

7AM: Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want — Smiths

Please.

8AM: I Don’t Fuck With You — Big Sean

Fuck this.

 

As the youths say, GL. ILY.

Jam out with your Clamato out via Shutterstock