What divides New York state

It’s not a rivalry, we’re frenemies

Bwog rarely cares about sports (especially when it involves non-Columbia teams), but sportswear clad New York baseball fans infiltrated the MTA this weekend for the Mets-Yankees series. They were loud, pregaming in public places, vulgar, rambunctious…basically all things we are/inspire to be when Bacchanal Saturday rolls around. Since we didn’t quite get there this Bacchanal, it’s time for us to put on our baseball caps and assimilate into fanfare-inspired debauchery for a warmer April weekend. As we gear up finals, be sure to send along your weekend hits and strikes to tips@bwog.com

Mets, 8

  • “Stripped naked and ran into the ocean in the middle of the night.”
  • “Got in an argument over the Core with a stranger in a bar. Got matched with a Bwog staffer on Tinder.”
  • “Snagged the set list of a Speedy Ortiz concert where I (per the encouragement of my friends) demanded the attention of the lead singer because she went to Barnard. Luckily I don’t think she fully saw or heard me.”
  • “Snuck into the Tribeca Film Festival. Ended up in Premiere Reserved seats without a ticket. Finished a whole bottle of moscato by myself.”
  • “Went to see a short playing at Tribeca Film Festival on Thursday night because the filmmaker is an alum of a program I went on in high school. Saw the short; got coffee with its 29 year-old Israeli filmmaker after; turns out every director/writer/editor of films shown get smashed day and night; he offers me a joint and we smoke it around the World Trade Center. Some things we think are only reserved for dreams.”
  • “Growing increasingly addicted to a show titled ‘Weird Loners.'”

Yankees, 2

  • “My Metro North train from Poughkeepsie to Grand Central is stopping directly at Yankee and everyone here is sportswear clad and chugging Bid Lights…Help it is so loud and drunk here in rural New York at 1:42 on a Saturday afternoon.”
  • “Got progressively cockblocked by four different people over three hours.”
  • “Currently wearing a bandaid on every single finger.”
  • “Housed a prior hookup who lost her key to her room at 5 in the morning.”
  • “Spent my scavenger hunt money on ice cream and a pot pie (still enough left for a 12 pack).”
  • “Went to a psychic in West Village.”

It doesn’t matter because both of your stadiums are in lesser boroughs via Shutterstock