“You can hide behind a dark screen because that’s what the angry do these days”

Pissed at a professor? At your unfinished essay? At this goddamn institution? Take a look at these cathartic online account-inspired representations of the many “the man” we have here on campus. It doesn’t just start and end with the admin… peep some slightly fabricated accounts of our favorite neighborhood spots here too!

UNIs and Other Email Addresses:

D-Spar: corpfem6666@barnard.edu

Ricardo Morales: RickyRoo42@columbia.safety.net

Dean Hinkson: YaIPostYoutubeVidsFromMyDesk@barnard.edu

Financial Aid Office: lol1234@columbia.edu

Diana Center: vag2010@barnard.edu

NSOP: cava2019@columbia.edu

International Wines & Spirits: fake1994@columbia.edu

Deantini’s personal email that he uses for his Spotify account: madonnafanboi@coolacademicdude.net

Follow them on Twitter:

Suzanne Goldberg: @sex_is_like_a_traffic_light_911

Lee Bollinger: @TheLastTimeIWasInMoHiWas2007

Dean Hinkson: @tinydeskseries

Mel’s Burger Bar: @OperationFindMagic

Financial Aid Office: @WeCrushUrDreamz

Lerner: @Mark_Lerner_Official1 (we heard this was a troll account, though)

Carman: @PassedOutInUrShower

If you name that movie quote correctly this Bwog staffer might marry you via Shutterstock