Us in the cold

Don’t worry if you couldn’t make it to the review session. Tonight’s windchill was so disrespectful, it felt like a physical manifestation of the Orgo exam itself. But it’s cool (literally), we’ve got you covered with all the answers– find this semester’s Orgo Night script below.

FALL 2016 ORGO NIGHT SCRIPT by amara on Scribd

Get your story straight, PrezBo.

In light of the Columbia Administration’s controversial decision to banish Orgo Night from Butler 209, Bwog sent Staff Writer Sarah Kinney to sit in on the December meeting of the University Setting to see if PrezBo had any insight to offer on the matter. Also, read on until the end to see a very exciting announcement (unless you religiously check Bwog’s twitter, in which case you probably already know about this. But read until the end, anyway.)

Once the December session of the University Senate was called to order, President Bollinger gave his opening remarks. In typical PrezBo fashion, he spoke about his committed effort to protect free speech on Columbia’s campus, highlighting the relevance of this endeavor in terms of discourse concerning the presidential election. He also hinted that early next semester there would be some “very significant” announcements—maybe Michelle Obama really will be the next DSpar after all.

But we didn’t walk all the way over to Shapiro CESPR in the freezing cold to just hear PrezBo talk about free speech. After about twenty minutes of his opening remarks, he called for questions – and immediately, the arm belonging to a young man seated three rows in front of us shot straight into the air. He was given the mic and stood up to address PrezBo.

Read on to find out what he said…

A Lerner bathroom’s idea of holiday decoration

As finals loom and our oncoming grade deflation becomes a force for sure doom, we often take to studying in strange locations: the eighth floor of Butler, abandoned classrooms in Havermeyer, and even the Lerner ramps. One Bwog staffer particularly fond of those black chairs outside Ferris began studying regularly in Lerner during the later hours of the evening a few weeks ago. She liked the low-stress atmosphere, the background noise, and the occasional encounters with dance groups, but one aspect of the building quickly grew to disgust her: the bathrooms.

From our experience, it seems as though the Lerner bathrooms are some of the most revolting on campus. We’ve seen more diarrhea, vomit, and entire rolls of toilet paper in toilets in the fourth-floor bathroom this past month than in Carman this past year. This can only beg the question: what’s so special about Lerner? Why are the bathrooms in this one building more disgusting than anywhere else?

In an attempt to puzzle through this conundrum, we’ve come up with a few theories:

1. This is a visceral response to Ferris food. Students just can’t stand that pizza being in their bodies for one more second.
2. People are taking out their anger resulting from their inability to find seats in Butler on the Lerner toilets.
3. It’s because Lerner is too difficult to navigate – by the time you’ve found a bathroom, you’ve already been looking around for so long that you just urgently need to go. And flushing… that’s entirely out of the question.
4. The many performance groups fighting for space in Lerner have brought their competition into the toilets – the group that makes the biggest mess gets Roone for two entire weekends next semester.
5. It’s hard to concentrate on your bowel movements for long enough to flush when there’s a rat on the loose.
6. Lerner has given up on being clean (seriously, have you seen those carpet stains?), and so have we.

Happy on the outside, disgusting on the inside via Bwog Staff

When you get that successful 3 AM buy/sell meme but you know you’re just wasting time by caring and need to give up on your life for your finals.

Last year we recorded some of the strange, absurd, and downright nihilistic room reservations throughout the vast Columbia room reservation network. As the dreaded arctic blasts™ hit our cloistered ivory tower, the true Butler outsiders have turned the room reservation network into an anonymous public slate to scribble fleeting graffiti aimed against the stressful status quo. The cost of true academic focus is an addictive and debilitating delirium that chews through even the most stable and content of us.

Below you’ll find those room reservation titles and descriptions which most piqued our interest. You can find the full list here.

Things Get Absurd At Night

Find the best anon content this side of b@b

Burn all your papers in the fire and forget about finals!

As reading “week” draws to a close, you’ve probably been invited to a million different study breaks. You definitely can’t go to them all if you actually want to study for your finals, but how about another? Join Columbia Student Life and Columbia RHLO for a study break in John Jay today from 2 – 6 pm.

The full event description is here: Oh your finals next week are frightful, but the John Jay fire is so delightful, and since Butler is crowded so…come join Undergraduate Student Life and RHLO in the John Jay Lounge for a fireside study break! USL staff and RHLO will host a study break next to the fireplace in John Jay on Thursday, December 15 from 2:00pm to 6:00pm. We’ll have music, hot chocolate, and gingerbread cookies to decorate and eat. Take a break from studying and stop by the fire to warm up and relax!

For more information, check the facebook event!

Bet you haven’t forgotten that you have a final tomorrow!

Bwogline: Yesterday, many Silicon Valley tech firms had a meeting in New York City with President Elect Donald Trump. At the meeting, Trump made a promise to the firms that he would make fair trade deals.

Study Tip: If you need to remember long lists of names, dates, or events, make fun mnemonics to help yourself remember them. Think “Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally.” The weirder or dirtier, the better!

Music: Stop being scared for your finals and be “Fearless” instead by throwing it back to your old Taylor Swift favorite songs.

Procrastinate: Make an account on Duolingo and start teaching yourself that language that you’ve always wanted to learn and never had a chance to!

Overheard: “I made a Millie girl gang group.”

String on Your Finger via Interaction Associates

Orgo night, but every time they say “protest” it gets faster

The Columbia University Marching Band released a statement tonight declaring their intent to perform Orgo Night in protest to Vice Provost Ann Thornton’s decision to forbid the event from occurring in Butler 209.

Specifically, the Band claims that Columbia’s decision to block the use of 209 is a suppression of free speech which all groups should fear. The Columbia University Marching Band’s decision to protest comes after semesters of referencing protesters in their Orgo Night scripts. In Fall 2015, for example, they referred to a BCSN event as an “all-you-can-protest buffet.”

According to the event’s Facebook page, Orgo Night will begin at 11:30 in front of Butler Library. “Orgo Night,” the statement declares, “is NOT cancelled.”

See the full statement from the band after the jump: