Apr

16

How Far Is Too Far For A Hookup? (Distance Wise)

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While living in the secluded oasis that is Morningside Heights certainly has its perks, one of its super shitty downsides is being wicked far away from everything. Like when that super cute and flirty NYU boy you’ve been messaging on Tinder invites you down to his neck of the woods. Boy, it’s 12:30 am! I ain’t about to take the subway all the way down to Greenwich alone! It’s moments like these where you could use a definitive map of how far is too far. Bwog is here to help you out. 

Morningside Heights

Stay within this circle.

So earlier in the week, you matched on Tinder with a super cute Columbia grad student. They’ve been hitting on you constantly for the past few days and finally, they invite you over to their place late on Thursday night. What the hell! you think. I’m gonna head over. But wait—before you leave your dorm, make sure you have clear instructions as to where their apartment is. Only if it’s within the circle will it be worth it. There’s only so many blocks any one person can walk for Thursday Tinder sex.

 

The rest of Manhattan

Read the instructions carefully.

Now here’s where it gets complicated. If they invite you to their highrise Lincoln Center Juilliard dorm, and if they’re really really cute, then sure; take the subway. But, if they’re any further than that, they better be pullin’ out their phones and calling you a Uber. No way you’re paying $30 to take an Uber all the way down to NYU. If they want you that badly, they can pay for the car. Oh, and same goes for the upper east side. I mean, if they’re inviting you to their apartment on the upper east side, odds are they can shell out $15 for an Uber. But beware, friends, because there is one forbidden zone: Brooklyn. If you even have your Tinder radius set high enough to include Brooklyn, you’re already asking for disaster. Even if they offer to pay for the Uber it’s still going to take a million years. Odds are they won’t even be feeling it anymore by the time you get to their place. It’s best to just stay away.

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4 Comments

  1. WOW this shit  

    this shit is offensive. conveniently hell's kitchen and harlem are left out. I SEE YOU, BWOG.

  2. Meep  

    Um...Brooklyn too far? Rly? U must not be from NYC 😂

  3. Hoboken 8"

    There is a clear anti-New jersey bias in this article. The best dick's in Jersey and yet it isn't even mentioned. This is offensive. Shabby journalism.

  4. Anti-Meep

    Meep is a creep! this article is a hoot, and accurate.

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