Daily Archive: April 28, 2017

Apr

28

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img April 28, 20177:10 pmimg 0 Comments

straight up to my face

Ever since the ban/relocation of the Columbia University Marching Band’s Orgo Night, there has been a series of mishaps and miscommunication on the part of the Columbia administration. Bwogger Amara Banks calls them out on their fake love. 

Since last semester, a collection of frustrated Columbia University Marching Band alumni has penned a total of 10 defenses of Orgo Night. Created in the style of pamphlets, the group desired to express their disagreement and frustration with the tradition’s cancellation.

After its 10th publication on March 26th, a letter addressed to President Bollinger (and emailed to several other campus administrators, including Ann Thronton and Deantini) essentially asked, “What’s the deal?” Their letter opens with a summary of the group’s communications with the university—emails and letter sent to him, Thornton and Valentini. According to Hamiltonius, the administration’s response has consistently been: “The University administration knows best and that no action will be taken in response to alumni concerns.”

The group began drafting and publishing pamphlets in another attempt to start conversation with the administration, sending the essays both via email and snail. The letter included a summary of the conflict and their frustration before ultimately calling for a response:

“Where do we go from here? We are alumni who love Columbia, who actively participate in alumni events and reunions, who return to Columbia for homecoming and Days on Campus, who interview high school students for the Admissions Office, and who attend athletic events to cheer on our Lions… What do we want? We want you and Dean Valentini to stop ignoring us and putting us off with platitudes and form letters.”

Nice turkey where’s the beef

Apr

28

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img April 28, 20175:26 pmimg 0 Comments

I agree.

When we listlessly sit in lecture, we tend to do various things — sleep, doodle, viciously glare at others, noisily eat some concoction inevitably involving peanut butter, and write some shit in our notes. As we look at our notes for the first time during Reading Week, let’s commemorate our recorded moments of triumph, despair, surprise, and resignation.

  • “Yikes!!!!!!”
  • “We’ve got a looooong way to go”
  • “Devil looks like Dobby”
  • “I hate queer theory” x 3
  • “Performativity”
  • “Why is Oedipus complex in nearly every book?”
  • “A glimpse of evening sunlight signifies not freedom, but death”
  • “I Hate This Class”
  • “I! Need! To! Pee!”
  • “‘Meow’ – our defense mechanism”
  • “M gives student what serpent said to Adam + Eve, student doesn’t understand M shitting on subjects”
  • “Lecture Scares The Poor Prospie”
  • “Woolf’s lighthouse = phallic symbol”
  • “Bwog pitch: how to distract yourself in class when you need to pee”
  • “Regan = incestuous :0”
  • “WOW!”

Notes via Betsy Ladyzhets

Apr

28

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img April 28, 20173:29 pmimg 0 Comments

Thanks

As my great-great-great-grandmother always used to say, one must not always rely on external validation. The seasons change, and people vary, but there is perhaps only one constant — you. Validation that comes from within rather than from without is as firm a foundation as whatever the hell is holding up Butler after all these years of suffering. It is as constant as the turning of the sun, my LitHum classmates using the word “dichotomy”, and my neighbors smoking weed on weeknights. Yet, someone else is more constant than these constant things, and it is that one person who always likes our posts through the Facebook widget.

I see you, you beautiful anonymous user, liking my shitty Bwoglines content the moment it is posted. Cheetahs travel at 109.4-120.7 km/h, peregrine falcons travel at 389 km/h, and black marlins travel 129 km/h, but 3*10^8 m/s is the speed at which you travel to like our posts and the speed in which I fell in love with you. May your days be merry, and may you keep refreshing our website (or continuing to be a bot).

Apr

28

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The wisest of them all

It’s not every day that you meet someone “wise.”  For such a terrifying dearth of wisdom, I often seek good, home-grown wisdom in literary characters. For instance, I would call myself a “stan” of Nestor — Nestor is wise. Nestor is also a senior. Therefore, if you are a senior, you are wise. If you are not a senior, you’re out of luck, but you can redeem yourself by nominating someone for Senior Wisdoms.

Nominations are due today at 11:59 pm. Send their name, email, and a brief description of why your chosen senior might be so wise to tips@bwog.com. If you want to be sneaky, submit through our anonymous form.

Florida is a phallic object via Eric Gaba

Apr

28

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He has the key to a bottomless pit, but who has the key to my heart?

Happening in the world: On Wednesday, NASA’s Cassini spacecraft captured the closest-ever pictures of Saturn’s atmosphere. It also found a quote unquote “giant hurricane.” (Space.com)

Happening in NYC: Cutting bathroom tissue as the inaugural ribbon, the toilet authorities of NYC opened a public bathroom that cost nearly $300,000 to make (it has imported tiles and classical music). (TIME)

Happening on campus: Later today at 3 pm in the Satow Room on the 5th floor of Lerner, the Office of Financial Aid will host a party of sorts concerning reapplying for financial aid. There will be useful information and dim-sum.

Overheard: “Something was put into a bank vault and never put again.”
“Sometimes I quote myself in Bwoglines.”

Health goth tip: “Don’t buy a bag of Doritos at 2 am in the morning because you’ll end up eating half the bag.” – Anonymous

The Angel with the Key to the Bottomless Pit by Albrecht Dürer via the Met

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