So much yellow

Next up on our Senior Wisdom lineup is Barnard’s Alexandra Warrick, famous for prize-winning and Latenite-ing. 

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Alexandra Warrick, Barnard College, Film and English, New York City (I grew up by the 72nd street stop.)

Claim to fame: I won the Andrew Sarris Prize for a thesis on Tim and Eric, Eric Andre and Million Dollar Extreme, so you can say I’m Morningside’s foremost scholar on Men Puking On Themselves. I buzzed my whole head for a KCST show and have co-created a smattering of controversial Latenite plays. I’m also “Grayson’s Sister”.

Where are you going? I’ll be around, scribbling.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2021?

1) Please, please, please, I beg of you, keep your head screwed on about this extracurricular shiz. So you’re the editor-in-chief of a thing or you’re the lead of a show or you’re the captain of the shebang – okay. That’s great, take pride in that, but try to create some form of identity outside of that, for Christ’s sake, and always be sure to let the air out of it just a little. Don’t be the arrogant kid who thinks their star turn in the Lerner Black Box automatically proves anything, and don’t be the poor sap who scrambles all four years to be the big dog only to be spat out into the world having wasted their time on dominating the kiddie sandbox of campus engagement. I mean, play around, get better, hone your skills doing clubs, but maintain a healthy dose of cynicism as you do so.

2) So now I’m gonna take all the cynicism of my first point and boot it out the window for my next: get delusional! Indulge in a little Columbia whimsy and let Morningside go to your head; get drunk and swanny on school spirit. Bop down College Walk when the twinkle lights are on and get all emotional about it; make playlists stuffed full of Vampire Weekend and Morningsiders; read essayists’ recollections of being CU undergrads and feel like you’re part of a grand and goofy tradition. Get sucked into the drama of it all. Be the main character of a cliché movie in your head about a kid who goes to Columbia and falls in dumb love with new books, new people, new walks down new streets. Get out there and embarrass me, Class of 2020.

3) If you’re percolating on a new project, keep those lips zipped – people will Winklevoss you so hard if you let them.

“Back in my day…” You could pick up a crisp new physical copy of the Spectator every morning and maybe even peruse its Arts Section over Eggs Benedict at Deluxe. (Alternatively, if that didn’t float your boat – 292 Magazine at Havana Central?) We also had a Sandbassador.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: ALMA SLAUGHTER: Coming Soon to Own on DVD and VHS.

What was your favorite class at Columbia? I took an absolutely killer Culture in America class with brilliant nightlife sociologist Victor P. Corona, who has become an invaluable mentor, friend, and guide through the sparkly wilderness of the downtown scene. I’m also a real Rob King junkie and have never missed a chance to take a class of his; his captivating lectures on topics like comedy and cult cinema have swept me through the kookiest, freakiest content.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? I have family from the Swiss Alps, and we are heavy into Raclette. Unless by oral sex you mean Oh Raclette, A Lovely, Savory Edible Xtravaganza, I think the choice is clear.

One thing to do before graduating: Hey, kids who don’t do theatre: give Latenite a shot. I don’t care if you haven’t performed since your third-grade recital or if you have debilitating stage fright or if you’re, ugh, “too busy” – just do it, I guarantee a memorable time.

Any regrets? I’ve been caustic, laughingly mean; I’ve zoned out on brilliant lectures; I’ve allowed great friendships to fade due to lack of maintenance; I’ve clicked “Attend” far more than I’ve actually Attended. If Columbia was a delicious, overflowing fruit basket of knowledge, inspiration and life-changing friendship, I feel like I just swanked up to it, took like two bites and then slapped the rest of it off the table. There’s so much I could have done, shit! But I’ll end my wisdom with a quote from the dude I started life with and whom I glean most of my wisdom: “If we learn from the past rather than ruminate on it, our regrets will soon be anything but.“

(Also – I wrote consistently at points for Spec, Blue and White, the Lion but…not Bwog? A sincere oversight for any would-be campus journo.)

Photo via Kevin Chiu