Waking Up With Bwog: Hello New People
Written by Bwog Staff
If you haven’t yet had a totally normal, non-awkward social interaction with anything on this campus, this byline can be your first one: what’s up! Welcome to Columbia, 2021! As move-in continues and you begin to settle in, you may realize that making friends can be an annoying process. Asking people their name & origin will soon get old, and instead you’ll want to know stuff like whether they’ve ever looked at their asshole in a mirror. Fear not. Until you find those people, we’ll be your people. When you see/hear/do anything ridiculous, send it over to firstname.lastname@example.org (or use our anonymous form). (Also, yes, at least one of us has looked at their asshole in a mirror.)
- Columbia College Assembly and LitHum, 9-11:30am: Deantini will throw your first LitHum class of the semester after first making you all recite an honor code that you’ll totally adhere to. While these are technically two separate events on the schedule, they will almost certainly blur together.
- Columbia Engineering Assembly, 9-10:30am: Dean Boyce will tell you about your life for the next four years as an engineering student. This one is an hour shorter than CC’s, so just go. It’s all you’re required to do today.
One Thing To Do Before Graduating: Take some JJ’s chicken strips for the road. JJ’s has some weird rules about taking food to-go, so you’ll probably have to sneak some out at some point. Just throw them in your bag/pocket and no one will notice. There’s nothing like finding a forgotten chicken tender on your person after a long day in Brooklyn or Butler. Practice self love.
Chirp via Creative Commons <3
Tags: are u a tinderella or a chicken tinder, bwog baby daddy, chicken titty, go to office hours so you can ask your profs' zodiac signs, JJ's stands for john jacob jingleheimer schmidt's, nslop, nsop, NSTOP in the name of love, waking up with a banana costume, waking up with bwog, we've always wanted to spend 12 hours in duane reade maybe this semester will be our time