Sep

8

Who You Were In High School And What Clubs You Should Join

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Fuck sticking to the status quo

For all you first years out there, the memories of high school are just a few months old. However, for the rest of us, those days seem long forgotten. So for those of you just arriving on campus who have yet to redefine yourselves, here’s a handy dandy guide to some cool clubs you should consider based on your high school stereotype. 

If you were a theater kid…

If you were a theater kid in high school, odds are you were extroverted, nerdy, loud, and artsy. Unfortunately, theater life at Columbia isn’t super impressive. Because of this (unless you sell out to the Varsity Show), try going for an acapella group or even Columbia University Sketch Show (CUSS). You can keep up that dramatic lifestyle while gaining a little bit of street cred.

If you were a sk8er kid…

Try showing up to an ADP party. Make sure you don’t forget your cigarettes. If my calculations are correct, you’ll fit right in. Your high school self will transition seamlessly into your college self, albeit with a heavier dose of imposter syndrome. You’ll spend most of your time in Brooklyn and start lying about where you’re actually from.

If you were a jock…

You miss Texas but are trying to act cool in the big city.  If you’re not already a football player, consider joining an intramural team. Also consider becoming a stoner, because those are the only fun kinds of athletes. Rush Kappa Delta Rho.

If you were a debate nerd…

Boy have we got the clubs for you! Join Columbia Debate. Columbia International Relations Council and Association (CIRCA). Or even Mock Trial. Buy a nicer suit, grab your encyclopedia, and get ready to make geopolitical problem solving your bitch. You will turn into a stronger, larger, and more capable version of your former self.

If you were in marching band…

Join CUMB. Enough said.

If you were that mysterious sexy outsider whom everybody secretly had a crush on…

You’re probably an incredible writer. You have a lot of personality but sometimes it lies below the surface. You have a very dry sense of humor that some people can’t handle, but you don’t really give a shit, because you know you’re funny. You’re too cool for your hometown and want to make it to New York someday. You should probably join Bwog.

Dance number image via E! Online

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