1100 bucks and it won’t even come with douchey AirPods.

What’s Happening In The World: Apple announced it’s releasing three new phones and fucking up its naming system more than ever before with the XR, XS, and XS Max. They range from normal to near-iPad sizes, and also from the “affordable” $749 to the whopping $1099. That’s like, a hundred bucks less than a MacBook. What are you even doing, Apple? (The Verge)

What’s Happening In The US: Three Trump-related disasters for the price of one: First, the New York Times reported that the number of migrant children being detained in shelters is the highest it’s ever been at 12,800. Second, Trump bragged about his response to Hurricane Maria and Puerto Rico, even though 3,000 people died. And third, while promoting his father’s response to Hurricane Florence – which hasn’t landed yet – Eric Trump said something that Paul Ryan might call “textbook anti-Semitism” and then not do anything about. (NYTimes, CNN, Mashable)

What’s Happening In NYC: Don’t forget to vote in the New York State primary today if you’re registered! This is your chance to decide between a person who eats whack bagels and a corrupt lizard man for our Governor. Go get it and find your polling place here.

What’s Happening At Columbia: Head over to Teachers’ College at 6pm tonight for a book talk on “Rule Makers, Rule Breakers: How Tight and Loose Cultures Wire Our World. “As part of the Perspectives on Peace series…the event will include a discussion with Dr. Michele Gelfand in conversation with Dr. Peter Coleman, on her most recent book. Book signing and wine and cheese reception to follow.”

Bop of the Day: