Photo by Leah Greenstein

Bwog is checking out for summer (unless something marvelously big happens that we simply must tell you about) as it is officially June, but first we’d like to give you a round-up of what’s been going on in the CU world these last two weeks.  It has definitely been a memorable semester and we hope you have a relaxing/productive/magical/eye-opening/lazy summer.  Class of 2013: you were an awesome crop of kids and we can’t wait to see where you go.  Don’t forget about us when we’re no longer young and beautiful you’re famous.

• Bwog extends a huge congratulations to the Columbia baseball team who won a real nail-biter of an exciting game last night against New Mexico–Columbia’s first NCAA tournament win!  They came back from a 0-5 deficit in the 8th inning and will be playing against Arizona State today at 7 pm (catch it on ESPN3).  Also in baseball news, check out this NYTimes profile about Joey Falcone, who threw the first pitch at a Mets game last week. (ESPN, NYTimes, Go Columbia Lions)
• We got a tip amending our caption on the crowned Deantini picture from Commencement from graduate Gabriel Metzger:

I tried to toss Deantini my crown frisbee-style but the aerodynamics on a blow up piece of plastic aren’t great, so that was a fail. Instead, I walked around the barriers and actually placed the crown atop his head (yes, I crowned Deantini, it was epic).

You can see the picture of this magical moment at right, which was made into Deantini’s new Facebook prof pic.

• Ebonie Smith, BC’07, teamed up with the Barnard Center for Research on Women to found Gender Amplified, a movement to celebrate women in music production.  They’ve got an Indiegogo campaign and will be having the Gender Amplified Music Festival at Barnard in the fall.  Girl power! (Gender Amplified, Indiegogo)
• After way too long, CU Assassins has finally come to a conclusion.  The winning team was The Chinese Gymnastics Team (Alex Kalicki, Andrew Arredondo, Greg Duchard, Seun Omotunde), while Eleanor Stein and Dylan Smith tied for most kills.  You can see the full email from ESC here.
  
• A+ tipster Daniel Sims, SEAS’14, was listening to comedy show Keith and the Girl when Patrick Carlin, brother of George, talked about Columbia students getting scammed back in his day while looking for prostitutes.  You can listen to it here (contains NSFW language).  (Special thank you to Keith and the Girl for the audio file!)
• Another A+ tipster, James Boothe, thought his sandwich recipe was solid enough to warrant mention on Bwog.  Bwog agrees.  And here we present The SchapHero:

“From the bottom-up:
-12 inch sub bun, steamed over boiling pot of water
-About an inch of hot pastrami
-Light ground black pepper
-3 full-length dill pickle spears, laid parallel to the bun
-Another inch of hot pastrami
-More light ground black pepper
-Light mustard
-Close it up”

• Apartment hunting?  Bwog alum comedy group Local Empire has a video for you:

Kapil Wattamar

Now we have one final Senior Wisdom to close out the Class of 2013.  We love you all and wish you all best!

Name, Hometown, School: kapwatt. As true as it is that I was born and raised in Queens, I can’t deny that I’m an NJ’er at heart. If browntown were a real word, it would mean my hometown, Edison, NJ. And SEAS BME all the way.

Claim to fame? Co-Coordinator of the Hindu Students Organization (HSO). CEO of the Columbia Undergraduate Science Journal (CUSJ). Beatboxer for CU Sur. The guy playing piano at strange hours in the EC 2^ndfloor lounge. Dude with the cereal wall.

Where are you going? Straight to question 4.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. You don’t need to have an opinion about everything. Though you are in a place where it often seems like everyone around you feels strongly about everything, that shouldn’t pressure you into adopting a point of view for the sake of having one. The issues that matter to you will jump out at you, whether they do so early or late. You are perfectly justified in being the quiet observant person that likes to be informed about all perspectives in a conversation, the person who listens and evaluates rather than talks. The important thing is, however, to find SOMETHING that matters to you. Whether it’s global in scale or even just a local matter, find that one thing that excites you, that can make you talk endlessly. You have four years to find that needle in this haystack we call Columbia. Go.
2. It’s important not only to know how your mind works, but also how to work your mind. You need to know how to motivate yourself. Can you pick yourself up when you are faced with seemingly insurmountable confusion or stress? We live in an extremely dynamic world. What makes you happy may not last for long. The next thing to bring you down may be lurking right around the corner. You need stable sources of comfort that you can always depend on. To start, you have your family and friends. Perhaps serving a tennis ball or innovating in the kitchen makes you feel at ease. For me, classical Indian music has a personal meaning and a healing power that I know will exist indefinitely. I can always go to it, and things will be ok, no matter what.
3. Get to know people and don’t hate. We started in different places and are headed in very different directions. But for one brief moment, our paths crossed here. We took a breath together here at Columbia. While you are on this picturesque campus, say hello or strike up a conversation when you pass by someone you know. You have more company here than you think. Friends of different years and schools will open your eyes to the world in different ways. You may occasionally find people who you’re not fond of. Don’t hate those people. Instead find something in them that you admire. Everyone here has something to teach you, whether it’s staying organized, staying in touch with others, handling awkward situations. Making time for fun, asking the right questions, understanding what your calling is. Empathizing, writing meaningfully, speaking eloquently. Or maybe someone has a sense of humor that’s new to you and you think it’s brilliant. Yes, I wrote that list, inspired by one person at a time, and I could tell you exactly who taught me what. I’m thankful that I know those people. They are all role models to me in some way.

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Randolph Carr III

Name, Hometown, School: My birth name is Randolph Carr III, a name long descended from my slave-owning, colonial forefathers. However, throughout my time at Columbia, at some point or another, I have been called Malik Newton, Xavier Lee, Brother CUSH, or some combination of these names, usually began with the honorific, Brother. South Central Los Angeles, California. Columbia College.

Claim to fame: At random hours, I could be seen walking around the Upper West Side, casually strolling about, usually alone. At the most unnecessary of moments, I would ride my bike from my dorm to class in Hamilton, just because. Whenever the weather permitted, I could be seen perched on the platform at the side of the Low Library steps, overlooking Low Plaza. In other words, my claim to fame is not really doing shit.

Where are you going? I will be in the city, here and there, wherever I happen to find myself. I will work enough to pay for a ridiculously cramped apartment with several roommates and enough food to survive. I will read, incessantly and indiscriminately. Occasionally, I will be on campus to, once again, sit atop my perch on Low Steps, not doing shit. I want to stay informed and active, preparing myself for what is next to come. What is next to come? If my vision were that good I would have less injuries, more money, and I would, surely, be much, much less interesting.

If you are around in the city and you are one of the rare individuals who doesn’t find me annoying, please give me a call. I always enjoy a good conversation. And, to those friends who will be returning to Columbia in the fall, whenever you have a swipe you would like to give away, hit a brother up.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

• You are not unintelligent. Just because your classmates may have gone to elite private schools since nursery school, translated the Iliad in high school, and often use words like milieu or some other frequently misplaced word like dialectic, does not mean they are smarter than you, or their thoughts more valuable. You should never be afraid to speak your mind, candidly and openly. You should never walk with your head down for you are intelligent despite feeling otherwise. Anyone who would have you believe differently is probably not as intelligent as they would hope or pretend. Speak, and speak proudly.
• Keep your commitments that you make to yourself and others. All of your words, big or small, should be honored. When you say you will do something, do so. If you can’t keep your commitments to your friends while in college , why might you suddenly do so in the “real world”? All you have are your words. If you say you will meet someone at John Jay do so even if it means missing that concert that you just secured tickets to and much rather attend.
• Don’t take up too much space. You should always be present, fully, in every living moment. While, yes, you should always proudly, and sometimes loudly, speak your mind–no one likes a motor mouth. Speak in short thoughts, when asked, when necessary. This does not mean be silent or be passive: you can also take up a lot of space when you say nothing. Be conscious and present with others in the room. Your words mean infinitely more when they are preceded by an open ear, a giving hand, and a kind heart.

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Photo cred Daphne Chen

Ladies and gentlemen, your CCSC President.

Name, Hometown, School: Karishma Habbu, Atlanta, GA, Columbia College

Claim to fame? Oddly the most visible thing I did as Columbia College Student Council President was harass you with a weekly email called Lion Bytes (Secret: those things took me 3 hrs each so I’m as glad as you are that they are no more)

Where are you going? Medical school at Case Western Reserve in Cleveland, OH

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. The websites Print at CU, Housing at CU, Laundry View, and the Columbia Directory of Courses will all make your life easier (I didn’t know about the directory until junior year!). Both Dining and Athletics have mobile apps if you’re into either of those things. SSOL has a lot more stuff on it than you would think so take the time to click all the buttons. Through google labs you can divide your inbox into unread at the top and read at the bottom = solid gold. Asana is a project managing app that will help you organize your life – if used along with the app Cue, you will never miss a to do.
   
2. You can be a good leader without being a politician. One typically requires manipulating those around you while the other does not. I use to think being a leader was about making noise, never trusting the vaguely termed “administration” and generally being aggressive. But here’s the thing; the only way to get people to listen to you is to have them respect you. I learned through trial and error that well-articulated logic, negotiation and compromise will get you much farther than throwing tantrums and telling lies.
3. It’s not weird to have no good friends, an iffy GPA, and intense anxiety about your future all at the same time. I wish someone had told me that along with the wonderful fact that each of those insecurities CAN AND WILL be resolved over your four years here. Good friends are made through shared experiences and time spent together – of course it’ll take a year or two to find those! You’re in a completely new academic environment that is more rigorous than most grad programs – of course it’ll take you time (it took me 3 semesters) to figure out how to study or write that perfect paper! As for the last one – all you can ask of yourself is your best. Once you know you’re putting your best into your work, applications, etc., there is really no point in worrying. Your self-esteem cannot rely on little successes and failures that will figure themselves out. Life at Columbia is so good once you’re confident in who you are and what you’re doing.

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Jasper Clyatt

And now we bring you one of Bwog’s favorite people at this entire school in his reveal as the voice behind @Butler_209, who got us through many an all-nighter–not to mention his work on Carman Forever and Ni**as in Ferris.

Name, Hometown, School: Jasper L. Clyatt, Rye, NY, CC

Claim to fame? I photograph a lot of things and have supplied at least 30 of James Bennett II’s Facebook profile pictures. I blue myself at Halloween and Bacchanal. I worked with some excellent rappers while directing Carman Forever and the Ni**as in Ferris music video series. I was the voice of @Butler_209.

Where are you going? Like the late Alvin Lee said, I’m goin’ home. My plan is to commute into Manhattan from the suburbs for about a year, then rent a penthouse quadruplex in the Village for two weeks. Prorated, of course.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. It seems that many Columbians would rather be right than happy. Not everyone and not all of the time of course, but as a community we always find something to indignantly defend or destroy. Every semester has at least one scandalous controversy that divides and brings out the worst in us. I don’t claim to have a solution, but whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I turn to Book 2 of Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations. Or, I just think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport and sip on a Baileys hot chocolate.
   
2. The fundamental attribution error. Take an intro Psychology class or Google it. I won’t explain the FAE here, but I’ll share my method for correcting it: any time you start to pass judgment on a person, count to ten and put yourself in their shoes. Don’t just assume that someone is a dick; consider the possibility he just bombed his final exam and feels like shit, or that he’s angry at the world because he was up all night breaking up with his girlfriend. It’s natural to make assumptions about a person’s character without considering their circumstances. Take the time to think, and I promise it will make you a happier and more empathetic person.
3. I know it’s cliché, but the Core really is fantastic. I didn’t fully appreciate it during my CC and Lit Hum years, but by junior spring in Music Hum things started to click. I’m not exaggerating when I say that Music Hum (s/o to Alex Mincek) changed my life. Discovering that music could be so powerful and complex seemed to flip a switch upstairs; I realized that there’s so much more out there left to learn and understand. Everyone says the Core teaches us how to think, although I disagree. “Thinking” isn’t something that can be taught in just four years. I believe the Core teaches us that we can think, and that our lives and our worlds are worth thinking about.

Back in my day… JJ’s Place operated on Dining Dollars and had a convenience store that sold milk, ramen noodles, and cookies. Combine that with the dining hall, CrackDel delivery, and an entire floor of friends, and you could theoretically spend the entire semester without leaving John Jay. You would fail all of your attendance-based classes of course, but I’m sure any reasonable instructor would let you Skype into LitHum if you asked/bribed them.

On a more serious note: we didn’t have 2Chainz, Trinidad James, or trap music. It was a different time, you understand.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I may not leave behind a city of marble, but I try to make things better when I can. If I can create more smiles than frowns, that’s worth something.

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Sakina Pasha

Welcome Sakina Pasha, who provided you with both baked goods and wristbands.

Name, Hometown, School: Sakina A Pasha, Phoenix/Las Vegas/LA, Barnard College

Claim to fame? Just received the honor of being on the cover of Barnard Magazine the semester I graduated, which means my face is awkwardly in peoples mailboxes, on coffee tables, and recycling bins (STOP THROWING AWAY RECYCLABLES-YOU WILL KILL THE POLAR BEARS). I’m President of Knickerbocker Motorsports (Formula SAE)- the AWESOME racecar team on campus, I’m OBSESSED with SGA and been involved with it for 4 years, I’ve been an intro bio TA for two years,I ended up getting 2nd place in assassins being disavowed the entire game, with no one alive on my team, and without killing anyone *cough* greg duchard you died before spring break and claiming to kill someone who is in charge of checking tickets during the Hoodie Allen concert is BS and not a real kill *cough* and I can usually be found in the cadlab/basement of mudd or lying on my floor eating cookies

Where are you going? BACK TO THE SUNSHINE (aka the west coast) to get my Vitamin D on and possibly do ALL THE PASTRY CHEFING before saving the world :)

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. Don’t judge people. It might be sappy and cliche to say, but there is no one on this campus who isn’t meant to be here. Whether someones presence helps you to appreciate things in your life more because you see how much they suck, or because you meet someone who is the nicest human being on the planet, everyone you interact with impacts your life, be it in a big or small way and whether you like it or not. So take the time to learn about someones life story, GO TO CAMPUS EVENTS (4 COUNCIL EVENTS ROCK), get involved with a variety of things some of my best friends are from GSSC and 3/2ers from SEAS, take advantage of the knowledge and passion that people around campus have for things. this school is full of some of the most amazing people you will ever be in the presence of, probably including yourself.
   
2. Appreciate and contribute to the experience. From four years of intense observation I have found that I can see about 72 stars from the ledge on the steps on a clear night. Take the time to stop, breathe, observe, and appreciate where you go to school and the people you go to school with. Thank the faculty, staff, and administration when you get the chance, and consider how much it actually takes to run an institution. Its simple to put blame on the people in charge, but honestly by trolling you’re not helping anyone or furthering an argument that hasnt been made or been overturned. Don’t waste your time, energy, or internet space talking smack with no intention of picking up the slack.
3. Engage. You can’t do everything on campus and in the city and there is no perfect balance or formula that can help you have the perfect college experience; but if you don’t get involved, meet people, and really engage, you’re wasting a lot of your time, money, and your life. You have the chance to work with some of them most capable people you will ever come across or work and explore in a city of opportunity, so take advantage of it and enjoy your time while you still can, because once the word graduate is attached to your name, the perks of being a college kid dissolve almost immediately.

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Carolyn Ruvkun

Bwog-wisdom’s back: Carolyn Ruvkun, former creative editor and provider of good feelings, both on Bwog and in general.

Name, Hometown, School: Carolyn Ruvkun, NYC, Columbia College

Claim to Fame? Nightline, Puppy Coalition, green flags, Bwog tags.

Where are you going? Home to cuddle with my dog, play the piano, and procrastinate from becoming a real person reflect. I need some chill time that’s not just confined to scattered guilty hours between various commitments crowding my planner. That’s all been very exciting and productive, but now it’s time to process.

And maybe I’ll eventually start a Jewish food truck called Knish & Tell.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

• 1. I’ve come to respect my parents so much more professionally, but I’ve also seen their emotional vulnerabilities in ways I didn’t recognize when I lived with them. Some of my most important conversations over the past four years have been with people in my family who have divulged their own struggles. Caring for and comforting your elders can seem like a jarring inversion of some natural order. But these difficult moments have made my family relationships feel more reciprocal and real. In short, call your bubbe.
• 2. Sit in the front row, so you won’t be distracted by the ridiculousness that appears on other people’s computer screens. I once witnessed a girl ordering a Vajazzling kit during lecture. She pulled out her credit card and everything.
• 3. If you turn on Netflix subtitles, you can understand the words while eating pretzels.

Back in my day…I thought I knew a lot more than I really did. But the more I learned, the more I realized how little I know. I’m leaving Columbia with few answers but better questions. Get comfortable feeling uncomfortable. After all, college shouldn’t validate your existing knowledge but put it in perspective.

Also, I went to H&H every Sunday morning for the best bagels in New York, crossing signs had words instead of pictures, hashtags and gifs didn’t exist, and seniors seemed very old.

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Constance Boozer

Name, Hometown, School: Constance Boozer; Jackson, Mississippi; Columbia College

Claim to fame? I engaged in CPRevelry and oversaw the transformation of countless U-Writing essays into articles as the EIC of the Columbia Political Review, coined the phrase Jim Yong Kim is “a rapping spaceman,” covered and broke some nom-nom-nom news in MoHi, was that girl from Alabama, and even had my unparalleled poster holding skills documented in the Staten Island Advance.

Where are you going? For the summer, I have a job as a researcher in NYC for a group that advocates for gun policy reform. In September, I’m shipping off to math camp as I start to earn my Masters of Public Policy in the birthplace of politics (Chicago). After that graduation, I am hoping to mosey onto a campaign during the 2016 election cycle.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

• 1) Many times success requires taking risks and a willingness to fail in your endeavors. If you have not literally and metaphorically tripped and fallen on your ass a few times, you have not truly taken advantage of what Columbia and what life have to offer.
• 2) It’s ok to hate Columbia at times. It’s not ok to ignore the reasons why you hate Columbia. If walking around campus does not give you some sense of joy on a semi-regular basis, it’s time to figure out what makes you happy and shake up your life a little. You may have an intense hatred of in-class exams and blue books. (In that case, choose seminars over lectures). You may enjoy going below 110th street every once in a while. (In that case, intern, work, volunteer, befriend more people who venture off campus, etc.). And you may prefer not having mice in your room. (Not much you can do about that one. A possible course of action is putting food in a trashcan to lure the mouse into the receptacle and then cover the brim with a Milano bag until the rodent stops jumping. It is safe to assume that said creature is now deceased. I’ll leave it up to you to figure out how to get it out of the dorm). In short, awareness of how you best function and being proactive about maintaining those parameters is a road to happiness in any environment – especially Columbia.
• 3) Electrolytes are your friend. To work, to try, and to play hard – chug a bottle of Gatorade every day.

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I hate white wine.

Name, Hometown, School: Alex; Lenexa, KS; CC

Claim to fame? JJ12 OG. I’m convinced that my dorm room was featured in V117. I may be partially responsible for making Bwog blindingly white.

Where are you going? Slightly south. I’ll be living on the UWS as I work in the city. Some kind souls saw fit to provide me with gainful employment. Maybe I’ll knock off some of those red zeros that follow the negative sign on Mint.com.

Three things I learned at Columbia:

1. To love the Core. It’s not exhaustive, and it’s not perfect, but it has no such pretensions (or at least shouldn’t). What people most often mistake when criticizing the Core is that the curriculum is not intended to cover certain, critical subjects so much as it is designed to introduce and develop modes of thought (philosophical, literary, musical, etc.). I may be wrong, but the western bias isn’t so much essential as it is convenient. We should embrace the exercise on its own merit, and then seek to apply whatever we take away in all other areas.
2. To embrace ambiguity. I loved my philosophy professors and history classes, but I’m pretty sure that the two years of German language classes I took were the most impactful from a non-intellectual standpoint. Against all intellectual inclination, we must sometimes discard well-devised plans and allow ourselves to be subject to the whimsy of chance.
3. That life isn’t graded. There is significant value to what we learn in terms of subject matter and intellectual skill in the classroom, but at graduation all you get is a fancy piece of paper (but not actually) and a fraction to list somewhere on your resume. While at Columbia, what is vastly more important is how you engage with the community and define your place inside it. During NSOP, we were inducted into a great community of students, staff, faculty, and administrators. Learning how to best service that community is a challenge on par with any you can find in a classroom.

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Claire Sabel

The next Bwogger to pass through the gates of wisdom: Claire Sabel: legend, hero, and former Editor in Chief.

Name, Hometown, School: Claire Sabel, London (UK), CC

Claim to fame? Aspiring polymath, least likely to have run a marathon, Editor of Bwog 2010-11.

Where are you going? Back to Butler, baby. I’ve found a wonderful intellectual mentor in my thesis advisor, who’s agreed to take me on as a research assistant for the time being, so I’ll be around campus this summer, when I’m not in Long Island City speculating about the future. After that, my dream is to take to the parks as an urban ranger (seriously) somewhere in NYC, though it seems a bit inevitable that I’ll eventually end up in graduate school, studying the history of science.

3 things you learned at Columbia:

• 1) Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Fear of being ignorant will only breed more ignorance. You’re much more intelligent, and know a lot less, than you think you are/do. This isn’t just about the classroom—which brings me to my next point.
• 2) Learn from each other. The most enriching conversations I’ve had took place in my suite, at 1020, on the subway, in office hours, reading Senior Wisdoms and Bwog comments. School is as relevant as you make it. It’s not the only thing, but you should make the most of it by engaging it with all the other things. Talk to your professors about what’s going on in your life, not just about homework. Get excited about your friends extracurricular frivolities. Turn off your phone and go exploring.
• 3) Relationships, whether social, intellectual, romantic, professional, or with your self (don’t forget this one!) require work, deliberation, and attention. Cultivate them, and appreciate them. Live with people you don’t know, but would like to. Make standing appointments, and establish rituals that incorporate generous helpings of coffee and Die Antwoord.
• 4) I still have no idea what my priorities are but I know that I have some. It’s okay if you don’t have them all worked out, but don’t leave them unconsidered.

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Logan Donovan

Here’s Logan Donovan, who Athletics should really get in contact with. Congratulations!

Name, Hometown, School: Logan Donovan; Nellysford, VA and New York, NY; SEAS CS

Claim to fame? I was on ESC and spent most of my time doing policy work. I co-wrote Columbia’s Medical Amnesty Policy, got the undergraduate schools to come together, and pushed for pass/fail for non-technical electives in SEAS.

Where are you going? Right now I am traveling around the country for the summer skydiving to make up for all of the jumps I didn’t do during the school year. Starting in September I will be working at a startup called pingMD as a software developer here in the city. Looking forward to finally having time to hang out with everyone who will still be in the city since I never had time during school.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. There are far too many amazing clubs to participate in or awesome people to meet here; you have to be deliberate about your time. Do your best to talk to your friends and watch school events to see what is available. If something seems interesting try it out. If you don’t make a concerted effort, the semester will have flown by and you’ll still be wishing that you had gotten involved. That being said, you only have so much time, choose wisely.
   
2. The people are the most amazing thing about this school. This place is very stressful; we even won an award for it, though their methodology is extremely questionable. When everything starts getting to you remember that your friends are there for even if you think you are just bothering them. Chances are everyone around you is feeling the same way and you’ll remember all of the late night conversations and adventures that you’ll have way more than whatever work you were doing.
3. a. SEAS has an odd place at Columbia. We don’t overlap in coursework with any of the other schools, which I think allows us to duck some of the bigger tensions that exist between the schools. We end being proverbially patted on the head by other students who say it’s cute that you never leave Mudd. While we are in one of the undergraduate schools, in reality we are not separated from the graduate school of engineering in a meaningful way, especially when it comes to junior and senior classes. In some ways this is good things because we get more research opportunities but the mixing of students often creates a lot more tension in the end, despite what people say everyone does care about grades. Talk to your professors, TAs, and especially other students. Don’t let anything take away from your classes. Buckle down, find a few people in your class and hang out while you do your work. Debating problems with them will teach you far more than you would have learned in class and you won’t feel as isolated here. There is also a fine line between discussing a problem and telling someone how to do it, don’t cross it. You aren’t doing yourself any favors by not actually learning the material.

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Allie Curry

For the first Senior Wisdom on this Commencement Day, we bring you the wonderful Allie Curry, senior editor at The Blue and White.

Name, Hometown, School: Allie Curry; Bismarck, North Dakota; Columbia College

Claim to fame? I like words. Acquaintances most often call me out for arguing against Helen, that yes, you should tap that. 

n.b.: I was right.

Where are you going?  “Avenue of the Americas” and the early 50s by way of Bed-Stuy. I started work three weeks ago—does that mean I’ve already arrived? Also: since when do people pay me for my hard work? Asking for a friend.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. Conversational French/Spanish/Poststructuralist (literary) theory
2. Television can be intelligent.
3. Irony is a mechanism by which my friends and I deflect or diminish our our own emotions—which are TERRIFYING, but also mean something, and therefore, should be trusted.

Back in my day… Swine Flu was a thing and people listened to music featuring acoustic instruments. Trader Joe’s on 72nd didn’t exist, the distinction between leggings and pants was so much clearer, and WE DIDN’T KNOW THERE WOULD BE ANOTHER ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT SEASON. I’VE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE: HISTORY IS PROGRESSIVE, GUYS!!!!

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I find James Franco’s handshake weak.

Write a CU Admirers post to anyone or anything at Columbia: @AjayChaudhary and students of CC, section 54: I was dumb not to say anything in class for like most of the year, because you guys actually changed my life. And I didn’t even get the Star Trek references. Radiohead, though.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Cheese. NEXT.

One thing to do before graduating: Give yourself a deadline of two weeks. Enlist no more than three or four friends and dedicate your underage selves, earnestly, to finishing at least half of a box of Franzia each in those two weeks. Acceptable applications: V-Show, Bacchanal, Club Butler (“New York’s hottest club is…”) and your term paper, John Jay, etc.

Any regrets? Oh my god, I have a million regrets, very few of which are worth articulating in the space of this post. Trite, but I should have made several friends sooner; I should have drank more; I should have shat on the Upper Midwest less. Since we’re on the subject, as of late, I’ve been repping Joan Didion’s Slouching Towards Bethlehem hard. By way of oversharing “On Keeping a Notebook”, I think she’s right:

“I think we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind’s door at 4 a.m. of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends. We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget. We forget the loves and the betrayals alike, forget what we whispered and what we screamed, forget who we were.”

Remember your past selves, allow for change, and make your memories with others. Best of luck, guys.

Today was Commencement for the entire University, where all graduates were made official and all deans made nerdy inside jokes about their schools.  Read on for memorable quotes, pictures, and videos.

Remember: tonight the Empire State Building will be lit up Columbia blue and white. And more importantly, Bwog is proud of you.

PrezBo:

• “It is a well-known fact: the smarter you are, the more you can procrastinate.”
• “I sometimes imagine I’m president of a dating service.”
• “Being at a university means never saying ‘well that’s just what I believe.’” … “Imagine how different the world would be if people entered conversations willing to change their opinion.”
• “I believe no generation has faced a world with more promise than yours right now.”
• “I hope you will always remain the brilliant students you have been with us.”

Deantini: “The pen is mightier than the sword, but we know Columbia College students are mighty good with both the pen and the sword.”

Goldean: “They are the hardhatted, hammer-waving students who will lead the world in engineering and applied sciences.”

DSpar: “The brilliant, the bold, the dazzling, and the ever beautiful women of Barnard College.”

Dean Awn: “These students are deeply indebted…..to the faculty!”

George L. Van Amson (Chair of CAA): “Stand Columbia as Columbia stands with you.”

Pics and vids after the jump

Happy graduates and that guy’s head.

Fortunately, PrezBo’s hair weathered the extreme heat of today’s College graduation ceremonies. A little after 9:30 am today, the class of 2013 marched with their gowns sticking to their sweaty under thighs. The Salutatorian, Yoshiaki Ko, made the first speech of the morning, discussing the “nexus” that Low Steps become when it’s nice out and the intellectual and social connectedness of the student body and the university at large. Terrence McNally, class of ’60, proceeded to give the Keynote address (highlights are after the jump). After student awards, Deantini urged the class of 2013 to “remember the imperative, ‘Roar, Lion, Roar,” and PrezBo promised to keep it brief in light of his speech for tomorrow’s University Commencement. Class President, Ryan Mandelbaum, started his speech by taking a selfie at the podium and provided insights on his freshman self’s “shearling lined Crocs.” Hands were shook, pins were given and names were read, the last of which was “Beyoncé Knowles” (this actually happened) which is apparently the proper phonetic pronunciation of Meriam Raouf‘s name. You know it’s unbelievable when a parenthetical disclaimer is necessary. Congrats CC 2013! (more…)

Josh Johnson

Name, Hometown, School: Josh Johnson; Uniondale, NY; Columbia College

Claim to fame? Co-chairman of the Black Student’s Group Consortium (shoutouts to my brothers and sisters in the struggle, cuz it’s real), Uris Pool Lifeguard, and Intramural Champion (I go hard in the paint!). Also my partying skills are legendary, I’ve perfected ancient the art of the fist-pump and my turn up is just mean bruh!

Where are you going? I’m heading back to Strong Island for the summer to study for the MCAT, which means I’m going to med school…someway/somehow. After that, I’ll hopefully be recharging my batteries on the crystal clear beaches of my not-so-distant homeland, Jamaica.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. Speak up. Let’s face it Columbia is far from perfect. When issues arise in academic or social settings we should be vocal about our emotions and demand better from classmates, faculty, admin, etc. There’s no shame in being “that kid” in class who always brings up racism, sexism, classism and whatever other –isms exist. Chances are you are not alone in your experiences here at Columbia and the more you speak up the more encourage others to do the same.
   
2. Make your own path. Being a part of the rat race is just no fun. Take the time out to be an individual and to appreciate your differences. Yeah I’m pre-med but I’ve never set foot in a lab outside the few I was required to take for class and I’m also an Ethnicity & Race major. I managed to find multiple ways in which I could mix my love of medicine with my interests in all those –isms I spoke about before. Basically though, you just gotta do you.
3. Appreciate the little things. This is probably something that has been/will be reiterated by most of my fellow seniors. Savor every moment you spend with friends outside of class or Butler. Don’t be afraid to spend that extra hour in the dining hall, take that last minute trip downtown, or skip a few classes to chill on the steps.

Back in my day… $500 dining dollars was a thing. Having an Ethernet cord for Internet access was absolutely necessary. We had at least one minority/female Dean of either CC or SEAS. Courseworks looked like a website straight up out the year 1996. Frat Row actually had fraternities on it. Deantini was teaching us how to use the periodic table.

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