Written by Victoria Arancio
With break having come and gone, syllabus week is the perfect time to reflect. Our little time without school work and obligations gave Bwog the perfect opportunity to have some fun. Here’s some of the highlights from Bwog’s break!
Bwog gets sick
This is the first week of campus, which means both an abundance of syllabi and an abundance of performing arts auditions. If you were at the CUPAL kickoff last night, you heard representatives from all of the groups talking about these auditions in person, but if you missed it, Bwog has your back. Find out everything happening in Hamilton this week below.
If you’ve been living under a rock (or inside a concrete bunker) for the last few days, you may not have heard about the fake missile threat that was accidentally activated in Hawaii, prompting a notification on everyone’s phone. That got me thinking about how I would have no idea what to do in that scenario if I was on campus. Here’s what I came up with:
Burn your LitHum books on Low Beach
In the last few minutes of existence as a body and not as a dust of microscopic particles, it’s always best to give in to the most animalistic of human urges. A good ol’ fashioned book burning is always fun, so show the cisheteronormative patriarchal core how you really feel about its bullshit. Leave Sappho out of it, though.
Get lit with your professor in office hours
Societal structure always breaks down in apocalyptic scenarios; therefore, there’s nothing stopping you from partying away your last few minutes with your favorite professor or your favorite TA. Choose your playlist wisely, you don’t want to spend your last time on earth listening to Ed Sheeran.
Actually find shelter, if you want to fight off radioactive zombies
Look, I just don’t have the work ethic to survive in a post-apocalyptic environment; some days I’m too lazy to literally take an elevator downstairs and eat food that’s just waiting out on a table. But, if you think you have a shot, maybe try prying open some of the doors to the hidden tunnels or figuring out how to get to the Manhattan Project levels beneath Pupin. Athletes, beautiful people, Walking Dead fans: I suggest this option.
Binge-watch Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix at 863x speeds
There’s 301 episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, with each being around 43 minutes long. Therefore, in order to watch them all in 15 minutes, you’d have to speed each of them up to 863 times their normal speed. So experience love, loss, grief, and… doctor stuff, I guess, in the time you have left. (Author’s note: I have never seen an episode of Grey’s Anatomy)
Grab the nearest person and head to the Butler stacks
You gotta. Enough said.
In the beginning, there was class. Out of the chaos, professors materialized and said ridiculous things in order to keep your attention. Like the Greek myths of old, a professor’s opening lecture is meant to enthrall you and make you believe in something larger than yourself. However, unlike those Greek myths, these opening remarks were probably contemplated over a Panda Express tray rather than delicately crafted through centuries of oral tradition.
Bwog wants to know all the delightfully weird remarks that professors throw out during syllabus week, from red flags to random anecdotes. Send them in to email@example.com, or carve them into the would-be marble of the comments section below.
Are you invited to approximately 900 student productions on Facebook every semester? Do you spend chilly weekend mornings in midtown rushing Broadway shows? Have you ever read a Bwog arts review and thought, “Wow, I could do so much better?” If you answered yes to any of those questions, we have the position for you.
Bwog is currently seeking a new Arts Editor, to help us get more in touch with our artistic side. In the interest of improving our relationships with performing arts groups on campus, we’ve opened up applications beyond Bwog’s current staff and are hoping to find a new Arts Editor who is already connected to the performing arts community. However, there are no requirements for the position; anyone with writing skills and an interest in the arts is welcome to apply.
The basic responsibilities of the Arts Editor are as follows:
The application is embedded below, and can also be found here. Applications are due at 11:59 pm on Friday, January 26, and should be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org in the form of a Google doc or .PDF document titled “*First Name* App.”
Any questions can be directed to email@example.com or asked in person at our first open meeting of the semester this coming Sunday, January 21.
Our favorite street via Public domain pictures
Happening Around The World: Danish inventor Peter Madsen has been charged with the murder of Kim Wall, a journalist and Columbia Journalism School alumnus. (CNN)
Happening In The US: Two of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s children spoke out against President Trump, who has claimed to be “the least racist person you have ever interviewed.” (New York Times)
Happening In NYC: If you’ve been craving the taste of forearm-salt, you’re in luck because beloved Internet meme Salt Bae, real name Nusret Gokce, has opened a steakhouse in NYC. (NBC)
Happening At Columbia: Good luck to everyone on their first day of spring semester classes today!
Bop of the Day:
Late this evening, we received news that Barnard senior Caroline Montgomery has passed away. Caroline and her father, Mark Montgomery, died in the mudslides in her hometown of Santa Barbara, California.
A psychology major, Caroline also kindled a deep love for the world of fashion, finding her stride in companies such as Coterique, Topshop, NYLON, and KITH. In the Columbia community, she involved herself in the Water Polo Club team and demonstrated her passion for writing through contributions to Barnard’s fashion publication, Hoot Magazine, as well as Bwog itself.
During her tenure at Bwog in 2015, Montgomery took on the duties of both a Thursday daily editor and an SGA Bureau Chief, managing the stories on our site every Thursday alongside covering the SGA meetings for Bwog every week. On Bwog, she gave us witty advice on what to wear, reviewed several art exhibitions, and wrote about Fashion Week in her Bwoglines. One fellow Bwogger described her as “sweet” and always having “excellent style.” Many more of her articles may be found through her author tag.
As relayed by Dean Hinkson’s email, “students who are in need of support or counseling, please do not hesitate to reach out to family, friends, or your Residential Life staff. The staff members in the Furman Counseling Center (barnard.edu/counsel, 212-854-2092) and Dean of Studies office (barnard.edu/dos, 212-854-2024) are also available either in person or by phone. As many of you have not returned to campus yet, we will be holding a listening session on Tuesday, January 16 in the Dean’s Office from 7-9 p.m. (105 Milbank Hall) for those who wish to gather.”
Our deepest condolences go to Caroline’s family and her friends.
It is now a full two weeks since Columbia’s last day of finals. That’s fourteen days, or 336 hours, or 20,160 minutes. That’s… a whole lot of time. And yet, so many of our professors still haven’t graded our final exams, papers, and projects. You have the time, you don’t have anything better to do, so what gives? Get those red pens going and input our final grades already!
In particular, we want to call out:
If any other professor is holding out on you, comment their name and class on this post and we’ll add them to the list.
What Columbia looks like right now via Wikimedia Commons
Tags: almost put a linguistics prof on here but he got his grades in this morning, callout, if you're a barnard student who didn't do course evals and hasn't gotten ANY grades yet... we're sorry, prezbei wouldn't do this to us, professors, snowed in, what do profs even do during winter break, what gives?
Last night, GS/JTS students were informed of the passing of Hannah Weiss, a sophomore in the dual program between Columbia’s School of General Studies and JTS’s Albert A. List College. Hannah and her family died in a plane crash in Costa Rica on Sunday afternoon. Hannah hails from Saint Petersburg, Florida, and found a home on campus within the Columbia/Barnard Hillel community.
Hannah Weiss was passionate about protecting the planet through environment conservation, and developed and lead composting initiatives at JTS. According to Shuly Rubin Schwartz, Walter & Sarah Schlesinger Dean of Graduate and Undergraduate Studies Irving Lehrman Research Associate Professor of American Jewish History at JTS, Hannah was, “a wonderful student, great, friend, strong leader, and a beloved member of our community… She will be sorely missed.”
The Office of the University Chaplain is currently on call for students seeking support. The Barnard Office of the Dean of Studies and Residential Life will re-open on Wednesday, January 3, at 9 am. Barnard Primary Health Care services will re-open on Monday, January 8, and the Furman counseling center will resume clinical hours the next week. More details on these resources are available below, in the text of the email informing Barnard students of Hannah’s passing. Although CC and SEAS students did not receive a similar email, resources are available for them on campus and via phone as well.
Our deepest condolences go to Hannah’s family and her friends.
UPDATE, 9:15 pm: A memorial service will be held for Hannah and her family at 1 pm on Wednesday, January 3, at Tiferet Bet Israel (1920 Skippack Pike, Blue Bell, PA, 19422). Shivah will be observed at the home of Sandy and Ed Levin (175 Birkdale Drive, Blue Bell, PA, 19422) on Wednesday and Thursday from 6 to 8:30 pm, with a minyan each night at 7 pm. An additional memorial service will be held in Florida on Monday, January 8; more details will be forthcoming on the Columbia/Barnard Hillel Facebook page.
Earlier this morning, we received notice that Columbia College sophomore Gage Bellitto has passed away as a result of an opioid overdose. Gage had transferred to CC this fall from Bates College, and was a resident of Carlton Arms. A lifetime resident of Bronxville, he was a 2016 graduate of Bronxville High School and played on the Varsity Baseball Team.
In Dean Valentini’s email to CC and SEAS students, he passed along information from Gage’s family: the family will be receiving visitors today (December 29), at the Fred H. McGrath & Son Funeral Home in Bronxville, NY from w to 4 pm and 6 to 8 pm, and will hold the Mass of Christian Burial on tomorrow (Saturday, December 30) at the Church of St. Joseph’s in Bronxville, NY at 10:45 am.
“I encourage you to rely on your family and friends for support, whether you are on-campus or traveling, as well as to take advantage of local resources as needed,” Dean Valentini wrote. Counselors and advisors from Columbia CPS, Health Services, the Office of the University Chaplain, and the Berick Center for Student Advising all have extended on-call hours through Tuesday, January 2, and will have regular hours in effect after that. More details on all of these services are included later in this post. In addition, students on still on campus can reach out to Residential Life staff; on-call information is posted in residence halls.
Our deepest condolences go to Gage’s family and friends.
So much happened this semester, from protests of CUCR speakers to sexual assault scandals to marching band victories. As you head home for winter break (or finish up your last final paper), take a moment to relive it all with our bi-annual semester in review.
To start the new semester, we decided to change up our Bwoglines format so that it now includes national and international news. The dirty Carman that we remember got an unexpected upgrade (or at least, some of it did). Spec was forced to leave their 111th street office, and later moved to Riverside Church. Suzanne Goldberg and Barnard’s new president, Sian Beilock, ensured the protection of undocumented students’ physical safety and personal information.
Bwog does videos now! Barnard students are only allowed in JJ’s until 1 am. We tried to brainstorm ways to handle being trapped in a hurricane during one of the worst seasons in history. We investigated the new Halloween pop-up store on Broadway and found some pretty creepy things. Before Columbia Crushes, there was Barnard/Columbia Missed Connections. Law and Order: SVU also decided that 1020 was worth having on their show. We tested Columbia students to see how much they really know about their university. Ferris started cracking down with a new bouncer. Apparently there was a gorilla in the package center?
Written by Senior Wisdom
This Senior Wisdom is from Bridgette Tolbert, WBAR star and one of the finest photographers on Bwog’s Social Media Team.
Name, School, Major, Hometown: Bridgette Tolbert. Columbia College. Economics. Los Angeles, California!
Claim to fame: Starbucks addict and host of “Bridgette” on WBAR!
Where are you going? I’m taking a much needed vacay and then coming back to New York to work on some passion projects.
What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2021?
1. Whatever happens to you happens for you. Learn from the highs and the lows and know that you can handle anything that comes your way.
2. Try out anything and everything and don’t be afraid to step away from something if it doesn’t make you happy.
3. You have a lot more power in this community than you may think. If you think that could be changed or improved, don’t just complain about it. Set up a meeting with the appropriate person and share your ideas! You’ll never know where that could take you.
“Back in my day…” KDR parties were always packed and Cannon’s existed/was the best campus bar.
Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: Before we filmed this segment, Wendy Williams (one of my faves) told me that if she had a daughter she’d want her to be just like me.
What was your favorite class at Columbia? I have so many! Drugs and Behavior with Dr. Carl Hart, Economics of Life with Professor Daniel Hamermesh, Inequalities of U.S. Law and Society with Professor John Salyer, Principles of Econ/Sports Economics with Professor Sunil Gulati, Introduction to African-American Studies with Professor Josef Sorett and the Modern Caribbean with Professor Natasha Lightfoot.
Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? What would Rihanna do?
One thing to do before graduating: Drink a Smirnoff Ice in PrezBo’s mansion.
Any regrets? The times I stopped fighting for myself, any time I did not shoot my shot, and definitely that time I won a Columbia crewneck from CSSC my freshman year and forgot to pick it up ☹
Also, I didn’t know what a Canada Goose was before I arrived on campus in 2014 which I definitely regret because they used to sell a pink version of the Kensington Parka which I totally would have purchased because pink is my favorite color and it honestly would have changed my life.
Photo via Bridgette Tolbert
You’re at the holiday/end of the semester party for a club that you’ve been at least tangentially a part of all semester. You’ve showed up to at least a couple meetings and you can definitely name at least half the people in this room…at least a quarter of the people in this room. Before you can think about that for too long, your friend drags you over to the drinks and starts handing you one right after the other.
Before the hour’s out, you’re down five shots of peppermint vodka in the name of being “festive” and you can barely stand. With your friend’s help, you stumble over to an unoccupied chair shoved in a corner. You don’t know it at the time, but this will be your home for the rest of the night. The rest of the party plays out before you like a holiday play; even in your drunken stupor, you know exactly how it will end, but you have no idea how you’re going to get there.
“All I Want For Christmas Is You” starts playing. You aren’t sure this is the type of song you’re supposed to twerk to, but some people who definitely shouldn’t be testing that hypothesis are. You try to look away, but it’s like watching a train wreck (or someone trying to consume an entire bowl of Ferris pasta). Luckily, it looks like there’s a small crowd taking a video in the corner, so others will be forced to feel your pain via Snapchat story.
Written by Senior Wisdom
Hannah Lindsey’s Senior Wisdom has some worthy advice, but the bulk of it is devoted to oral sex v. cheese in one of the most involved analyses we’ve ever seen.
Name, School, Major, Hometown: Hannah Lindsey; Columbia College; English; Houston, TX.
Claim to fame: Only spending 2.5 years on Columbia campus, almost all of it in the Writers House lounge. Also, editing sex novels.
Where are you going? Home! For a couple years, anyway.
What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2021?
1. Find a place to take a bath.
2. Study abroad.
3. Write it down.
“Back in my day…” Cannons, Bacchanal, no fried macaroni and cheese at JJ’s.
Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: Someone out there in the world has probably masturbated to a novel I helped shape. You’re welcome.
Written by Sarah Harty
Hanukkah’s already over and it’s fewer than 100 hours until Christmas, but some poor, unfortunate souls are still taking finals. If this applies to you, stay strong. This is the end.
Bwogline: A car has rammed into pedestrians in Melbourne, in what police are calling a deliberate, but not terror-related, attack. So far, several injuries but no deaths have been reported. (CNN)
Study Tip: Go old-school and sleep on your dictionary, which is probably more comfortable than your mattress after the topper slid off and you were too lazy to fix it. For STEM majors, use a literal, physical hard drive.
Procrastination Tip: Watch all the stuff leaving Netflix in 2018, including Mean Girls and Pulp Fiction. Also ponder whose brilliant idea it was to remove Love, Actually in November and put it back on in January.
Music: An astro final is today, so take in some tunes from the Starman.
Overseen: A look of pure awe on a kid’s face at The Nutcracker as the tree grew. Extremely cute and nostalgia inducing.
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