Sakina Pasha

Welcome Sakina Pasha, who provided you with both baked goods and wristbands.

Name, Hometown, School: Sakina A Pasha, Phoenix/Las Vegas/LA, Barnard College

Claim to fame? Just received the honor of being on the cover of Barnard Magazine the semester I graduated, which means my face is awkwardly in peoples mailboxes, on coffee tables, and recycling bins (STOP THROWING AWAY RECYCLABLES-YOU WILL KILL THE POLAR BEARS). I’m President of Knickerbocker Motorsports (Formula SAE)- the AWESOME racecar team on campus, I’m OBSESSED with SGA and been involved with it for 4 years, I’ve been an intro bio TA for two years,I ended up getting 2nd place in assassins being disavowed the entire game, with no one alive on my team, and without killing anyone *cough* greg duchard you died before spring break and claiming to kill someone who is in charge of checking tickets during the Hoodie Allen concert is BS and not a real kill *cough* and I can usually be found in the cadlab/basement of mudd or lying on my floor eating cookies

Where are you going? BACK TO THE SUNSHINE (aka the west coast) to get my Vitamin D on and possibly do ALL THE PASTRY CHEFING before saving the world :)

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. Don’t judge people. It might be sappy and cliche to say, but there is no one on this campus who isn’t meant to be here. Whether someones presence helps you to appreciate things in your life more because you see how much they suck, or because you meet someone who is the nicest human being on the planet, everyone you interact with impacts your life, be it in a big or small way and whether you like it or not. So take the time to learn about someones life story, GO TO CAMPUS EVENTS (4 COUNCIL EVENTS ROCK), get involved with a variety of things some of my best friends are from GSSC and 3/2ers from SEAS, take advantage of the knowledge and passion that people around campus have for things. this school is full of some of the most amazing people you will ever be in the presence of, probably including yourself.
   
2. Appreciate and contribute to the experience. From four years of intense observation I have found that I can see about 72 stars from the ledge on the steps on a clear night. Take the time to stop, breathe, observe, and appreciate where you go to school and the people you go to school with. Thank the faculty, staff, and administration when you get the chance, and consider how much it actually takes to run an institution. Its simple to put blame on the people in charge, but honestly by trolling you’re not helping anyone or furthering an argument that hasnt been made or been overturned. Don’t waste your time, energy, or internet space talking smack with no intention of picking up the slack.
3. Engage. You can’t do everything on campus and in the city and there is no perfect balance or formula that can help you have the perfect college experience; but if you don’t get involved, meet people, and really engage, you’re wasting a lot of your time, money, and your life. You have the chance to work with some of them most capable people you will ever come across or work and explore in a city of opportunity, so take advantage of it and enjoy your time while you still can, because once the word graduate is attached to your name, the perks of being a college kid dissolve almost immediately.

Back in my day… The war on fun wasn’t managed via swipe access, tunnels were open, roofs weren’t overpopulated, and all my friends were older than I was.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I feel instant happiness from cooking and feeding people so I live to make all my friends chubs. I have probably spammed your fb with invitations for GHR or Tree Lighting, or gave you one of those BC/CC/GS/SEAS wristbands during homecoming week.

Write a CU Admirers post to anyone or anything at Columbia: To my wonderful FSAE family, thank you for four years of amazing racing, building, teaching, learning, and dedication to this team. Though many of you have challenged me more than anything else I have ever encountered, I doubt I would have survived college without you all. You all do not get nearly enough credit for the work you do, from the all nighters in the shop, to the endless time spent designing and redesigning the car, you all are phenomenal and have contributed to something far greater than a racecar, you’ve all built a legacy. This past year you all accomplished more than the team has in the past decade and I couldn’t be prouder! I can’t wait to see what you all do next year with the KMR14 at competition!! THANK YOU FOR BUILDING COOL ASS CARS!!! WITHOUT YOU, ALL THE BIDDIES WOULD BE LOST. #cookiegrams4life #becauseracecar #2ndplaceinCOST….ALSO, AYAN NASIR I LOVE YOU <3

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Despite my recent enlightenment about the joys of the absence of cheese from the lives of people who suffer from hypolactasia, I sadly don’t think I could ever give up something that can provide me as much pleasure in public that is socially-acceptable as cheese could.

One thing to do before graduating: Take the time to explore campus and the city. Stay up all night just talking to someone even if youre supposed to be finishing an assignment, don’t worry, you’ll get it done. Get to know at least one of your professors. Hang out with kids in Formula SAE! Join student government for at least one year. Don’t let the name of your college define your experience.

Any regrets? I wonder what my life would be like if I was as consistent with school as I am with my student activities involvement, said NO ONE EVER. Don’t forget that grades are just a letter and one assignment won’t destroy your future, but one experience or activity could open up a world of opportunity. I do, however, wish I had spent more time exploring the city and less time being afraid of the weather here #AZprobs

Carolyn Ruvkun

Bwog-wisdom’s back: Carolyn Ruvkun, former creative editor and provider of good feelings, both on Bwog and in general.

Name, Hometown, School: Carolyn Ruvkun, NYC, Columbia College

Claim to Fame? Nightline, Puppy Coalition, green flags, Bwog tags.

Where are you going? Home to cuddle with my dog, play the piano, and procrastinate from becoming a real person reflect. I need some chill time that’s not just confined to scattered guilty hours between various commitments crowding my planner. That’s all been very exciting and productive, but now it’s time to process.

And maybe I’ll eventually start a Jewish food truck called Knish & Tell.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

• 1. I’ve come to respect my parents so much more professionally, but I’ve also seen their emotional vulnerabilities in ways I didn’t recognize when I lived with them. Some of my most important conversations over the past four years have been with people in my family who have divulged their own struggles. Caring for and comforting your elders can seem like a jarring inversion of some natural order. But these difficult moments have made my family relationships feel more reciprocal and real. In short, call your bubbe.
• 2. Sit in the front row, so you won’t be distracted by the ridiculousness that appears on other people’s computer screens. I once witnessed a girl ordering a Vajazzling kit during lecture. She pulled out her credit card and everything.
• 3. If you turn on Netflix subtitles, you can understand the words while eating pretzels.

Back in my day…I thought I knew a lot more than I really did. But the more I learned, the more I realized how little I know. I’m leaving Columbia with few answers but better questions. Get comfortable feeling uncomfortable. After all, college shouldn’t validate your existing knowledge but put it in perspective.

Also, I went to H&H every Sunday morning for the best bagels in New York, crossing signs had words instead of pictures, hashtags and gifs didn’t exist, and seniors seemed very old.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I can’t, really. When I was 5, I asked my Mom if I was just a Barbie in someone else’s Dream House, so this redeeming an authentic existence thing has been plaguing me for a while.

Write a CU Admirers post to anyone or anything at Columbia: Nightline, thank you for teaching me how to listen and for making me feel heard. My most rewarding and devastating moments have happened on calls: the satisfaction of having a stranger on the other side of the line tell you they feel better, and the fear of not being able to help as much as I wish I could’ve. Callers, thank you for your courage. It’s heartbreaking to hear how isolated people feel in their struggles when usually I’ve talked to someone else who has gone through the exact same thing. Please know you deserve to feel awesome.

Honorable mensch-en to my Bayit family.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Depends on the consistency.

One thing to do before graduating: Stress can offer the necessary urgency to get shit done—you get gutsy when you’ve got your feet to the fire. Still, in excess it can be crippling. Some much wiser Nightline peeps taught me a trick to prepare yourself for those moments: dog-ear book passages you find uplifting, bookmark videos that make you laugh, or create a playlist of songs that make you wanna bust a move, so when self-doubt strikes you’ve already created a safety net. It’s valuable to reach out to others, but it’s crucial to find ways to support yourself. Give yourself routines, whether that means going to a weekly religious service, strumming your ukulele or folding your laundry like an adult. The clothes get wrinkled otherwise.

Any regrets? I regret that time I slid down the Butler banister and then smashed into a grad student carrying a stack of unstapled papers.

Constance Boozer

Name, Hometown, School: Constance Boozer; Jackson, Mississippi; Columbia College

Claim to fame? I engaged in CPRevelry and oversaw the transformation of countless U-Writing essays into articles as the EIC of the Columbia Political Review, coined the phrase Jim Yong Kim is “a rapping spaceman,” covered and broke some nom-nom-nom news in MoHi, was that girl from Alabama, and even had my unparalleled poster holding skills documented in the Staten Island Advance.

Where are you going? For the summer, I have a job as a researcher in NYC for a group that advocates for gun policy reform. In September, I’m shipping off to math camp as I start to earn my Masters of Public Policy in the birthplace of politics (Chicago). After that graduation, I am hoping to mosey onto a campaign during the 2016 election cycle.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

• 1) Many times success requires taking risks and a willingness to fail in your endeavors. If you have not literally and metaphorically tripped and fallen on your ass a few times, you have not truly taken advantage of what Columbia and what life have to offer.
• 2) It’s ok to hate Columbia at times. It’s not ok to ignore the reasons why you hate Columbia. If walking around campus does not give you some sense of joy on a semi-regular basis, it’s time to figure out what makes you happy and shake up your life a little. You may have an intense hatred of in-class exams and blue books. (In that case, choose seminars over lectures). You may enjoy going below 110th street every once in a while. (In that case, intern, work, volunteer, befriend more people who venture off campus, etc.). And you may prefer not having mice in your room. (Not much you can do about that one. A possible course of action is putting food in a trashcan to lure the mouse into the receptacle and then cover the brim with a Milano bag until the rodent stops jumping. It is safe to assume that said creature is now deceased. I’ll leave it up to you to figure out how to get it out of the dorm). In short, awareness of how you best function and being proactive about maintaining those parameters is a road to happiness in any environment – especially Columbia.
• 3) Electrolytes are your friend. To work, to try, and to play hard – chug a bottle of Gatorade every day.

Back in my day… Grabbing a slice of Pinnacle pizza was not necessarily behavior worthy of concern or judgment, buying groceries at JJs with Dining Dollars was a thing (at least for me), and installing Wi-Fi in John Jay was a supposedly impossible feat.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: Lit Hum, CC, and Nobility and Civility II have taught me that it is impossible to succinctly justify my existence. That being said, I’ll let history be the judge.

Write a CU Admirers post to anyone or anything at Columbia: You came, you studied, you partied, and now you’ve just graduated. Class of 2013 – you put me in absolute awe during Days on Campus, and I have never had more admiration, reverence, and respect for a group of individuals as I do now as we go our separate ways. There honestly are no limits to what my fellow classmates are capable of doing, and I cannot wait to see you defy the expectations of our imaginations. Congratulations!

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Columbia alum Clifton Fadiman once said, “Cheese is milk’s leap towards immortality.” In my humble opinion, Cheez-its is cheese’s leap towards immortality realized in vending machines in these days of modernity.

One thing to do before graduating: Talk to at least one individual you avoided/who avoided you as an awkward freshie/sophomore/junior/senior. Social competency is a gradual process, and everyone makes mistakes. I’m doing my best not to go all post-modern-y, but most of the time rudeness or avoidance on campus is just a product of miscommunication. When in doubt, just smile.

Any regrets? Of course, but that’s the only way we learn from life. My only real regrets are making the same mistakes twice. Like many before me, I regret not meeting more of you and not spending more time with the people I do know. If you ever bump into me, say hello. I’d like to meet you.

I hate white wine.

Name, Hometown, School: Alex; Lenexa, KS; CC

Claim to fame? JJ12 OG. I’m convinced that my dorm room was featured in V117. I may be partially responsible for making Bwog blindingly white.

Where are you going? Slightly south. I’ll be living on the UWS as I work in the city. Some kind souls saw fit to provide me with gainful employment. Maybe I’ll knock off some of those red zeros that follow the negative sign on Mint.com.

Three things I learned at Columbia:

1. To love the Core. It’s not exhaustive, and it’s not perfect, but it has no such pretensions (or at least shouldn’t). What people most often mistake when criticizing the Core is that the curriculum is not intended to cover certain, critical subjects so much as it is designed to introduce and develop modes of thought (philosophical, literary, musical, etc.). I may be wrong, but the western bias isn’t so much essential as it is convenient. We should embrace the exercise on its own merit, and then seek to apply whatever we take away in all other areas.
2. To embrace ambiguity. I loved my philosophy professors and history classes, but I’m pretty sure that the two years of German language classes I took were the most impactful from a non-intellectual standpoint. Against all intellectual inclination, we must sometimes discard well-devised plans and allow ourselves to be subject to the whimsy of chance.
3. That life isn’t graded. There is significant value to what we learn in terms of subject matter and intellectual skill in the classroom, but at graduation all you get is a fancy piece of paper (but not actually) and a fraction to list somewhere on your resume. While at Columbia, what is vastly more important is how you engage with the community and define your place inside it. During NSOP, we were inducted into a great community of students, staff, faculty, and administrators. Learning how to best service that community is a challenge on par with any you can find in a classroom.

Back in my day… 

• The College had a sharp, generous, fair, considered, eloquent, BAMF as Dean, and she didn’t insult the greatest liberal arts community in the world with darn-diddley quizzes about worthless minutia.
• JJ’s Place was a miniature supermarket where you could use monopoly money.
• Windows in John Jay could be opened so that occupants could enjoy a full torrent of fresh air above the jungle floor below.
• The world still had Steve Jobs and Christopher Hitchens.
• Obama was President.
• The economy was terrible.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: My father drove me to soccer practice when I was a single digit. He once told me that the secret to success was being different. Typical attitudes are worth less.

Write a CU admirers post to anyone or anything at Columbia: Most would think that there is nothing but disdain between us. I mean, at times there probably was. There is no doubt; I did you wrong. But you can do things that make me go wild. 67 Orange?

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? I honestly can’t imagine life without pizza, Kraft Mac ‘n Cheese, or mozz sticks.

To the freshmen/others: many things to do before graduating:

1. Declare yourself free. By that I mean understand your own capacity for responsibility, free from determination by expectation or circumstance. You chose to come to Columbia, but now, and at every point of possible inflection, you must choose to succeed, whatever that means to you. You choose to be in Butler on a Saturday night, and you choose to write a thesis. I think we need to do better as a community identifying who is ultimately responsible for good and bad decisions. We WAY overcomplicate the matter far too often.
2. Become a patron. There will be a time—somewhere in between your freshman floor’s first collective 40s order from Crackdel and the near-graduation scramble to find out who’s staying in the city—that you need a cup of coffee and a smile from a guy you know only as “bud”. Tom’s has a reasonably priced breakfast menu that suits this purpose wonderfully.
3. Study abroad, if only for a summer.
4. Become obsessed. Dive into something and lose sight of everything else. Indulge is your own personal brand of idealism, and compromise nothing.
5. Serve somebody. Early on, identify a cause that you care about, and learn to compromise for that greater good. More often than not in life, somebody else is running the show, and success depends on your ability to follow; not lead.
6. Take a class with Prof. Moody-Adams. Also: Foner, Jackson, Jones, both Kitchers, and Mercer.

Any regrets?

“Our age is properly the age of critique, and to critique everything must submit.” - Kant

I don’t understand people who have “no regrets, YOLO.” Had I won the lottery, maintained a 4.3, and then landed a job as Obama’s closest confidant, I’m sure there would still remain some events that could have gone better or actions that could have been better planned. To say, “Eh. Good enough: no regrets!” seems lazy to me. Still, we can’t have a mess of regrets that covers every step of prior experience (also the drink is seeping in, and I should cut this short before it gets sloppy).

So, in short, I’d like to simply say that I regret many, many things. I’ve let others and myself down repeatedly, and I apologize for each and every instance. I like to think that the karmic balance sheet finds the aggregate “partially regretful” as opposed to a full blown “failure,” but were I to find myself four years into the past, things would be done differently.

Also: I know and care more about Star Trek than I do some class subjects. I regret not majoring in 24th Century Intra-Galactic Relations.

Claire Sabel

The next Bwogger to pass through the gates of wisdom: Claire Sabel: legend, hero, and former Editor in Chief.

Name, Hometown, School: Claire Sabel, London (UK), CC

Claim to fame? Aspiring polymath, least likely to have run a marathon, Editor of Bwog 2010-11.

Where are you going? Back to Butler, baby. I’ve found a wonderful intellectual mentor in my thesis advisor, who’s agreed to take me on as a research assistant for the time being, so I’ll be around campus this summer, when I’m not in Long Island City speculating about the future. After that, my dream is to take to the parks as an urban ranger (seriously) somewhere in NYC, though it seems a bit inevitable that I’ll eventually end up in graduate school, studying the history of science.

3 things you learned at Columbia:

• 1) Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Fear of being ignorant will only breed more ignorance. You’re much more intelligent, and know a lot less, than you think you are/do. This isn’t just about the classroom—which brings me to my next point.
• 2) Learn from each other. The most enriching conversations I’ve had took place in my suite, at 1020, on the subway, in office hours, reading Senior Wisdoms and Bwog comments. School is as relevant as you make it. It’s not the only thing, but you should make the most of it by engaging it with all the other things. Talk to your professors about what’s going on in your life, not just about homework. Get excited about your friends extracurricular frivolities. Turn off your phone and go exploring.
• 3) Relationships, whether social, intellectual, romantic, professional, or with your self (don’t forget this one!) require work, deliberation, and attention. Cultivate them, and appreciate them. Live with people you don’t know, but would like to. Make standing appointments, and establish rituals that incorporate generous helpings of coffee and Die Antwoord.
• 4) I still have no idea what my priorities are but I know that I have some. It’s okay if you don’t have them all worked out, but don’t leave them unconsidered.

Back in my day….There was no discussion of “wellness,” no FemSex, no Nutella, no NoCo, no Mels, no Spectrum. There was nothing scary about growing up, and I returned every text message and then some. My attention span had not yet bifurcated into increments of either 5 minutes or 5 hours.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I am a good friend.

Write a CU Admirers post to anyone or anything at Columbia: First of all, I am sympathetic to CU admirers, kind of, but you should really, really suck it up and say this stuff in person. Imagine how amazing it would feel to have someone speak aloud, to your face, some of the wonderful appreciation that website has encouraged. Good right? Don’t you want to give that to someone else? I’ve tried to make that a regular practice. People seem to like it. Anyway, I’d like to thank James the Hawk-watcher for very occasional but inspiring conversations, reminding me to look up and around, that Morningside Heights is a beautiful place to live, that talking to strangers on the street is right; Everyone that has ever eaten food I’ve made, or made food for me; everyone who has made or broadcast music for public benefit; Patrick, Antonio, and Maria of Ruggles, River, and Claremont for the best smiles.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? One thing most people don’t know about me is that I’m incredibly indecisive. I’ve known this question was looming since the day I turned in my editor’s invisibility cloak, and I can honestly say I just don’t know. But it’s about the journey, not the destination right? I’m glad that I will carry this burden with me on the path to enlightenment.

One thing to do before graduating: Have purpose, and lots of sleepovers.

Any regrets? Okay I gotta give it to one of my most special accomplices in life who once wrote, “Have regrets! But don’t let them eat you up.” This is so right. So I mostly regret having regrets. I guess I regret not being able to get to the point without a preamble; I regret not realizing the value of being a more critical, active listener sooner. I regret not taking more classes, and not taking fewer classes. Thinking that I needed to have it all. That time I had bangs.

Logan Donovan

Here’s Logan Donovan, who Athletics should really get in contact with. Congratulations!

Name, Hometown, School: Logan Donovan; Nellysford, VA and New York, NY; SEAS CS

Claim to fame? I was on ESC and spent most of my time doing policy work. I co-wrote Columbia’s Medical Amnesty Policy, got the undergraduate schools to come together, and pushed for pass/fail for non-technical electives in SEAS.

Where are you going? Right now I am traveling around the country for the summer skydiving to make up for all of the jumps I didn’t do during the school year. Starting in September I will be working at a startup called pingMD as a software developer here in the city. Looking forward to finally having time to hang out with everyone who will still be in the city since I never had time during school.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. There are far too many amazing clubs to participate in or awesome people to meet here; you have to be deliberate about your time. Do your best to talk to your friends and watch school events to see what is available. If something seems interesting try it out. If you don’t make a concerted effort, the semester will have flown by and you’ll still be wishing that you had gotten involved. That being said, you only have so much time, choose wisely.
   
2. The people are the most amazing thing about this school. This place is very stressful; we even won an award for it, though their methodology is extremely questionable. When everything starts getting to you remember that your friends are there for even if you think you are just bothering them. Chances are everyone around you is feeling the same way and you’ll remember all of the late night conversations and adventures that you’ll have way more than whatever work you were doing.
3. a. SEAS has an odd place at Columbia. We don’t overlap in coursework with any of the other schools, which I think allows us to duck some of the bigger tensions that exist between the schools. We end being proverbially patted on the head by other students who say it’s cute that you never leave Mudd. While we are in one of the undergraduate schools, in reality we are not separated from the graduate school of engineering in a meaningful way, especially when it comes to junior and senior classes. In some ways this is good things because we get more research opportunities but the mixing of students often creates a lot more tension in the end, despite what people say everyone does care about grades. Talk to your professors, TAs, and especially other students. Don’t let anything take away from your classes. Buckle down, find a few people in your class and hang out while you do your work. Debating problems with them will teach you far more than you would have learned in class and you won’t feel as isolated here. There is also a fine line between discussing a problem and telling someone how to do it, don’t cross it. You aren’t doing yourself any favors by not actually learning the material.

b. During your time here you will at times feel like you rule the world and at others that the test you just bombed is the end of the world. It happens to everyone, take a deep breath and go and get some food with some friends. I promise, in the end everything will be fine. Also, during your time here you will have many accomplishments and they are worth celebrating… responsibly.

c. Professors are more important than the class subject; you are paying a lot of money to be here so it’s important to get something out of class. Also for all of the engineering students who only want to take math and science classes make wise use of your humanities electives, they are worthwhile. Also, take CC or Lit Hum instead of Global Core, they are great classes and being in SEAS is not an excuse to be a bad writer.

Back in my day… I went to a school where 20,000 people crowded into a football stadium most Saturdays in the fall to sing the Good Ole Song, I miss the school spirit not the sundresses. I looked forward to being prepared for the “real-world” like all the 4th years I knew (there are no seniors at UVA, TJ believed that educated was a lifelong pursuit).

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I have jumped out of a combination of planes, helicopters, and even a hot air balloon 736 times while I’ve been enrolled at Columbia. No, I’m not crazy; I enjoy the feeling of flight. One day I want to jump into a Columbia Homecoming game and land on the field with the game ball – Athletics, we should talk.

Write a CU Admirers post to anyone or anything at Columbia: Professor David Vallencourt, for honestly believing in students and wanting to improve our experience here. He believes that engineering should be exciting and hands on. Endlessly trudging through theory doesn’t always keep students motivated and engineering is about building cool things, we should do more of that.

My former CSA advisor Dawn Strickland for all of the support. Without it, I wouldn’t be graduating on time.

To my fellow students, who continually inspire me with all of your amazing achievements and general awesomeness, thank you for being my friends, supporting me, and helping to motivate me.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Cheese

One thing to do before graduating: Make an effort to get to know at least one new person in each of your classes. Go get coffee or tea or whatever they drink. It’s so easy to go to class every day and sit next to the same people and not even know their name. Especially in engineering where all of your classes are with the same people.

Any regrets? Not having asked for help when I needed it, both with personal and academic issues. Meeting so many people in my last semester here that I wish I could have been hanging out with for the last 3 years. Not doing graphics for Spectator or joining ADI or SAE… the list goes on. No matter how hard you try, you can’t do everything while you’re here. I chose one path through Columbia, and it was the one that I needed to take at the time, so ultimately, I’m happy with it.

Allie Curry

For the first Senior Wisdom on this Commencement Day, we bring you the wonderful Allie Curry, senior editor at The Blue and White.

Name, Hometown, School: Allie Curry; Bismarck, North Dakota; Columbia College

Claim to fame? I like words. Acquaintances most often call me out for arguing against Helen, that yes, you should tap that. 

n.b.: I was right.

Where are you going?  “Avenue of the Americas” and the early 50s by way of Bed-Stuy. I started work three weeks ago—does that mean I’ve already arrived? Also: since when do people pay me for my hard work? Asking for a friend.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. Conversational French/Spanish/Poststructuralist (literary) theory
2. Television can be intelligent.
3. Irony is a mechanism by which my friends and I deflect or diminish our our own emotions—which are TERRIFYING, but also mean something, and therefore, should be trusted.

Back in my day… Swine Flu was a thing and people listened to music featuring acoustic instruments. Trader Joe’s on 72nd didn’t exist, the distinction between leggings and pants was so much clearer, and WE DIDN’T KNOW THERE WOULD BE ANOTHER ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT SEASON. I’VE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE: HISTORY IS PROGRESSIVE, GUYS!!!!

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I find James Franco’s handshake weak.

Write a CU Admirers post to anyone or anything at Columbia: @AjayChaudhary and students of CC, section 54: I was dumb not to say anything in class for like most of the year, because you guys actually changed my life. And I didn’t even get the Star Trek references. Radiohead, though.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Cheese. NEXT.

One thing to do before graduating: Give yourself a deadline of two weeks. Enlist no more than three or four friends and dedicate your underage selves, earnestly, to finishing at least half of a box of Franzia each in those two weeks. Acceptable applications: V-Show, Bacchanal, Club Butler (“New York’s hottest club is…”) and your term paper, John Jay, etc.

Any regrets? Oh my god, I have a million regrets, very few of which are worth articulating in the space of this post. Trite, but I should have made several friends sooner; I should have drank more; I should have shat on the Upper Midwest less. Since we’re on the subject, as of late, I’ve been repping Joan Didion’s Slouching Towards Bethlehem hard. By way of oversharing “On Keeping a Notebook”, I think she’s right:

“I think we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind’s door at 4 a.m. of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends. We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget. We forget the loves and the betrayals alike, forget what we whispered and what we screamed, forget who we were.”

Remember your past selves, allow for change, and make your memories with others. Best of luck, guys.

Remember: tonight the Empire State Building will be lit up Columbia blue and white. And more importantly, Bwog is proud of you.

PrezBo:

• “It is a well-known fact: the smarter you are, the more you can procrastinate.”
• “I sometimes imagine I’m president of a dating service.”
• “Being at a university means never saying ‘well that’s just what I believe.’” … “Imagine how different the world would be if people entered conversations willing to change their opinion.”
• “I believe no generation has faced a world with more promise than yours right now.”
• “I hope you will always remain the brilliant students you have been with us.”

Deantini: “The pen is mightier than the sword, but we know Columbia College students are mighty good with both the pen and the sword.”

Goldean: “They are the hardhatted, hammer-waving students who will lead the world in engineering and applied sciences.”

DSpar: “The brilliant, the bold, the dazzling, and the ever beautiful women of Barnard College.”

Dean Awn: “These students are deeply indebted…..to the faculty!”

George L. Van Amson (Chair of CAA): “Stand Columbia as Columbia stands with you.”

Check out the moment of graduation for CC, SEAS, GS, and SIPA.

Happy graduates and that guy’s head.

Fortunately, PrezBo’s hair weathered the extreme heat of today’s College graduation ceremonies. A little after 9:30 am today, the class of 2013 marched with their gowns sticking to their sweaty under thighs. The Salutatorian, Yoshiaki Ko, made the first speech of the morning, discussing the “nexus” that Low Steps become when it’s nice out and the intellectual and social connectedness of the student body and the university at large. Terrence McNally, class of ’60, proceeded to give the Keynote address (highlights are after the jump). After student awards, Deantini urged the class of 2013 to “remember the imperative, ‘Roar, Lion, Roar,” and PrezBo promised to keep it brief in light of his speech for tomorrow’s University Commencement. Class President, Ryan Mandelbaum, started his speech by taking a selfie at the podium and provided insights on his freshman self’s “shearling lined Crocs.” Hands were shook, pins were given and names were read, the last of which was “Beyoncé Knowles” (this actually happened) which is apparently the proper phonetic pronunciation of Meriam Raouf‘s name. You know it’s unbelievable when a parenthetical disclaimer is necessary. Congrats CC 2013!

Speech Highlights: Yoshiaki Ko (Salutatorian): ” How many Columbia students does it take to change a lightbulb? The answer is 76. One to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulb’s right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter-protest.”

Terrence McNally (Keynote Speaker): “The only advice I have is: Be nicer to people. Wash your hands more frequently. Count to 100 at least twice before asking someone to marry you. Don’t put compromising photos of yourself on Facebook. That’s about it.”

“My professors told me that the greatest thoughts were inside these buildings with the most exciting, exuberant city outside, so I felt justified in skipping my classes…and this carried through for the next four years.”

“In the Eisenhower years, we didn’t talk about who was gay…but there was a hell of a lot of wondering. I was out but I felt alone…but I didn’t want to live my life secretively and furtively…but times have changed in my 50 years, in my lifetime.”

“I still have recurring nightmares that I’m a Senior and I haven’t opened a book the entire semester and exams and term papers are due in the morning. Fortunately, I always wake up before I drown myself in a Low Library fountain.”

“My senior year I wrote the Varsity Show. It was about cannibals and celebrities who deserve to be eaten…today it would be the Kardashians…”

“I’m not smarter than everyone I know. I just received a superior education—my Harvard and Yale friends would agree.”

“We need the class of 2013 to show us what else must be done to make this a more perfect planet. Let us make the future our friend.”

Deantini: “This is the greatest College in greatest University in the world.”

“It was believed that commencement addresses were important because students shouldn’t be released into the world until properly sedated.”

“The best  use of life is to spend it on something that will outlast it.” (quoting William James)

“Work hard, try hard, play hard…I know you’re all Columbia students so you’re probably thinking, play? What’s play?”

“College walk doesn’t go just from Amsterdam to Broadway, but around the world.”

PrezBo: “However much other Universities claim to have a core, none’s come close to Columbia’s.”

“Keep this educational experience alive and well.”

Ryan Mandelbaum: “Daft Punk released a new album and a song on it goes, [singing] “ We’ve come too far, to give up who we are, so let’s raise the bar, and our cups to the stars.” I chose this song mainly because the day I wrote this speech, James Bennet told me to quote Kanye West’s Good Morning, “homie this ‘stuff” is basic, welcome to Graduation,” but there are a lot of curses and the entire first verse is about cheating on all your tests.”

“If you look back on Facebook posts or tweets or emails from Freshman year, it will be excruciatingly painful.”

“Some of us will have to wake up at 8 am to do something other than pregame for Bacchanal.”

“Never change and don’t give up who you are.”

Josh Johnson

Name, Hometown, School: Josh Johnson; Uniondale, NY; Columbia College

Claim to fame? Co-chairman of the Black Student’s Group Consortium (shoutouts to my brothers and sisters in the struggle, cuz it’s real), Uris Pool Lifeguard, and Intramural Champion (I go hard in the paint!). Also my partying skills are legendary, I’ve perfected ancient the art of the fist-pump and my turn up is just mean bruh!

Where are you going? I’m heading back to Strong Island for the summer to study for the MCAT, which means I’m going to med school…someway/somehow. After that, I’ll hopefully be recharging my batteries on the crystal clear beaches of my not-so-distant homeland, Jamaica.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. Speak up. Let’s face it Columbia is far from perfect. When issues arise in academic or social settings we should be vocal about our emotions and demand better from classmates, faculty, admin, etc. There’s no shame in being “that kid” in class who always brings up racism, sexism, classism and whatever other –isms exist. Chances are you are not alone in your experiences here at Columbia and the more you speak up the more encourage others to do the same.
   
2. Make your own path. Being a part of the rat race is just no fun. Take the time out to be an individual and to appreciate your differences. Yeah I’m pre-med but I’ve never set foot in a lab outside the few I was required to take for class and I’m also an Ethnicity & Race major. I managed to find multiple ways in which I could mix my love of medicine with my interests in all those –isms I spoke about before. Basically though, you just gotta do you.
3. Appreciate the little things. This is probably something that has been/will be reiterated by most of my fellow seniors. Savor every moment you spend with friends outside of class or Butler. Don’t be afraid to spend that extra hour in the dining hall, take that last minute trip downtown, or skip a few classes to chill on the steps.

Back in my day… $500 dining dollars was a thing. Having an Ethernet cord for Internet access was absolutely necessary. We had at least one minority/female Dean of either CC or SEAS. Courseworks looked like a website straight up out the year 1996. Frat Row actually had fraternities on it. Deantini was teaching us how to use the periodic table.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I work hard and I party slightly harder. And I’m part of what is possibly the best group of friends to ever set foot on College Walk.

Write a CU Admirers post to anyone or anything at Columbia: To the University maintenance staff: You keep Columbia up and running and there aren’t many avenues for us to show our appreciation for you. So thanks for doing what you do day in and day out.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Cheese who?

One thing to do before graduating: Go to happy hour during finals week. Trust me.

Any regrets? Can’t say I do. That’s not to say I’ve done all things perfectly here. In fact, I’m more often the opposite of perfect and I make more mistakes than I can count. But I’m here, and I’m graduating and not too many people who look like I do or come from where I come from can say the same. So with that, no I have no regrets.

The class day speaker was Robert Bakish, SEAS’85 and MBA’89, CEO of Viacom Int’l Media Networks (sup MTV).  Bakish was clearly pumped to be speaking, opening his speech by making the crowd shout “Columbia!  Engineer!”  To their credit, the crowd was more than game.  Bakish clearly has a long-standing passion for Columbia.  He explained that his father is also a SEAS alum and encouraged him to go here; the audience applauded when we heard Bakish’s father was among us.  Bakish told his personal business life story and told the grads that every life is shaped differently, but it it worked out for him, “it will for you, too.”  Finally, he had some advice: “Live, learn, and press on.  Don’t forget to have a little fun.”

Valedictorian Joseph DelPreto spoke about the importance and strength of the SEAS community.  He talked about going to Florida with his robotics design team and spending free time in Disney World, where he was inspired to build to make the world a better place.  You have to make the choices to help more people.  Dean Goldfarb (Goldean, though he took a new nickname with “the cicada dean”) followed this idea, saying that grads need to use imagination to create new innovations.

PrezBo gave his perfunctory “speak briefly but directly to you guys while I can before Commencement” speech, speaking to the importance of engineering and technological knowledge.  Finally, he implored the grads to “please help the rest of us develop a Core course on engineering and technology.”

John Lubeen Hamilton

Next up is John Lubeen Hamilton, who you’ve probably watched perform at some point or other.  (And if you haven’t, you’ve missed out).  Congratulations Lubeen!

Name, Hometown, School: John Lubeen Hamilton, Lubeen, Lube, or any derivation of the aforementioned product

Born and raised in Queens, Ny – Saint Albans to be exact. CC student – Shout out to the Psych department for allowing me to take some dope classes and graduate w/o having to write a thesis!

Claim to fame? Rising from the darkness of my tiny Wallach single like Plato, I’ve become one of the more visible members of CUSH – the Columbia University Society of Hip-Hop. I’ve gotten the chance to perform my music & freestyle (quiet literally) almost everywhere on campus, including on the Bacchanal stage w/ my homies opening for Snoop Dogg two years ago. I’m also a pretty nice guy who’s always down to talk to anyone for a bit as long as I’m not writing music or playing Age of Empires.

Where are you going? Literally? I’m moving back home to Queens. I’ll be setting up a semi-permanent recording studio in my basement, so if you ever want to make some music and don’t mind public transportation, come through! But in the more existential, “where is your life going?” sense, I really have no clue right now. But that’s cool.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. Columbia’s culture of commiseration is like quicksand. One minute, you’re a freshman who’s so eager to get out of the house, explore the big city, meet cool people and enjoy everything college has to offer. The next, you’re a second semester senior who spends more time arguing with friends about who has less fucks to give and complaining about how uncomfortable the seats are on the struggle bus than you spend really enjoying your life.
   
2. In relation to #1, I’ve learned that perspective is everything. The only way to escape the utterly depressing – and I mean that very literally – side effects that this place can cause is to always remind yourself that things aren’t as bad or insurmountable as they seem. It will suck, and you will not sleep, but that paper will get finished. You may not that get that A+ both you and your parents aim for/expect, but you must remember that every passing grade at an institution like this is something to be proud of. And even when you do happen to miss the mark completely, remember that a failure is just an opportunity to learn from your mistakes and begin preparing to succeed next time. I know that this all seems like hyper-optimistic bs, but being able to take a third-person view of your situation can really do wonders for your peace of mind.
3. Good Friends, Good Music and Good drinks almost always makes for a better time than a large scale shindig. The low-key turn up is unequivocally real.

Back in my day… Ferris had bomb ass burgers w/ brioche buns, Wiz Khalifa and Ghostface Killah made me believe that Bacchanal was the mother of all college concerts, and CUSH cyphers consisted of about 10 folks in a room rapping over laptop speakers.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer:

I succeed at my own pace while you fools [are] racin’,

Idolizing idiots, while I’m my only motivation.

Just in case you forgot, I’m DOPE:

Diligently Overcoming People’s Expectations

Write a CU Admirers post to anyone or anything at Columbia: Yas, Lord knows how the hell we made it this far, but I really do shudder to think where I’d be if we didn’t.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? LOOK AT WHAT CHEESE DOES TO PEOPLE! The choice really is obvious, word to Akinyele & Danny Brown

One thing to do before graduating: Other than go to as many CUSH events as possible? Break your routine. Often. Go out and do something unexpected and fun. Have friends over and play board games. Relax. And not in the “I just finished this problem set, so I’m gonna watch an episode of Game of Thrones before I start my other one” sense, but in the “I’m not trying to do shit but sleep, eat and kick it today” sense. Despite what your GPA is telling you, you really do deserve the time to yourself.

Any regrets? I regret not learning these lessons early enough to apply them to my own college career. Oh, and I regret spending so much damn money using campus foods every time the temperature fell below 74.9 degrees and I deemed it too cold to walk over to the dining hall.

Much Love, and feel free to keep in touch

Lia Friedman

The wisdom just never ends: this time, on the morning of CC Class Day your CC valedictorian coaches you on all things Upper West Side.

Name, Hometown, School: Lia Friedman, Upper West Side, Columbia College

Claim to fame: If you knew my name before this April, you’ve probably gotten emails from me about worm bin composting. Before one of my closest friends and I met, our mutual friend would tell her stories about our CC class in which she referred to me as “the feminist.” That epithet flatters me.

Where are you going? I have no concrete plans! I’m headed to San Francisco in the fall to couch surf with extended family and see what opportunities present.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

• 1. Interests aren’t the same thing as personality. The age of facebook profiles and extracurricular activity fairs encourages us to assess our compatibility on paper/screen, but academic interests, favorite bands, and shared causes don’t necessarily provide the common ground we might expect.
• 2. You can trust your friends with a lot of things, but when it comes to classes or extracurriculars, go with what you enjoy. Recommendations from others can only get you so far. One of the most important things I’ve learned anywhere, not just at Columbia, is to completely trust my own reactions and preferences.
• 3. Russian.

Back in my day…Well, I’ve lived in this neighborhood for almost 23 years, and I grew up playing hide-and-seek on the Columbia campus and swimming in the fountains on Low. Back in my day, you got your groceries at UFM or Mama Joy’s. West Side Market was a quarter of its current size, did not have the fabulous disco soundtrack or “Fresh Meat!” sign, and it shared the block with Columbia Bagels. Metrocards cost $1.50, the 9 train still existed and the 3 trains were red, not silver.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I was born on a toilet across the street from Columbia. My dad skipped his daily espresso to catch me. I’m still trying to make it up to him.

Write a CU Admirers post to anyone or anything at Columbia: Columbia Facilities in charge of landscaping: you put in so much work to make campus beautiful year-round. Every time I walk around campus, I notice the minute changes in the hedges and appreciate the hard work that goes into upkeep of all this land. When I worked alongside Facilities on the community garden a few years ago, I was so impressed with their knowledgeability and friendliness (especially Mr. Rivera’s).

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? “How can you govern a country which has two hundred and forty-six varieties of cheese?” — Charles de Gaulle, 1962

One thing to do before graduating: Do something unrequired. Go to a class you’re not enrolled in, or a lecture series that sounds interesting. Don’t pigeonhole yourself academically—I majored in Russian, but I spent a summer working in a geochemistry lab for a professor I had my first year. It’s just as important to figure out what you don’t want to do long-term, and it’s a lot of fun along the way (although sometimes it involves crushing rocks alone in a basement lab). Also, you can always get a table and good beer at Amsterdam Tavern. You’re welcome.

Any regrets? Tons. None major.

Brian Driscoll

Here we have Brian Driscoll with a shockingly actual honest Senior Wisdom.  Congratulations on your graduation today!

Name, Hometown, School: Brian! Driscoll, Sandusky, OH, GS

Claim to fame? GS Alumni Key award winner. I’m also a Visual Art major; we’re rarer than unicorns.  Also, for some reason people always remember my hair.

Where are you going? I’m staying in New York to paint.  Buy my stuff.  I’m poor.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1. You can win a free laptop if you go to enough sporting events.  Seriously, what do you think I am typing this on?  There is free stuff all over this campus; you just have to look for it.
   
2. Strategically pick your classes based on the professor and then work to build a relationship.  Nobody is going to just hand you a good letter of recommendation.
3. Picasso is like a child washing their hands after being caught masturbating.  Ok, so maybe I still don’t know what that means, but I heard it in a lecture once.

Back in my day… Hurricane Irene destroyed orientation.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I’m here to paint.

Write a CU Admirers post to anyone or anything at Columbia: To the old lady model at Artist Society, I want to wrap up in your extra skin like it is a blanket.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Who could give up cheese?  Vegans are stupid.

One thing to do before graduating: Take Music Hum over the summer.  No one wants to go to the Opera.

Any regrets? Hell no!  I regret nothing!  One of my friends told me her biggest regret was not getting a new prosthetic eye while she still had Columbia’s insurance though.

In his short speech, Bollinger noted that GS is special in that it highlights untraditional students as a centerpiece of education, rather than lumping them in with the rest of the student body.  GS grants the university a “sense of institutional humility,” he went on, discussing the graduates’ myriad of real world experience outside of academia.  He then introduced Class Day speaker Nicholas Dirks, who is “taking on the very simple task of saving the University of California (Berkeley).”

Dirks centered his address around the fact that GS is “a school made up of unique life stories.”  After talking about the history of GS, he got into the meat of his speech: higher education is in trouble and under attack, and it’s up to grads to fix that.  Public institutions are competing with higher tuitions and other forms of revenue, student debt continues to be on the rise, and politicians are decrying elite institutions.  “We need you…to champion education and remind skeptics of the magic of the classroom,” he explained, saying that it is up to graduates to sway public opinion of the worth and importance of higher education.  “Each GS story has unique appeal,” Dirks said.  “Keep on telling your stories.”

Next up, Damian Harris-Hernandez, salutatorian #1, gave a humorous speech about his own story and what graduates should get out of their undergrad experience.  After explaining that his thesis was on Ottoman detective fiction, he said he knew what we all were thinking: how is he supposed to get a job?  But getting a job is “not the point of an Ivy League education,” he posited.  Harris-Hernandez talked about the unglamorous moments of his path to GS, like “deliver[ing] fried chicken by bicycle in Williamsburg” and “serv[ing] as a living model of acupuncture students,” yet here he was triumphant on graduation day.

Salutatorian #2 was Tiekka Nycole Tellier, an accomplished ballerina, with a more emotionally charged speech.  Like Harris-Hernandez, she talked about the unglamorous side of stories of accomplishment: in ballet, it’s showing up with no makeup, ready to sweat, and sitting in a tub of ice eating a sandwich while sewing shoes.  At Columbia, it’s more waking up at 3 am to do readings and staying up all night working on projects.  But these unglorious moments “will always feel the most authentic” to the experience.  Keep that in mind next time you’re at Butler at 4 am and need some inspiration.  It was in these moments that Tellier really pushed to the limits and found herself.  She ended with a tearful shout-out to her son Wilson, family and friends, and quoted her grandmother: “it’s a gracious plenty.”

After the graduates received their diplomas, valedictorian Benjamin Shababo told his story of moving from freelance film editor to neuroscience student.  Although these sections of his life seem like disjointed parts, he explained that they really flowed from each other.  When he first started editing, he paid attention to the perfection of the cuts.  As he kept working, though, he realized that it didn’t matter–if the narrative flows, no one will realize if a person isn’t stepping on the same leg between cuts.  “The brain’s job was to make sense of things,” which is what brought him to curiosity in neuroscience.  In hunt for a real, comprehensive undergraduate experience, he found GS and emailed Deborah Mowshowitz.  In Shababo’s experience at Columbia, he found that “life is better and more fun when you let curiosity be your guide.”  And in conclusion: “good luck and stay curious.”