Posts tagged "bros"

Columbia Makes Large-Scale Additions To Campus Surveillance

Just moments ago, a tipster divulged that Public Safety has taken covert and highly controversial new surveillance measures. Implanted on the heavily-trafficked inner doors to what our tipster reveals is called “Brogan” (Broadway/Hogan), this new security system monitors all potentially dangerously displays of bro-ing out. These include, but are not limited to, smuggling 30-racks of Natty-light and Costco-sized containers of Creatine into dorm rooms, wearing any combination of sweatpant-sweatshirt to a class or meal, fist pumping, dougie-ing, and speaking loudly about being the “most jacked dude” in Mel’s/Cannon’s the night prior to aforementioned assertion.

Stare into the unblinking abyss, bros. There’s nowhere left to hide.

Big BROther is watching you.


Bwog’s Brotastic Midterm Brocrastination

BroBible: “>

Things to Avoid: Party Fouls

It’s time for midterms, Columbia, and if you haven’t already, pretty soon you will need to study. And if you will need to study, obviously, you will need to procrastinate. And if you need to procrastinate, who better to ask than a bro? This is Bwog’s official guide to online brocrastination:

BroBible: Every bro has a story

  • Sample Headline: The 50 Hottest Colombian Women
  • Sample Content: “At some point in his life, every man dreams of owning a beautiful, expensive sports car. They’re fast, flashy, and drop panties like its their job.”

Bros Like This Site: Bros like all this shit

  • Sample Headline: #89 Hating Hipsters
  • Sample Content: “Much like girls in America go down on pretty much anything with a European accent, you better believe that shit works the other way around when bros go abroad. If you can get past the whole armpit hair bullshit, then you should be ready for a nice foreign pounding.”

On The Bro’d: Every Sentence Of Jack Kerouac’s On The Road, Retold For Bros.

  • Sample Headline: 62 – Car Surfing And Shotgunning
  • Sample Content: “How that RV flew through the Nebraska chode—the chode that sticks out over Colorado! And soon I realized I was for real over Colorado, though not for real in it, but looking southwest toward Denver itself a few hundred miles away. I got stoked as fuck. We shotgunned some Natties.”

Barstool U: By the C- Student for the C- Student

MyLifeIsBro: Life is pretty chill today, bro.

suburban basement via Wikimedia Commons


“A League of Kings, A Fellowship of Brothers, A Suite of Men”

Why didn’t you think of this first? 

Six CC ’09 gentlemen who met on their pre-Orientation COOP trip have started a blog from their EC townhouse. Designed with a bright red hue to echo their townhouse’s decoration (“as if McDonald’s built a ski chalet”). Casting reformed gender norms to the wind, the group has chosen the title of “The Mansuite,” an epithet for the group that existed long before the blog.

Updated often (for now, at least), the Mansuite blog boasts a photo album with rotating shots of recent parties the bro-consortium has hosted. One such photo, which depicts the archetypal scene of a frenzied and cramped college party, is the permanent bottom banner of the site. Previous posts have included documentation of the Mansuiters’ $450 spending sprees treks at the 125th Street Fairway and of scooter rides down the Lerner ramps.

It is unclear where the idea to start the blog came from, but in a short play one member (who would only go by the alias of “Colin Drummond”) wrote for Bwog in an attempt to link Mansuite back to its roots, the member wrote of a fallen scooter, upturned risotto bowl, puddle of spilled wine and a freeze frame of Gossip Girl forming the letters B-L-O-G. If this description is any indication, the Mansuite is certainly worth a read.

- ECS


39 °F, Fair

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Lost and Found

  • Lost: Paul Smith Wallet (Feb 02 2012)
    I lost a Paul Smith, multi-striped leather wallet (red, yellow, green, etc.) and it should have a insurance card and metro card among other things. Reward offered, wy2185@columbia.edu

  • Lost: Lion Laundry Gym Bag (Feb 01 2012)

    I lost a Lion Laundry bag full of gym items. Contact sac2171.

  • Lost: Burberry Coat (Feb 01 2012)

    Black puffy coat with two layers and Burberry plaid pattern on lining. Last seen at Lerner Party Space during Black Students Organization (BSO) party on January 20. Please contact jyc2130@columbia.edu if found. Reward offered.

  • Lost: Ivory Scarf (Jan 31 2012)

    Yellowish ivory scarf with a lot of print on it. Most likely to be found at 504 Diana or LRC SIPA. If found then you shall be rewarded with my eternal gratitude. Contact: an2503@barnard.edu

  • Lost: Blackberry (Jan 30 2012)

    Last seen in the Hartley computer lab at around 9 am, on 1/30/12. No case; no password; background is a generic picture of a rower on a lake. About 2 years old and showing its wear. Contact: etp2109.

  • Lost: Burberry Scarf (Jan 28 2012)

    Last seen at Il Cibreo on January 19 around 1am. It’s beige cashmere with unique colors which complete the original burberry pattern. If you took it by accident please contact aln2133@columbia.edu. If you took it because you like it, not cool.

  • Lost: Tacky Umbrella (Jan 23 2012)

    I lost my umbrella today in Schermerhorn 612. I had class until 12:15, went back tonight around 6 pm, and it was gone. It is Paris themed, so it has the eiffel tower, arc du trimpuh etc. Email lgg2110@barnard.edu.Thanks!

  • Found: Black T-Mobile Phone (Jan 23 2012)

    Black T-Mobile phone found on 113th and Broadway (sidewalk by Chase). Contact asvokos@gmail.com for retrieval.

  • Found: Vera Bradley Wallet (Jan 22 2012)

    Picked it up in the Wien Courtyard. It is red, with like a somewhat paisley pattern on it, and has a turtle key-chain on it. Contact ecs2150@columbia.edu.

  • Found: Brown NordicTrack Men’s Jacket (Jan 22 2012)

    I found a brown NordicTrack men’s jacket at Havana. Email kea2116@columbia.edu with inquiries.

  • Send us your notices of lost or found items!