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It was breezy, chilly, and wet, but this Monday, the General Studies Class of 2011 diligently filed into the large tents on South Lawn to finally graduate. Dean Peter Awn received a warm welcome and gave the prototypical opening about what it means to be a GS student, followed by remarks from PrezBo, who could scarcely get out the words “Peter Awn” before the crowd burst into applause again for the much-beloved dean. After these speeches came the Class Day speaker, Roger Leeds, GS ’66, who seemed to take the mic just as the elements outside were picking up. At one point during his speech on his experiences with GS (his mother’s disbelief on his attendance) and his life after (his own disbelief at an offer to join Johns Hopkins), a sudden torrential downpour caused him to stop speaking entirely, since no one could hear him. He went on wondering what this meant for the futures of the Class of 2011, but hoped it was a good sign.

Next to speak was the salutatorian, Elliot Shackelford, who praised the diversity of the GS student body and just couldn’t seem to stop smiling. He shared anecdotes about his time at GS and his days as a young pianist: although once he needed to sit on telephone books to reach the keys, through maturation he lost the need (aw)—GS students go through a similar process. The valedictorian this year, Kira Boesch, avoided the snafu surrounding last year’s valedictorian but nonetheless gave a heartwarming speech about her path to GS, her experiences as a professional ballet dancer, and the community spirit.

It also seemed like this year’s GS graduation was particularly popular, perhaps given previous events this year. Earlier in the morning, Fox News showed up to get film for this segment dedicated to graduating GS vets. National media, guys! But no sweat, GS ’11 was lookin’ good in front of the cameras.

And finally, after sitting in a tent for hours and eventually shaking hands with PrezBo himself, the GS Class of 2011 went on their merry ways—although, so we’ve heard, not before first heading to a hidden room full of beer and champagne (aka a “reception,” for those over 21). Most deserved.

Cheers, and congrats, Class of 2011!

Photos by Amital Isaac

Having being directed all around campus yesterday by Public Safety officers and people in ponchos concerned Bwog did not have a press pass, Intrepid Underclassmen Peter Sterne finally found the press section and settled in to watch the commencement of SEAS Class Day. After a procession of old alums, professors, and administrators, KevSho took the stage, asked Prezbo for permission, and kicked off the festivities.

The first to speak was the president of SEAS 2011, Amanda Tan. Both she and valedictorian Norases Vesdapunt drew on their experiences as international students trying to fit in at Columbia. While Tan delivered heartwarming anecdotes, such as her “first immigrant holiday—Thanksgiving—spent with the family of a fellow Columbia engineer,” Vesdapunt spiced up his speech with jokes. Before coming to Columbia, he recalled, he underwent a crash-course in American culture, learning, among other things, the real meaning of “3rd base.” Once he got to Columbia, he fit it just fine, though he did have to explain to some of his peers that his home nation of Thailand is not the same place as Taiwan!

The keynote speaker, Ralph Izzo, MS ’79 PhD ’81, and current head of a company involved in green energy tech, spoke about the importance of engineering knowledge in the world. He recalled his fondest memories of Columbia, “sitting with friends around an old coffee table solving the world’s problems.” Unfortunately, he admitted, he never actually succeeded in fixing the world, which means there are still plenty of problems—chief among them the development of clean and sustainable energy—left for the Class of 2011 to solve.

Dean Feniosky Peña-Mora started his speech by making the newly minted engineers stand up and thank their families and professors, including two visiting professors from Italy nicknamed “the fancy ones” in honor of their eccentric (to American eyes, at least) graduation robes. He then moved on to advice, telling the grads they should strive to use their specialized knowledge to contribute to their communities, no matter how small their contributions may seem. Alluding to chaos theory and the idea that a butterfly flapping its wings can lead to a hurricane on the other side of the world, Peña-Mora told the Class of 2011 to “go forth, flap your wings, and make us proud!”

PrezBo, the only non-engineer to speak, began by thanking “Dean Feni” and lamenting that “I wish I knew what you know.” He went on to explain that most of the world’s problems require technological solutions, and hence engineers. But he cautioned that these “problems are not just technical problems; they’re also human problems.” If only there was an educational program that combined the technical knowledge of engineering with the humanism of the liberal arts—oh, right.

Perhaps the most interesting speech came from Joshua Gaspard, the designated “grad student speaker” who is receiving his second MA at Columbia after getting an undergrad degree at West Point. Gaspard said Columbians would change the world, and predicted that the Class of 2011 includes someone who will cure cancer, someone who will develop a clean and sustainable form of energy, and someone who will develop a financial program and make billions of dollars. “But all joking aside,” he argued, “99% of you will have no global impact on the world.” Unexpectedly, the graduates erupted in uproarious, and perhaps nervous, laughter. Taken aback, Gaspard explained that while most graduates will not make world-changing discoveries, they will have real impacts on the thousands of individuals in their neighborhoods who will rely on them to better their lives. It was a nuanced point, and one that the audience seemed to appreciate.

Finally, it was time to read off the names of the graduating undergrad and grad students, which Bwog estimates numbered about 1,200 and took a half-hour. Afterward, it was time for “Stand, Columbia,” “Roar Lion Roar,” and snacks on Hamilton Lawn. Unfortunately, Bwog did not see any Jell-O shots this year, but we did spot some adorable Blue-and-White cookies.

Congrats to the Class of 2011!

Photos by Hans Hyttinen

Creed (left) during her college days, courtesy of Columbia College Today

Speaking of East Coast Television and Microwave Oven Programming!

Creed, CC ’88, is the executive producer of NBC Nightly News and the Vice President of NBC News. There has only been one female Class Day speaker since Columbia went co-ed in 1983: Claire Shipman, CC ’86, also a TV journalist, spoke in 1999. Creed was profiled in Columbia College Today in December 2007. Brian Williams (also 30 Rock’s best guest star, we think) calls Creed a “hustler”, but in a good way. Wallace was an English major and she played on the tennis team.

A note: Class Day and Commencement are not the same thing. Commencement is the University-wide graduation. The POTUS Project is the initiative for President Obama to speak at Commencement, not Columbia College Class Day.

An excerpt from CC 2011 President Sean Udell’s email announcing Creed:

We are writing to you today about Class Day, a tradition specifically for Columbia College where we welcome a beloved alumnus to deliver the College’s official farewell to CC seniors. Columbia College is unique in its requirement that the Class Day speaker be a Columbia affiliate, and we personally celebrate this tradition, as it helps to ensure that our speaker be particularly able to speak to the experiences of Columbia College graduates. When determining who to invite to speak at Class Day, your senior class council was particularly interested in the following qualities for a speaker: 1) passion for Columbia College, 2) success in personal and professional life, and 3) positive spirit and attitude capable for the inspiration of students. Moreover, in consideration of the comments that you contributed as we moved through this selection process, we agreed that it was additionally important to chose a speaker who reflected the relatively new gender balance that Columbia College has finally attained since this school became open to women in 1983. Since then, only the 1999 Class Day speaker has been a woman: Claire Shipman, CC ’86.

Therefore, I am absolutely thrilled to announce that our first choice for Class Day speaker has agreed to join us on May 17, 2011. ALEXANDRA WALLACE CREED, CC ’88, executive producer of the NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams and vice president of NBC News, will be this year’s Class Day Speaker. A renegade in her field, she is part of a small group of women who have shattered the glass ceiling of television network news in order to serve as the chief executive for the United States’ largest nightly network news broadcast. Moreover, she has been honored with six News and Documentary Emmy awards and a John Jay Award for distinguished professional achievement. We were particularly impressed that in addition to this incredible professional responsibility, Ms. Wallace is also the mother of young children and an extraordinarily active alumnae who hosts several Columbia College events every year and serves on the Columbia College Board of Visitors.

Class Day is a time for Columbia College seniors to celebrate their incredible achievement and to be inspired by the distinguished Columbians who have come before them. Alexandra Wallace Creed is someone that all Columbians can be proud of and admire as a role model, and we look forward to welcoming her to campus next semester as our Class Day speaker.

Update, 2:40 PM: The University has just issued its official press release announcing Creed, including a quote from Dean Mi-Moo: “Ms. Wallace’s accomplishments affirm our conviction that a strong liberal arts education inspires possibilities and opens doors to leadership opportunities in myriad industries and professions,” said Dean of Columbia College Michele M. Moody-Adams. “We are honored that Ms. Wallace has accepted our invitation to return to campus to address the Columbia College Class of 2011 on this most important occasion.” Creed won a John Jay award in 2008 and is member of the Council on Foreign Relations. Full press release after the jump.

NBC News Producer Alexandra Wallace Creed to Speak at Columbia College Class Day 2011

NEW YORK, December 12, 2010 – Columbia College announced today that Alexandra Wallace Creed (CC ’88), senior vice president of NBC News¸ will deliver the keynote address at the 2011 Class Day ceremony. The annual event, which honors graduating seniors, will take place on Tuesday, May 17, 2011, on the South Lawn of Columbia’s Morningside Heights campus.

Named executive producer of NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams in March 2007, Wallace became the first woman to lead a weeknight network evening newscast in a decade, and one of a small group of women to serve in the top post of a Big Three daily newscast.

“Ms. Wallace’s accomplishments affirm our conviction that a strong liberal arts education inspires possibilities and opens doors to leadership opportunities in myriad industries and professions,” said Dean of Columbia College Michele M. Moody-Adams. “We are honored that Ms. Wallace has accepted our invitation to return to campus to address the Columbia College Class of 2011 on this most important occasion.”

While leading Nightly News, Wallace repositioned the program as the number one evening news broadcast in terms of both ratings and viewership. Wallace also extended the show’s digital reach by orchestrating a relaunch of the website, increasing online video, and adding a digital correspondent to the show’s staff.

Since December 2008, Wallace has served as senior vice president of NBC News, overseeing Nightly News, news production, and staffing. Wallace was first named vice president of NBC News in January 2006.

Previously, Wallace was executive producer of Weekend Today and senior producer of Today. During her time as executive producer, Weekend Today’s ratings remained dominant and Saturday Today was number one across the board.

Wallace, who has a BA in English literature from Columbia College, began her network career at the CBS News London bureau. Prior to landing at NBC, Wallace held several positions at CBS, including senior broadcast producer for The Early Show and senior producer for The Early Show and CBS This Morning.

Wallace has been honored with eleven News and Documentary Emmy awards, a Gracie Award, and a Peabody Award. In 2008, Columbia College recognized Wallace for professional achievement by presenting her with a prestigious John Jay Award. She is a member of The Council on Foreign Relations.

Bwog really wishes we could relay the joke to you, but as soon as we signed on YouTube to find the video of GS Commencement, we found that the video had become private. We hear from the lucky few who got a look at the video before it was taken down that the joke centered around a scene in a Physics for Poets class, in which a GS student challenged a question on the exam, showing that GS students always think they’re right because they are always right. Watch Oswalt’s original version of the joke here.

A scan of Oswalt’s Facebook page reveals he is none-too-pleased. “Jesus fucking CHRIST,” he writes in response to a link showing Corman’s bit, “Again?” Oswalt is now figuring out how to get the snippet of video with Corman’s joke back so he can send it to the “several big media outlets” that are asking him for it. You read it here first, folks!

A final piece of advice for our readers: if you’re going to steal comedy bits, don’t steal from living comedians who use the Internet a lot. Steal from Milton Berle, he never tweets! A few pieces of evidence below, we’ll update you as events unfold.

Update, 1:30: And Columbia has put the video back up on YouTube! Scroll to 33:56 for Corman’s speech, and indulge in the barrage of comments. Columbia has added a meaty disclaimer to the video:
It has come to our attention that a portion of our Valedictorians address at this years Columbia University School of General Studies Class Day was taken from a comedy routine by Patton Oswalt. Until today we were unaware of this conflict, and as an institution of higher learning that upholds the highest standards of respect for the works of others, we are deeply distressed that this has occurred. Columbia University and the School of General Studies do not condone the use of someone elses work without proper attribution. Mr. Corman has issued an apology to Patton Oswalt. — School of General Studies, May 25, 2010

Update, 4 PM: Dean of GS and Bwog Hero Peter Awn has issued the following statement about the debacle:

It has come to our attention that a portion of our Valedictorian’s remarks at this year’s School of General Studies Class Day was taken from a comedy routine by Patton Oswalt. As an institution of higher learning that places a core value on respect for the works of others, we were surprised and disappointed to have learned of this matter today. Columbia University and the School of General Studies do not condone or permit the use of someone else’s work without proper citation. The student speaker has appropriately issued an apology to his classmates and to Mr. Oswalt for failing to provide such attribution.

If you’re in GS, send along that apology right quick using our tip form.

Corman has also apologized directly to Oswalt, which the comedian related in a blog post on his website that he titled “Sloppy and Desperate.” Still, Oswalt writes that Corman “owned it all.”

Update, 5/26 2PM: Corman’s email to his GS ’10 classmates:

Dear Seniors,

I would like to apologize to the Senior Class for my actions on Class Day. As many of you know, I used one of Patton Oswalt’s jokes in my speech (the one about the Physics for Poets class). I sent an apology to Mr. Oswalt yesterday, and he has responded on his website. My intention was to have a funny story amidst the more serious parts of the speech to get a few laughs, and I was completely in the wrong for thinking that it was OK for me to take his story and make it my own. I am extremely sorry to the GS Senior Class for betraying their trust and embarrassing the school, and please know that I never meant to harm anyone by this.

My sincerest apologies,

Brian Corman

This year’s SEAS Class Day was marked, as is the norm, by a number of speeches, both funny and inspiring.

Seth Davidovits and Rodney Chang delivered the valedictory and salutatory addresses, respectively. Met with general approval, their speeches were interesting and humorous—especially Seth’s, as he mentioned feeling sorry for the Class of 2013 since the world would end before their Commencement, or at least according to the Discovery and History channels.

Paul Brandt-Rauf, Columbia professor and holder of six (!) Columbia degrees, gave the Class Day Address. Surely aided by his extensive Columbia graduation experience, Brandt-Rauf’s speech, though a tad long, appeared well received. Evidently aware of his audience’s decreased attention span, he admitted, “I can drone on endlessly and say things that nobody will ever recall.”

ESC 2010 President Heather Lee, recipient of her first Columbia degree, also made a fine speech. Most notably, she gave her heartfelt thanks to the parents and professors who had helped SEAS 2010 achieve their goals, especially honoring the professors: “…and thank you for the problem sets, helping keep the ‘C’ in ‘SEAS.’”

The Clefhangers, a student a cappella group, closed the ceremonies with “Stand, Columbia” and “Roar, Lion, Roar.” SEAS 2010, Columbia salutes you!

In true GS style, guests were greeted by Howard Fishman and the Biting Fish Brass Band, who marched the graduates in to “Down By the Riverside,” rather than your typical 10-minute rendition of “Pomp and Circumstance.”

The ceremony continued with a rendition of the national anthem by Lena Park (GS ’10), who earned her bachelor’s degree from Columbia after achieving R&B stardom in Korea.

Another, marginally more famous GSer, Jacques Pépin (GS ’70), took the podium after Park to deliver the Class Day Address. Pépin came to Columbia for language classes within a week of his immigration from France. His speech focused mainly on his bio and some follow-your-dream-type lines, it was generally well-received, even “inspirational” according to several graduates.

GS students are crazy!

Valedictorian Brian Corman’s speech was also widely praised. Corman focused on GS students’ non-traditional and often more difficult paths. He illustrated with student examples, including that of Timothy Goebel, who became the first person to land three quadruple-jumps in a figure skating program after falling on the first one that he attempted.

Bwog dubs the ceremony a delight: a beautiful morning, a brass band, a Korean pop star and a famous chef. Congratulations GS ’10!

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

Remember how Bill Clinton was going to maybe speak at CC Class Day? Well, he isn’t, but he will be speaking at the Public Health School’s Graduation at New Balance Track & Field Arena on 168th Street. Hubba hubba!

The complete Graduation/Class Day/Commencement hullabaloo calendar has just been released for CC, GS and the School of Mines. Other notable speakers include chef Jacques Pepin for GS, Gail Collins for JSchool, our old friend Eric Holder for Law School, and Meryl Streep for BC.

See the full schedule and speaker list after the jump.

Paul Ingram, the Kravis professor of business management at Columbia Business School, speaks at the school’s Executive MBA Recognition Ceremony, 10 a.m., May 15, Roone Arledge Auditorium, Lerner Hall, Morningside Heights campus

Todd Stitzer, chief executive of Cadbury, speaks at Columbia Business School’s MBA Recognition Ceremony, 12:30 p.m., May 16, South Lawn, Morningside Heights campus

Paul Brandt-Rauf, dean of the School of Public Health at University of Illinois at Chicago, speaks at Fu Foundation School of Engineering and Applied Science Class Day, 4:30 p.m., May 16, South Lawn, Morningside Heights campus

Vikram Pandit, chief executive of Citigroup, speaks at the School of International and Public Affairs Commencement, 2 p.m., May 17, Riverside Church, 490 Riverside Dr.

Henry Pinkham, dean of the Graduate School of Arts and Sciences, speaks at the school’s PhD and MA Convocation, 2:00 p.m., May 15, South Lawn, Morningside Heights campus

Jacques Pepin, French chef and television personality, speaks at the School of General Studies Class Day, 9 a.m., May 16, South Lawn, Morningside Heights

Benjamin Jealous, chief executive of the NAACP, speaks at Columbia College Class Day, 9:30 a.m., May 17, South Lawn, Morningside Heights campus.

Eugene Robinson, columnist for The Washington Post, speaks at Graduate School of Journalism Day, 10 a.m., May 17, Miller Theatre, Morningside Heights

Brian T. Kelly, assistant professor of orthopedic surgery, New York Presbyterian Hospital, speaks at the Doctor of Physical Therapy Graduation, 1:30 p.m., May 17, Physicians and Surgeons Alumni Auditorium, 650 West 168th Street, First Floor

Bill Clinton, former U.S. president and head of the Clinton Foundation, speaks at the Mailman School of Public Health Graduation, 3:30 p.m., May 17, New Balance Track & Field Arena, 216 Fort Washington Ave., at 168th Street

Steven Alan Cohen, executive director of Columbia’s Earth Institute, speaks at the School of Continuing Education Class Day, 4 p.m., May 17, Roone Arledge Auditorium, Lerner Hall, Morningside Heights campus

Mark Wigley, dean of the Graduate School of Architecture, Planning and Preservation, speaks at the school’s Professional Degree Commencement at 12:15 p.m. for second professional degree recipients and at 1:45 p.m. for first professional degree recipients, May 18, St. Paul’s Chapel, Morningside Heights campus

Emily Gerson Saines, movie and television producer, speaks at Occupational Therapy Commencement/Convocation and Awards Ceremony, 10:00 a.m., May 17, Physicians and Surgeons Alumni Auditorium, 650 West 168th Street

Michael Brown, the Paul J. Thorn Chair in Medicine at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center at Dallas, speaks at the College of Physicians and Surgeons Commencement, 5 p.m., May 17, Physicians and Surgeons Alumni Auditorium, 650 West 168th Street, First Floor

Mary Jo Bang, poet, speaks at the School of the Arts Presentation of Diplomas, 2 p.m., May 18, Miller Theatre, Morningside Heights campus

School of Nursing Graduation, 2:00 p.m., May 18, Riverside Church, 490 Riverside Dr.

Raymond Jefferson, assistant secretary for the Veterans’ Employment and Training Service, U.S. Department of Labor, speaks at the School of Social Work Graduation, 3 p.m., May 18, Levien Gymnasium, Dodge Fitness Center

Gail Collins, author and columnist for The New York Times, speaks at the Graduate School of Journalism Commencement, 3 p.m., May 18, Roone Arledge Auditorium, Lerner Hall, Morningside Heights campus

Frank Brightwell, executive director and founder of Somos Amigos, speaks at the College of Dental Medicine Graduation, 10:30 a.m., May 17, The New Balance Track & Field Arena, 216 Fort Washington Ave., at 168th Street

Eric Holder, U.S. Attorney General, speaks at Columbia Law School Graduation, 2 p.m., May 14, South Lawn, Morningside Heights campus

Oliveira Tsiouris, associate director for maternal and child health programs at the Mailman School’s International Center for AIDS Care and Treatment Programs, speaks at the Institute of Human Nutrition graduation, 11 a.m., May 19, Roone Alredge Auditorium, Lerner Hall, Morningside Heights

Photo via William Munoz’s Flickr

Photo via NAACP

The youngest-ever president of the NAACP, Ben Jealous, CC ’94, will be speaking at Columbia College’s Class Day. At a celebration tonight in Havana Central’s back room, Class Council 2010 President Cliff Massey revealed Jealous’s selection after weeks of speculation that saw names floated including Bill Clinton and Kofi Annan

Jealous, who was involved with the BSO and several other student groups while on campus, got his B.A. in political science at Columbia before heading to Oxford as a Rhodes Scholar for his Master’s in comparative social research. He has worked at the Rosenberg Foundation, Amnesty International, and the National Newspaper Publishing Association. He was among the 2009 honorees for the John Jay Award, given every year to an alum of the College for his or her distinguished professional career.

Massey expressed excitement over the choice, telling Bwog, “Since he graduated sixteen years ago, he’s faced similar challenges to the ones the Class of 2010 will face soon,” citing Jealous’s work in health care litigation and social justice issues. CC Dean Michele Moody-Adams wrote in a press release, “Benjamin Todd Jealous wonderfully personifies the value that Columbians have long placed on active engagement in the world and in finding the solutions to society’s challenges. We will be proud to welcome him back to Morningside Heights.”

Massey also told Bwog that the Class Day committee’s original shortlist also included actress Anna Paquin (who studied at Columbia for a year) and President Barack Obama. Though Obama was the most popular choice among students, the security measures required for a presidential visit (such as the Secret Service securing several Res Halls while students were still living in them) made an invite impossible. SEAS and GS, the ball’s in your court. Full Columbia press release after the jump.

- JCD

“NEW YORK, March 24, 2010 — Columbia College announced today that Ben Jealous (CC‘94), president and CEO of the NAACP, will deliver the keynote address at this year’s Class Day ceremony, the annual event honoring graduating seniors. This year’s ceremony will take place on the morning of Monday, May 17, on the South Lawn of Columbia’s Morningside Heights campus.

Elected to his position in 2008, Jealous is the 17th and youngest-ever president of the NAACP — the nation’s champion of social justice, public service and human rights, now celebrating its century anniversary.

“Columbia’s undergraduate experience is built on the idea that our college must not only help students develop their capacities for critical thinking, but also nurture in them the responsibilities of citizenship in a democratic society,” said Dean Michele Moody-Adams. “Benjamin Todd Jealous wonderfully personifies the value that Columbians have long placed on active engagement in the world and in finding the solutions to society’s challenges. We will be proud to welcome him back to Morningside Heights.”

While a student at Columbia, Jealous sought the guidance of acclaimed civil rights lawyer Jack Greenberg (CC’45, L’48), who served as dean of Columbia College from 1989-93 and is currently a professor and Vice Dean at Columbia Law School. With Greenberg’s help, Jealous secured an internship with the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund (LDF), for which he later served as a community organizer in Harlem.

On campus, Jealous led movements in support of homeless rights, full-need financial aid and need-blind admissions. A battle over environmental justice eventually led to his suspension from Columbia University.

After returning to Columbia College and earning a bachelor’s degree in political science in 1994, Jealous went on to earn a master’s degree in comparative social research from Oxford University, where he was a Rhodes Scholar.

He has served as president of the Rosenberg Foundation, director of the U.S. Human Rights Program at Amnesty International, and executive director of the National Newspaper Publishers Association (NNPA), an organization made up of more than 200 independent historically black and black-owned newspapers.

At Amnesty International, he led efforts to protect human rights in the wake of the terrorist attacks of September 11, and while at the NNPA he rebuilt the organization’s national news service and significantly increased the online presence of black newspapers. Over the course of his career, Jealous has become renowned for his commitment to human rights.”

Photo by Google Images

Breaking news from the Diana Event Oval! Meryl Streep has just been announced as Barnard’s Class Day Speaker. Bwog is hoping she’ll deliver the speech in a medley of her most famous characters– a Miranda Priestly drawl, a Julia Child shrill, whoever she played in 2006′s under-the-radar film “The Ant Bully”. Make way for Meryl, 2010!

SEAS Class Day – James Albaugh, Executive Vice-President, Boeing: Allbaugh started off nonchalantly, joking about the absence of the West End, and his lack of academic success while at Columbia (Albaugh recieved a master’s from the engineering school in 1974). The first half of the speech focused on the problems Albaugh felt faced the new generation of engineers, including global warming, and he bemoaned how the United States is failing to keep pace in science education. The second half of the speech, however, could have been given to a new group of Boeing employees, as Albaugh moved through pieces of advice for anyone seeking a career in engineering. He even drew advice from how people become a “friend of Jim” at Boeing, and closed with a quote from a newspaper article about the first cross-country flight of a Boeing 707. In giving a thoroughly practical speech, Albaugh too often sounded like he was reading from a corporate memo. Grade: B-

Barnard College – Secretary of State Hillary Clinton: The Barnard graduates greeted Clinton with a standing ovation, and she largely delivered. Noting that women are “reaching levels of achievement not seen before” (including a joke about Preakness-winning Rachel Alexandra), Clinton began with a short yet humorous retelling of Barnard’s early years, including a Times headline “College Girls Are Healthy, Normal American Girls.” The heart of her speech, though, focused on the “new era of diplomacy,” which “requires a new commitment to global service.” In particular, she urged the graduates to “support women worldwide who don’t have the resources you do, but whose lives and dreams are just as worthy as yours and mine.” She closed by reminding graduates that their generation had a “a future that women in the history of the world have never been able to imagine, that you leave here empowered in a way that women and girls have never been before.” Evocative without being overly dramatic, Clinton once again showed why she was such a powerful opponent for Obama. Grade: A-.

GS – Philipe Reines, Clinton senior adviser: Reines began with several jokes, including how he hid his speaking engagement from Clinton, and a ribbing of PrezBo for the “low-profile” nature of the Ahmadinejad visit. The speech, though, became his biography, as he chronicled his path through several different schools, being Al Gore’s TA, and assisting Hillary Clinton. His point was to debunk various bits of conventional wisdom, like “don’t let people see you sweat” and “the shortest distance between two points is a straight line,” but Reines meandered, and rarely brought the focus back to the graduates, except to say that they were probably like him in their “wandering” backgrounds. It was, however, shorter than the other speeches, which kept the schtick from wearing too thinly. Grade: B-

CC – Attorney General Eric Holder: Holder started with the right amount of Columbia history, including his wacky roomates in Carman and his participation in the occupation that led to the creation of the Malcolm X Lounge. Acknowledging “that tomorrow will be the last day that some of you spend on an academic campus as a student,” and that “you may never sit through another lecture or pull another all-nighter, fueled by nothing but caffeine and fear,” he urged graduates to be “a servant for the public good.” “The people who truly deserve our respect,” he declared, the people who work hard and play by the rules – who teach our children, who minister to us when we are ill, who go to work every day in search of a better life – these people are too often ignored. Make sure they are recognized and find ways to help them.” He concluded with various exhortations to help the “greater good,” and a quote from Tennyson. It was a conventional speech, but well-balanced speech, with one interesting sidenote: One of Holder’s first anecdotes, about a roomate who enjoyed “altering his consciousness,” does not appear in the trascript on the Attorney General’s website. Grade: B+

Commencement – Lee C. Bollinger: PrezBo began by recalling fondly how people gathered on Low Steps (“Columbia’s town square”) for both the presidential forum and the inauguration. The main focus was on freedom of speech, though why he chose the topic went unexplained. The Journalism School graduates particularly enjoyed this subject, roaring several times during his speech. Bollinger constructed a historical frame for his talk, connecting freedom of press and expression to the effectiveness of government. The speech began to sound like one given at a Washington dinner party, especially as he entailed specific proposals for increasing freedom in the global marketplace of ideas. Bollinger also bemoaned the end of print media as the death knell for serious journalism, a curious contrast to the rest of the speech’s comfort with historical inevitabilities. Grade: B

Among the big names: former California governor Gray Davis at the Law School graduation, former National Security Advisor Brent Scowcroft at SIPA’s Commencement, Talking Points Memo’s Josh Marshall at the J-School’s Class Day, New York Times medical correspondent Lawrence Altman at the Med School graduation, and senior advisor to Hillary Clinton Phillipe Reines at General Studies’s Class Day. Of course, some of the speechifying talent isn’t travelling very far: professors Jagdish Baghwati and Jeffrey Sachs will be speaking at the Ph.D. convocation and the Dental School graduation ceremonies, respectively.

Our favorite detail, though? Both J-School ceremonies are “closed to the media.” Full list after the jump.

Saturday, May 16

Business School Executive M.B.A. Recognition Ceremony

Speaker: Bruce Greenwald, the Robert Heilbrunn Professor of Finance and Asset Management and director of the Heilbrunn Center for Graham and Dodd Investing

10 a.m., Roone Arledge Auditorium, Lerner Hall, Morningside Heights campus

Sunday, May 17

Business School M.B.A. Recognition Ceremony

Speaker: Robert Friedman, chairman and CEO of Radical Media

3 p.m., South Lawn, Morningside Heights campus

Monday, May 18

The Fu Foundation School of Engineering and Applied Science Class Day

Speaker: James Albaugh, executive vice president of The Boeing Company

9:30 a.m., South Lawn, Morningside Heights campus

School of International and Public Affairs Commencement

Speaker: Brent Scowcroft, former U.S. national security adviser

2 p.m., Riverside Church, 440 Riverside Dr.

Graduate School of Arts and Sciences Ph.D. Convocation 1

Speaker: Jeffrey Henig, professor of political science and education

3:30 p.m., St. Paul’s Chapel, Morningside Heights campus

School of General Studies Class Day

Speaker: Philippe Reines, senior adviser to Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton

5 p.m., South Lawn, Morningside Heights campus

Tuesday, May 19

Columbia College Class Day

Speaker: Eric Holder, U.S. attorney general

9:30 a.m., South Lawn, Morningside Heights campus

Graduate School of Journalism Day  (Closed to media)

Speaker: Joshua Micah Marshall, founder of Talking Points Memo

10 a.m., Miller Theatre, Morningside Heights campus

Graduate School of Arts and Sciences M.A. Convocation

Speaker: Anne Higonnet, professor of art history and archaeology

10:30 a.m., Roone Arledge Auditorium, Lerner Hall, Morningside Heights campus

Doctor of Physical Therapy Graduation

Speaker: Alma Merians, professor and chair of the Department of Developmental and Rehabilitative Sciences at the College of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey

1:30 p.m., Alumni Auditorium, Columbia University Medical Center

Graduate School of Arts and Sciences Ph.D. Convocation 2

Speaker: Jagdish Bhagwati, University Professor and senior fellow in international economics at the Council on Foreign Relations

3:30 p.m., St. Paul’s Chapel, Morningside Heights campus

Mailman School of Public Health Graduation

Speaker: Paul Farmer, the Maude and Lillian Presley Professor of Social Medicine at Harvard Medical School and founding director of Partners in Health

3:30 p.m., New Balance Track & Field Arena, 216 Fort Washington Ave., at 168th Street

School of Continuing Education Class Day  (Closed to media)

Speaker: Rita Charon, professor of clinical medicine and director of the Program in Narrative Medicine at Columbia’s College of Physicians and Surgeons

5 p.m., Roone Arledge Auditorium, Lerner Hall, Morningside Heights campus

Wednesday, May 20

Graduate School of Architecture, Planning and Preservation Professional Degree Commencement   (Closed to media)

Speaker: Mark Wigley, dean of the architecture school

12:15 p.m. (second professional degree); 2:15 p.m. (first professional degree), St. Paul’s Chapel, Morningside Heights campus

Occupational Therapy Commencement/Convocation and Awards Ceremony

Speaker: Penelope Moyers Cleveland, president of the American Occupational Therapy Association

1:30 p.m., Alumni Auditorium, Columbia University Medical Center

College of Physicians and Surgeons Commencement

Speaker: Lawrence K. Altman, chief medical correspondent for The New York Times

2 p.m., New Balance Track & Field Arena, 216 Fort Washington Ave., at 168th Street

School of the Arts Presentation of Diplomas  (Closed to media)

Speaker: Jerry Saltz, art critic and columnist for New York magazine

2 p.m., Miller Theatre, Morningside Heights campus

School of Nursing Graduation

Speakers: Donna Shalala, president of the University of Miami; and Phyllis Farley, founder of Doulas to Accompany the Dying

2:30 p.m., New York City Center, 131 W. 55th Street, between Sixth and Seventh Avenues

School of Social Work Graduation

Speaker: Diane Aviv, president and CEO of Independent Sector, the national leadership forum for America’s nonprofit organizations, foundations and corporations

3 p.m., Beacon Theatre, 2124 Broadway, at 74th Street

Graduate School of Journalism Commencement  (Closed to media)

Speaker: Alejandro Junco de la Vega, Mexican newspaper pioneer and publisher of Grupo Reforma

3 p.m., Roone Arledge Auditorium, Lerner Hall, Morningside Heights campus

Thursday, May 21

College of Dental Medicine Graduation

Speaker: Jeffrey Sachs, director of Columbia’s Earth Institute and Quetelet Professor of Sustainable Development

10:30 a.m., New Balance Track & Field Arena, 216 Fort Washington Ave., at 168th Street

Law School Graduation

Speaker: Gray Davis, former governor of California

1 p.m., South Lawn, Morningside Heights campus

Albaugh earned his B.A. in Math and Physics from Willamette University and is now executive vice president of the Boeing Company and chief executive officer of Boeing Integrated Defense Systems. According to his Wikipedia page, he supervises a $30.8 billion budget, and is one of Boeing’s “best paid managers.” See you May 18, Jim!

Photo via boeing.com

Loyalty is not something ingrained in students at this spirit-deprived school.  Even with all the excitement, we knew deep inside that Barack Obama (CC ’83, now some kind of important person) would never speak at Class Day.

After all, what with saving the world, how could he possibly have time to visit his Alma Mater?

As it turned out, our intuition was correct – Obama won’t be our Class Day speaker.  He’ll be the commencement speaker for other schools.

That’s right, schools, pluralized.  Two days ago, the White House issued a little-noticed press release announcing that Barack Obama would serve as commencement speaker at three colleges: Arizona State, Notre Dame, and the US Naval Academy.

Bwog’s analysis would suggest that he’ll touch on themes such as “the economy,” “the future,” and “you unemployable history majors.”

The press release promises “more details” at a later date, but we’re not holding our breath.  We’re too bitter.

UPDATE (12:38 PM): As rumored yesterday, the CC Class Day speaker will be Attorney General Eric Holder, CC ’73, Law ’76.

UPDATE (1:35 PM): We’ve got pictures of the momentous announcement and Columbia’s press release.

CC ’09 Student Council engages in a group huddle to prepare themselves for delivering the news. Lunch-eating passersby don’t know what’s about to hit them.

The Announcement is made. Holder’s achievement of becoming the first African-American attorney general receives praise.

And then, with a brief “Thanks to all our adoring masses,” it was over. But to be fair, Student Council has midterms, too.

Columbia’s press release:

Attorney General Eric Holder Will Be

Columbia College Class Day Speaker

NEW YORK, March 10, 2009 – Columbia College has announced that U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, an alumnus of both Columbia College and Law School, will serve as its speaker for Class Day, the annual ceremony honoring graduating seniors. This year’s ceremony takes place on Tuesday, May 19, on the South Lawn of Columbia’s Morningside Heights campus.

“Columbians are rightly proud to count both the President of the United States and his Attorney General among our graduates,” said Columbia President Lee C. Bollinger. “Eric Holder has been a loyal and active alumnus of both our College and Law School whose impressive career exemplifies the civic values and commitment to public service that we hope to nurture in our students across all professional fields and academic disciplines. We look forward to welcoming him back.”

After being sworn in as attorney general last month, Holder (CC’73, Law’76) became the second consecutive Columbia graduate to serve in that cabinet post, succeeding Michael Mukasey (CC’63). He served as a Columbia University trustee from March 2007 until his confirmation.

“Eric Holder has stayed closely connected to the College and to his classmates while building an outstanding career serving the public good,” said Dean Austin Quigley, dean of Columbia College. “He is a fine example to all of our students and his remarks at the 2009 Class Day will make the occasion especially memorable for our graduating seniors and their families.”

After his graduation from Columbia College and Law School, Holder joined the Department of Justice’s newly-formed Public Integrity Section, where he investigated and prosecuted corruption involving officials in local, state and federal government. In 1988, President Ronald Reagan appointed Holder to serve as an associate judge of the Superior Court of the District of Columbia, where he presided over hundreds of criminal and civil trials during his five years on the bench.

In 1993, President Bill Clinton appointed Holder to serve as the United States Attorney for the District of Columbia. In 1997, Clinton appointed Holder to serve as deputy attorney general of the United States, a position that he held until the end of the Clinton administration. Over the course of his career, Holder has earned a reputation as a staunch champion of civil rights.