Tonight may be dreary, but that’s no reason to spend it in your room pining for Thanksgiving Break. Not when some of Columbia’s funniest comedians will be at tonight’s Improvapalooza! To get a taste of the laughs they have in store for us, we asked some of the groups in the show a series of questions. Their answers appear below, but first: tonight’s full set list!
Set List
Torsten Odland
Alex Curtis
Control Top
Jon Edelman
Chowdah
Charlie Dinkin
Fruit Paunch
Eli Grober
Alfred Musical Improv
A Million Shetland Ponies
Dog Court
IMPROV JAM (see below)
Will Cybriwsky, of Alfred Musical Improv
What makes your group special? Music! Shit, Bwog, do your research.
Why are you excited about Improvapalooza? I’ll no longer have to be planning Improvapalooza! Also: the Improv Jam, when members from all the groups will be performing with volunteers from the audience.
Who’s your favorite comedian? God. He has this hilarious bit where humans still subjugate and kill each other despite millennia of technological progress enabling a post-material existence that you should definitely check out.
What’s the funniest thing about Columbia? The quadruplicate forms used whenever you make a purchase. Get me every time.
Your suggestion is: “turkey.” What’s your next move? I used to be really uncomfortable with America killing so many turkeys every year, but then I learned in freshman bio that turkeys are genetically coded to be EXTREME RACISTS. Problem solved. Read on for Fruit Paunch, Control Top, and more!
On Tuesday, Bwog sat down with Bob Vulfov, CC ’13, and Eli Grober, CC ’13, to talk about comedy, blowjobs, and their new show “Just F*cking Laugh At Me!” Here’s an (abridged) transcript of our conversation.
Bwog: So why did you decide to write the show?
Bob: We wrote the show because we wanted to figure out why we’re doing stand-up comedy.
Eli: I don’t know if we actually figured that out, but it’s a good show.
Bob: It’s a bit crude at times, so if you’re offended by language obviously it’s not going to be your cup of tea, but it also has equal doses of sweetness. So it’s like a very, very, shitty “Book of Mormon” in that sense.
Eli: But there’s no music.
Bob: Yeah, there’s no music, but hopefully people will be able to embrace the vulgarity and crudeness because the overlying message is really sweet and nice. This is our first time writing together.
Eli: We work together a lot, and we’ve written jokes and improv together, but this was the first [longer piece] and it was a lot of fun! We hope people enjoy it. We enjoy it.
Bob: We have some awesome people!
Eli: Evan Johnston and Michael Abraham. The parts we got to write for these guys was…
Bob: A privilege! They’re incredible! It’s unfair how funny those two are. If anything, you should come to see them.
LateNite Theatre presented the first showing of its fall anthology last night. Bwog’s own Peter Sterne reports.
An NYC Late Night Subway Map
Last night, LateNite presented a series of six short plays written, directed by, and starring members of the Columbia community, as they have for the past 15 years. All of them were quite funny, though they varied in tone from laugh-out-loud hilarious to almost dark comedy. Some were just short sketches based on a central idea, while others were full-fledged short plays.
The opening play, “The Haunting of Our Lives,” written by Augusto Corvolan and directed by Steele Sternberg, examined what happens when a demon tries to haunt an apathetic loser. Despite the simple premise, it was very entertaining to watch Dan Aprahamian remain completely oblivious to everything and everyone around him, from Alex Katz’s suave but increasingly frustrated demon to Hannah Ceja as his terribly under-appreciated girlfriend. The ending is fairly obvious, but the journey there is a treat.
Another popular play was “Lost Manuscripts.” Written by Brian LaPerche and directed by Zack Sheppard, this show has no plot. Instead, the actors all play drunken versions of Shakespeare brainstorming ideas for his next play. The actors are a mix of KCST and improv types, and it shows as they deliver quick sketches of classic plays that are short, vulgar, and pitch-perfect in their middlebrow Shakespearean satire. Who else could summarize Taming of the Shrew as “Bitch get trained!” or call the end of Othello a “pillow fight”? By the time the actors run out of Shakespearean parodies and tackle everything from Waiting for Godot (“He never fucking comes!”) to Inception (BWAAAAANG!), the audience is in stitches.
In a similar vein, Alyssa Lamontagne’s “Don’t Teach Archery (Lest You Become the Target)” mocks Ocean’s Eleven-type caper movies and soap opera drama. It also makes great use of music. The centerpiece of the play is a scenario, set to the tune of “Mission Impossible,” where various stereotypical assassins (a ninja, a sexy Russian, a bombs expert, etc.) work together to assassinate the English king and prince, with the Mission Impossible theme blaring in the background. Perhaps the best scene occurs when the prince’s archery teacher (Kendale Winbush) and the queen (Lida Benson) find themselves attracted to one another. While romantic music swells in the background, Winbush and Benson express the melodrama of the scene to a truly absurd degree. Throw in a great finale, where the assassins try to execute Winbush with a bow but struggle to do so until he teaches them how to hold it properly, and you’ve got one hilarious show.
Everyone had a good time at GS Class Day. There was a brass band, there was a Korean pop star, and there was a Valedictorian named Brian Corman who made a speech. This was not an unusual thing for a Valedictorian to do, but Mr. Corman did something out of the ordinary: he stole a joke, just about word for word, from comedian Patton Oswalt. Corman inserted it into his speech as if that very anecdote had happened to him. Whoops!
Bwog really wishes we could relay the joke to you, but as soon as we signed on YouTube to find the video of GS Commencement, we found that the video had become private. We hear from the lucky few who got a look at the video before it was taken down that the joke centered around a scene in a Physics for Poets class, in which a GS student challenged a question on the exam, showing that GS students always think they’re right because they are always right. Watch Oswalt’s original version of the joke here.
A scan of Oswalt’s Facebook page reveals he is none-too-pleased. “Jesus fucking CHRIST,” he writes in response to a link showing Corman’s bit, “Again?” Oswalt is now figuring out how to get the snippet of video with Corman’s joke back so he can send it to the “several big media outlets” that are asking him for it. You read it here first, folks!
A final piece of advice for our readers: if you’re going to steal comedy bits, don’t steal from living comedians who use the Internet a lot. Steal from Milton Berle, he never tweets! A few pieces of evidence below, we’ll update you as events unfold.
Update, 1:30: And Columbia has put the video back up on YouTube! Scroll to 33:56 for Corman’s speech, and indulge in the barrage of comments. Columbia has added a meaty disclaimer to the video: It has come to our attention that a portion of our Valedictorians address at this years Columbia University School of General Studies Class Day was taken from a comedy routine by Patton Oswalt. Until today we were unaware of this conflict, and as an institution of higher learning that upholds the highest standards of respect for the works of others, we are deeply distressed that this has occurred. Columbia University and the School of General Studies do not condone the use of someone elses work without proper attribution. Mr. Corman has issued an apology to Patton Oswalt. — School of General Studies, May 25, 2010
Update, 4 PM: Dean of GS and Bwog Hero Peter Awn has issued the following statement about the debacle:
It has come to our attention that a portion of our Valedictorian’s remarks at this year’s School of General Studies Class Day was taken from a comedy routine by Patton Oswalt. As an institution of higher learning that places a core value on respect for the works of others, we were surprised and disappointed to have learned of this matter today. Columbia University and the School of General Studies do not condone or permit the use of someone else’s work without proper citation. The student speaker has appropriately issued an apology to his classmates and to Mr. Oswalt for failing to provide such attribution.
If you’re in GS, send along that apology right quick using our tip form.
Corman has also apologized directly to Oswalt, which the comedian related in a blog post on his website that he titled “Sloppy and Desperate.” Still, Oswalt writes that Corman “owned it all.”
Update, 5/26 2PM: Corman’s email to his GS ’10 classmates:
Dear Seniors,
I would like to apologize to the Senior Class for my actions on Class Day. As many of you know, I used one of Patton Oswalt’s jokes in my speech (the one about the Physics for Poets class). I sent an apology to Mr. Oswalt yesterday, and he has responded on his website. My intention was to have a funny story amidst the more serious parts of the speech to get a few laughs, and I was completely in the wrong for thinking that it was OK for me to take his story and make it my own. I am extremely sorry to the GS Senior Class for betraying their trust and embarrassing the school, and please know that I never meant to harm anyone by this.
The purse has large red circles on it, and contained an ID card, keys, wallet, pink headphones, Metrocard, and other important things. Last seen in Schermerhorn 614. If found, please contact rdc2125@barnard.edu
Hi, I’m missing a black LL Bean Backpack, last seen in the lounge of Broadway 12 during the Super Bowl. It’s black, with the initials “BCB,” embossed in grey. It contains an Apple laptop and several important books. If found, contact bcb2131@columbia.edu.
I lost a Paul Smith, multi-striped leather wallet (red, yellow, green, etc.) and it should have a insurance card and metro card among other things. Reward offered, wy2185@columbia.edu
Black puffy coat with two layers and Burberry plaid pattern on lining. Last seen at Lerner Party Space during Black Students Organization (BSO) party on January 20. Please contact jyc2130@columbia.edu if found. Reward offered.
Yellowish ivory scarf with a lot of print on it. Most likely to be found at 504 Diana or LRC SIPA. If found then you shall be rewarded with my eternal gratitude. Contact: an2503@barnard.edu
Last seen in the Hartley computer lab at around 9 am, on 1/30/12. No case; no password; background is a generic picture of a rower on a lake. About 2 years old and showing its wear. Contact: etp2109.
Last seen at Il Cibreo on January 19 around 1am. It’s beige cashmere with unique colors which complete the original burberry pattern. If you took it by accident please contact aln2133@columbia.edu. If you took it because you like it, not cool.
I lost my umbrella today in Schermerhorn 612. I had class until 12:15, went back tonight around 6 pm, and it was gone. It is Paris themed, so it has the eiffel tower, arc du trimpuh etc. Email lgg2110@barnard.edu.Thanks!
Tonight may be dreary, but that’s no reason to spend it in your room pining for Thanksgiving Break. Not when some of Columbia’s funniest comedians will be at tonight’s Improvapalooza! To get a taste of the laughs they have in store for us, we asked some of the groups in the show a series of questions. Their answers appear below, but first: tonight’s full set list!
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