The not-grey lady

All the news that’s fit to….speechify on South Lawn?

Barnard has just announced that the The New York Times’ executive editor Jill Abramson will be this year’s commencement speaker. She’ll receive a Barnard Medal of Distinction and address the Class of 2012′s 600 graduates on May 14.

DSpar has (surprise!) kind words: “We have so many reasons to value Ms. Abramson’s place in history as the first woman to appear at the top of The New York Times masthead,” she says in the press release, posted in full after the jump, “From her early days as a reporter to her current post as the paper’s executive editor, she has been unfailing in her convictions and a true inspiration.”

Abramson took over as the Times’ first female executive editor in September 2011. She’s best known for her book on Clarence Thomas and–rather pertinently for a graduation speaker–her distinctive drawling voice. She graduated from Harvard in 1976.

Happy 257th academic year Columbia!

Thanks to YouTube, you can now watch the whole darn thing! Or at least the highlights. Click for the faculty procession, student procession, and PrezBo’s address.

Photography by Hans Hyttinen

Nostalgic already

We’ve been telling you guys as they’ve been announced, but the final list of all Commencement and Class Day speakers, and the recipients of various other honors, has just been sent out. It does not include Barack Obama. It does include the professors who’ve won the Presidential Award for Outstanding Teaching, the largest university-wide prize for faculty. This year’s winners are:

• Mary Sheila S. Coronel, Toni Stabile Professor of Professional Practice in Investigative Journalism, (JSchool)
  
• Kenneth B. Frampton, Ware Professor of Architecture, (GSAPP),
• Richard Locke, Professor of professional practice in writing, (SoA)

and two you might actually have had, or at least heard of:

• Richard A. Korb, senior lecturer, (Dept. of Germanic Languages)
  
• Jill S. Shapiro, lecturer, (3EB).

We’ve compiled a lot of useful information about Commencement on the right-hand sidebar, as well as various tools for “aiding” the last of your cramming. We’re almost there guys!

Read the full press release

Don't miss out on all the fun!

If you are over the age of three, and want to go to Commencement, you need a ticket. Graduating students are only allowed to claim four, and you have to pick them up in person. How surprising that Student Affairs has a centralized and sensible allocation process! Anyway, back in 2008, ESC set up this handy site to exchange Commencement tickets, if you need more than four, were unable to pick them up, or want to give away tickets you’re not going to use. Essentially a customized Craigslist, the site enables you to post extra tickets if you have ‘em, or get in touch with those people if you need ‘em.

Now would also be an expedient time to remind Ye Olde Seniors that tomorrow is the last day to pick up your tickets! They will be available from 4:30 to 7:30 pm in 401 Lerner.

Photo by Hans Hyttinen

Honorary Degrees Come With Plants

These are the very accomplished, interesting people who will be there with you at commencement—in addition to your also very accomplished and interesting classmates.

The University Medal for Excellence goes to extremely excellent Columbia alums under 45:

Lydia Polgreen, JSchool ’00

And here are the recipients of honorary degrees:

Ornette Coleman, Doctor of Music

Martin Meisel, Doctor of Letters

Eleanor Jackson Piel, Doctor of Laws

Joan A. Steitz, Doctor of Science

Keith Thomas, Doctor of Letters

Scandinavian Poets via Wikimedia Commons

Press Release and some background on the honorees after the jump:

Read more…

Sean Udell and the relentless POTUS Project have not given up hope. As part of the ongoing effort to bring President Obama back to his alma mater for Commencement, Jody Zellman penned this persuasive cartoon. Given that PrezBO/Bama might not read Bwog, POTUS is also sending a copy direct to the White House.

Read more…

On the Low Steps? Could be.

Columbia College 2011 President Sean Udell and Vice President Alexandra Coromilas have founded the CUPOTUS Project. As you might guess, its goal is to secure President Barack Obama CC ’83 as speaker for university-wide Commencement. But wait! Before you shake your heads and dismiss it as a pipe dream, listen up–their strategy is different. In the words of Udell himself:

Here’s the deal: President Obama has been sent the official invitation by President Bollinger and the Class of 2011. But he’s been sent invitations before. What we think will do the trick, however, is to demonstrate a grassroots movement made up of a united student body. That’s a tall order, but I have a feeling that we can pull this off.

Here’s what you can do to help:

• Check our their first press release.
• Read all about it on their website.
• Sign up to help.
• Like them on Facebook.
• Follow them on Twitter.
• Email them with suggestions or a letter for the President which they’ll pass on.

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

Everyone had a good time at GS Class Day. There was a brass band, there was a Korean pop star, and there was a Valedictorian named Brian Corman who made a speech. This was not an unusual thing for a Valedictorian to do, but Mr. Corman did something out of the ordinary: he stole a joke, just about word for word, from comedian Patton Oswalt. Corman inserted it into his speech as if that very anecdote had happened to him. Whoops!

Bwog really wishes we could relay the joke to you, but as soon as we signed on YouTube to find the video of GS Commencement, we found that the video had become private. We hear from the lucky few who got a look at the video before it was taken down that the joke centered around a scene in a Physics for Poets class, in which a GS student challenged a question on the exam, showing that GS students always think they’re right because they are always right. Watch Oswalt’s original version of the joke here.

A scan of Oswalt’s Facebook page reveals he is none-too-pleased. “Jesus fucking CHRIST,” he writes in response to a link showing Corman’s bit, “Again?” Oswalt is now figuring out how to get the snippet of video with Corman’s joke back so he can send it to the “several big media outlets” that are asking him for it. You read it here first, folks!

A final piece of advice for our readers: if you’re going to steal comedy bits, don’t steal from living comedians who use the Internet a lot. Steal from Milton Berle, he never tweets! A few pieces of evidence below, we’ll update you as events unfold.

Update, 1:30: And Columbia has put the video back up on YouTube! Scroll to 33:56 for Corman’s speech, and indulge in the barrage of comments. Columbia has added a meaty disclaimer to the video:
It has come to our attention that a portion of our Valedictorians address at this years Columbia University School of General Studies Class Day was taken from a comedy routine by Patton Oswalt. Until today we were unaware of this conflict, and as an institution of higher learning that upholds the highest standards of respect for the works of others, we are deeply distressed that this has occurred. Columbia University and the School of General Studies do not condone the use of someone elses work without proper attribution. Mr. Corman has issued an apology to Patton Oswalt. — School of General Studies, May 25, 2010

Update, 4 PM: Dean of GS and Bwog Hero Peter Awn has issued the following statement about the debacle:

It has come to our attention that a portion of our Valedictorian’s remarks at this year’s School of General Studies Class Day was taken from a comedy routine by Patton Oswalt. As an institution of higher learning that places a core value on respect for the works of others, we were surprised and disappointed to have learned of this matter today. Columbia University and the School of General Studies do not condone or permit the use of someone else’s work without proper citation. The student speaker has appropriately issued an apology to his classmates and to Mr. Oswalt for failing to provide such attribution.

If you’re in GS, send along that apology right quick using our tip form.

Corman has also apologized directly to Oswalt, which the comedian related in a blog post on his website that he titled “Sloppy and Desperate.” Still, Oswalt writes that Corman “owned it all.”

Update, 5/26 2PM: Corman’s email to his GS ’10 classmates:

Dear Seniors,

I would like to apologize to the Senior Class for my actions on Class Day. As many of you know, I used one of Patton Oswalt’s jokes in my speech (the one about the Physics for Poets class). I sent an apology to Mr. Oswalt yesterday, and he has responded on his website. My intention was to have a funny story amidst the more serious parts of the speech to get a few laughs, and I was completely in the wrong for thinking that it was OK for me to take his story and make it my own. I am extremely sorry to the GS Senior Class for betraying their trust and embarrassing the school, and please know that I never meant to harm anyone by this.

My sincerest apologies,

Brian Corman

Purposeless after finals, Bwog stumbled across video of Joey Goldberg singing the national anthem at this year’s Commencement. It brought a tear to even our most cynical of eyes. Here’s the official University footage of Commencement 2010. Joey starts singing at about 45 seconds in.

The university’s official Youtube channel is full of videos from graduation ceremonies this year. Happy summer and congratulations again to the Class of 2010!

Photos by Hans Hyttinen

Every single member of the Columbia Class of 2010- that’s CC, SEAS, GS, BC, JSchool, BSchool, Law School is officially graduating right now. They are joined by approximately ten million family members and friends braving the truly nasty weather. At last, a justification for the tents. Photos to come, but in the meantime, in case you haven’t heard this enough recently:

And don’t forget to look for the Empire State Building lit up in Columbia blue tonight at dusk!

Hannah Goldstein watched 2010 graduate and saw Meryl Streep. Delights!

How do you make students forget about a change in Class Day location and the threat of cooties? Distract them! The Barnard class of 2010′s new claim to bragging rights seems to have done the trick, and all senior faces were happy faces on this sunny day at Ancel Plaza.

The ceremony began with the procession of the senior class. The ceremony began with the first Meryl Streep sighting (through a window). Within seconds, audience and press alike were in a frenzy. “Meryl just wants to hang out with the students!” said Media Relations Director Sun Min as she guided the press towards the corner where students and Meryl were to intersect according to the planned graduation route. Intersect they did, and lots of schmoozing ensued. Then, after ten minutes of processing and seat-locating, all students were finally seated. First to speak was Anna Quindlen, Barnard’s celebrity-in-residence. “Like you, I am a member of the graduating class of 2010,” she said. OK, Anna. The next few of speeches were delivered by senior class president Chelsea Zimmerman, Provost Elizabeth Boylan, and student body president Katie Palillo, who went so far as to coin the term “foremothers” and made admirable use of alliteration, most notably in referring to the choice reading of Barnard women: “manuscripts, manifestos, and the Mystique.” Valedictorian Elected speaker Alicia Mountain also spoke on behalf of the graduating class.

The Senior Fund co-chairs took the stage to present the senior class gift: the Class of 2010 Contingency Fund, which will help ease the financial burden of living in “one of the most expensive cities in the world” by buying bedding and other college necessities for first-years on financial aid. Then the presentation of Medals of Distinction began: Thelma Golden (curator), Olympia Snowe (senator), and Shirley Tilghman (president of Princeton) all received awkward second-person citations. (“You were born in Queens…” began one.) So that no one forgot that Meryl Streep was in attendance, DSpar had been making a point to periodically express her starstruck-ness: while fumbling to open the envelope that held the name of the senior prize winner, DSpar said, “Meryl Streep should be doing this!” When Streep got up before her citation and stood in what was apparently the wrong place, DSpar murmured something to her and then quipped, “I’m directing Meryl Streep!” before going on to list every single award Meryl Streep has ever received.

And then the big moment arrived and Meryl Streep began her own speech, which was artful, surprisingly self-effacing and platitude-free. She told stories about being the Virgin Mary in her mother’s Nativity scene, trying to be one of the populars in high school, finding herself in college, and running into success and unwanted celebrity later in life; though all initially seemed unconnected, it soon became clear that she was choosing to leave the connecting job to the audience. Though much of her speech focused on female empowerment, her larger message seemed to be that success is an intrinsic experience, separate from Oscars, fame, SAG Awards, and invitations to speak at college commencements (!) “You don’t have to be famous; you just have to make your mother and father proud. And you already have,” concluded Streep warmly, and the crowd broke into wild applause. It was a perfect transition back to the students—the real stars of the day. And to the voice of Dean Denburg, the degree-awarding began and ended, DSpar gave her speech, and the Barnard College Class of 2010 were awarded their diplomas. A hearty congratulations!

Eliza Shapiro woke up so early for CC Class Day. Liz Naiden was late but she is forgiven, just this once. Their report follows. If you have pictures, video or overheards from this Class Day or any other, send em in using our tips form.

Bwog guesstimates that it took 3.66 rounds of “Pomp and Circumstance” to seat the entire CC Class of 2010 and faculty in their cushier chairs. At last, our fearless leader took the stage greeted by an exceedingly shrill cry of “PREZBOOOO” from one young woman and then a larger chant of “PrezBo”, which made Mr. Bo look intensely uncomfortable, and we were off.

Salutatorian and generally high-achieving person Jeff Spear delivered the first speech, complete with a Nietzsche reference: slave morality will hunt you down on your graduation day. Dean Kevin “Kev” Shollenberger, looking especially spiffy in baby blue (it’s those eyes) took the podium to introduce Class Day Speaker Ben Jealous, President of the NAACP. Jealous got a preemptive round of applause when Shollenberger noted that he’d been suspended from Columbia College.

Jealous delivered a rousing speech, prompting CC 2010 President Cliff Massey to tell his classmates, “I told you he’d be good,” probably because of this. Jealous, who eventually graduated in 1994 (read more about his CC days here), described the current state of the universe as one of “Dickensian contradiction.” He noted that Sarah Palin and her acolytes want to “party like it’s 1776,” (i.e take the country back several large steps) which was met with boos and cheers from the crowd, presumably unclear on what the boo or cheer supported or condemned. Jealous went on to relate fascinating anecdotes from his post-CC-suspension time in Mississippi, including a dramatic encounter with a man Jealous thought was going to kill him (but ended up offering help) in a Waffle House and an actual death threat from the KKK’s press office. The speech was well-received, and, yeah, more biased than most of your run-of-the-mill graduation speeches, but Bwog thinks that was kind of the point of having someone like Jealous speak in the first place. Jealous finished with the following pieces of advice: go with your gut, and “let’s party like it’s 2010!” EC, Heights or Campo? Or is everyone in Bushwick already?

After many, many awards were given- notably to the Valedictorian Arianne Richard and another to Mr. Spear, the President of the Alumni Association to the podium ask everyone to donate money (the Senior Fund raised $18,626, a CC record!) and made fun of the seniors for “giving the Deans a new definition of the term ‘pregame.’” During his speech, muffled chants and shouts from Beyond the Gates made everyone turn to each other to ask “hey, what’s that shouting?” Bwog ran as fast as our little feet could carry us across College Walk, and found a scene not unlike the storming of the Bastille. As we reported a few hours ago, over 30 construction workers, hard hats and all, holding signs and protesting the Community Benefits Agreement (“hey, ho, CBA has got to go!”). According to the entire CBA (read it all here) agreed upon by Columbia and the West Harlem Local Development Corporation (WHLDC), CU will pay $76 million to the Benefits Fund controlled by the WHLDC. It has been argued, and was certainly argued loudly outside the Gates today, that this amount is insufficient (or worse, according to the semi-reliable NYPost) for Columbia/West Harlem residents and workers. Public Safety shut the Gates, then opened them to let in tourists, the protesters moved across the street, and everyone simmered down. Update: The NYT caught on!

PrezBo took the stage next (after having crushed the protesters with his bare hands; just another Monday morning) and made a joke about Glee that was justified by his claim that “someone told me that one would work as a joke.” He congratulated the graduates and reminded them that, “Facilities has asked me to remind you that the red flag [on South Lawn] is up today.” His PSA was greeted with a round of boos, to which PrezBo, responded, “life is tough, I know.” Oh Lee C, just tell us you love us back!

At last, it was time to graduate. The Advising Deans took turns calling everyone’s name, a difficult task that they looked tremendously relieved to have survived by the time that “Kev” yelled “The Class of 2010!” and, just like magic, the Clefhangers showed up! We all sang “Roar, Lion, Roar” with them and went to Hamilton Lawn for snacks.

CC 2010, we are very proud of you, and we’ll miss you. Congratulations!

Sort of like this, but baby blue and white

Just like last year, the Empire State Building will be blue and white this Tuesday for Commencement. You have Whitney Green, ESC, and the American Dream to thank.

Do you hear that, Columbia? That’s the sound of 2013 rolling their blue bins (don’t forget to donate) towards the family car, stopping along the way to embrace their floormates like it’s the last day of sleepaway camp and the buses just rolled up. Most of you should be finishing up exams right about now, making important choices, and preparing to move back to Montclair or, jeez, to graduate. Class of 2010: Columbia has put out the chairs and assembled the mini-jumbotrons. You know, that way they’ll just be there for five days for no reason.