They’re here! But what shall we call them? Bwog has learned some things during our time at Columbia, namely that all the things you thought you knew are probably wrong and everything you hold dear is probably the cause of some deep-rooted societal problem. We figure our readers are pretty smart, and could help us figure out how to avoid continuing this centuries-old tradition of political incorrectness. Find us a suitable replacement for the “Christmas tree” by voting in our poll. Here are your options, ordered to reflect the current standings:

• Dank Pine
• Presents’ Umbrella
• Holiday Bush
• Communitree
• Capitalist Conifer

Maybe we should just ask them

We hear he's partial to the milkshake cupcake

Bwog’s coming at ya with an early morning news flash: the new Crumbs location on 109th and Broadway will be giving out 1,000 (yes, as in a thousand) free cupcakes tomorrow (today?). But you best be off to sleep soon if you’re looking to nab one; they open at the inconceivably early hour of 7 am(!). Our recommendation: grab one whilst still in pj’s, then scoot back to bed for a nap before your 9 am. You deserve it.

Update, 8:00 am: The lovely people at Crumbs told an early rising Bwogger that they’ve only distributed 20- 30 cupcakes in the last hour, so there are still over 950 free cupcakes left for the taking. You can choose any cupcake you want for free, no matter the price. “Pick the most expensive one you can,” the cashier advised. And there’s no line!

Update, 1:05 pm: Still 200 cupcakes left.

Update, 3:11 pm: And they’re gone! Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

It’s as easy as that! So easy that we feel you’ll even be able to understand if we give you directions in the form of a poorly written poem. Without further ado:

Have midterms got you feeling blue?
Then perhaps a small cupped cake will do.
It may not help you pass,
And might add some fat to your ass,
But it is hard to beat
A yummy baked treat.

To Lerner ramps you must scurry
From noon till one-thirty
And if you want food for free,
Sporting blue you best be.
So come on, for Pete’s sake,
Go get a sweet cuppin’ cake!

Or in prose: In honor of Homecoming Week, the student councils will be giving out free cupcakes on the Lerner ramps from 12:00-1:30 to anyone wearing blue.

Update: There is a BBQ on Lehman Lawn from 11:30-1:30 to celebrate Founder’s Day at Barnard. It’s free for BC, but Columbia students have to swipe a meal to get in.

This could be you!:

Doubts about your summer plans making your tummy tremble? Post up in 502 Lerner tonight at 9 pm for free cookies, cupcakes and milk at an info session for Ivy Summer Management Program hosted by Jeremy Slawin CC ’11 and Shelly Xu CC ’13.

Then, head over to the Relay For Life Kickoff in 101 Diana Center, inside Liz’s Place Cafe at 9:30 pm to decorate free freshly baked cupcakes with colored frosting, sprinkles, and white chocolate chips and a chance to sign up for Relay For Life.

Cupcake prince via wikimedia.

Bwog has been hanging around Joe quite a bit for the past few weeks. We’ve reviewed the vittles, invited you inside of our brain, and learned the true meaning of cupping. Below, Delicious Dessert Correspondent Diana Clarke reports on Joe’s newest addition, Robicelli’s cupcakes. Today’s flavors, Partida Tequila and Abuelita:

I almost missed National Tequila Day. Did anybody even know that was a thing? Robicelli’s, the greatest homeless cupcake bakery in the city of New York, realized it was definitely a thing when the Partida Tequila people told them. So naturally, Robicelli’s decided to make limited edition Partida Tequila cupcakes. Then everyone’s favorite new campus espresso bar Joe decided to start carrying Robicelli’s cupcakes. And that is how I came to eat a tequila cupcake yesterday in the Northwest Corner Science Building.

Frosted with pale green buttercream and topped with lime slice candied in agave, the cupcake smelled immediately of lime and butter. The frosting alone was rich and smooth but still light, and tasted of key lime pie. The cake, meanwhile, had a spongy moist crumb that didn’t fall apart, with a faint flavor of tequila. Chewy and sweet, the slice of lime offered a stronger tequila taste. Nobody got buzzed in the midafternoon, but one of my friends called the Parida Tequila “one of the best non-chocolate cupcakes I’ve had.” Read on for more tasty goodness

Dearest friends,

The staff of The Blue & White (pictured at right) humbly requests your presence at our meeting/soiree tonight. We’ve bought you chocolates and cheap liquor, won’t you be our valentine?

We convene on this romantic, starry night, Monday night, at 9 o’clock in the basement grotto of St. Paul’s Chapel! We’ll be discussing our cover illustration, our Postcard from Morningside, and helping a few writers finish their pieces for the upcoming issue. Pitches for next issue (due out in late March or early April) are also welcome!

With undying love,

The Editors.

Want to take a quick break from the sun? CU Search is holding its closing event in Furnald right now, and tipsters tell Bwog that there are “over a hundred cupcakes!!!” Enjoy the frosty goodness. 

Alternatively, Fu Foundation Bureau Chief Sean Zimmerman recommends the Tae Kwon Do tournament currently going on in Dodge. He sends us this action shot.

Free cupcakes and oreos are available right now the Broadway lobby.

They’re apparently for the Senior Fund, but everyone’s allowed to indulge their sweet tooth. Hurry!

UPDATE: Commenters report that there’s also a free chocolate fountain in the EC Lobby! Oh, happy days…

Oh look the weather is terrible.

Bwog strongly suggests you take refuge from this hellscape that’s been parading around as “autumn” in the Lerner Piano Lounge from noon to 1 PM. There will be a jazz trio! Or if jazz isn’t you thing, there are pumpkin pies and cupcakes, plus hot apple cider and hot chocolate. 

For those of you who haven’t yet gotten your dream job offer, you may want to consider going to the Broadway Sky Lounge tonight from 7:30 PM to 9 PM, where you can discuss what you’re going to do with your BA with other soon-to-be graduates.

Seniors who gloated at the news that next year Columbia is effectively preventing its students from studying for finals may be in for some schadenfreude this evening, as underclassmen can again remind themselves in the fact that seniors are, you know, adults come May.

But don’t look so glum! There will be fancy downtown cupcakes of the Magnolia variety at this group freak-out thing. 

That’s right, boys and girls–free cupcakes from the Class of 2011, bespangled in the old red white and blue (because there’s an election day going on or something? Maybe just because it’s Thursday).

Hope they’re red velvet!

The pastry-savvy members of the American Medical Students Association are having a festive, Halloween-y bakesale on the Lerner Ramps from now until 5 PM. Proceeds will benefit their spring break trip to Peru.

The table is stocked with your usual bake sale fare, with a welcome emphasis on cupcakes. And then there are also chocolate chip cookies with orange and black chocolate chips. It’s really quite something.

Everyone Allied Against Homophobia is sponsoring a cupcake-based study break tonight. They have even imported fancy cupcakes from famous downtown bakery Magnolia. 

Go to the Stephen Donaldson Lounge (located in the basement of Furnald) at 9 PM tonight for frosting, fun, etc. 

The Dems are on the ramps of Lerner, distributing cupcakes to anyone who will sign a petition to lower the price of birth control on campus. Due to the oversight of some legislative intern (probably a college student him- or herself), college students have lost the price reduction on birth control that kept us hiploose and fancy-free. There’s a whole box of cupcakes waiting for you to fight for your rights, but make haste and grab one of the last sprinkly ones!

Tucked away in Lewis Parlor in the Barnard Quad is a very special kind of celebration. The kind that happens every four years. To celebrate 2008′s leap year status, McAc Events—which in four years can hopefully be called LexisNexUS—is sponsoring a leap year cupcake decoration snacktime extravaganza, or something. 

The cupcakes are stacked high on black trays, and frosting of all sorts (from chocolate to milk chocolate to chocolate fudge) is scattered on a table between bags of sprinkles and candies.

Read more…