How do you plan to start your morning?

The Yale Police Department is currently investigating a possible sexual assault involving Yale undergraduates at a “naked party” thrown by the Pundits, Yale’s senior prank society. Perhaps this is why Columbia never has naked parties…(underwear parties don’t count!) (NYDN, YDN)

We hope your first meal today looks as fun as these breakfasts do. Personally, Bwog prefers its eggs smiling. (City Room)

A slide from a US Air Force Anti-Terrorism Training Course cites universities like Harvard, Columbia, and USF for inviting Islamic professors to their campuses who facilitate the “brainwashing [of] the academic youth in America.” Apparently, university Muslim student groups have also been identified as “prime terrorism suspects in the United States.” (The Atlantic)

Wisconsin governor Scott Walker (R) begins the process for layoffs of 1,500 state employees, stating that layoffs would commence a month from now if his “budget repair” proposal isn’t passed. Should the 14 Senate Democrats return to Wisconsin, says Walker, these layoffs may be avoided. The 14 senators, however, claim they have no such plans. (WashPo, NYT)

Early this morning, Colonel Muammar el-Qaddafi’s militia stormed the rebel-controlled town of Zawiyah. Town residents call it a massacre. (GlobalPost, NYT)

For some midterm procrastination: play Rock-Paper-Scissors with a computer! We swear it’s more exciting than it sounds. (NYT)

This Bwogger’s Preferred Breakfast via Wikimedia Commons

Perhaps if you ask really nicely, they will do your feet. Probably not, though.

It’s been a very stressful week—sophomores made major decisions, everyone except for seniors chose 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, or none of their best friends to live with. Oh, and in case you haven’t noticed from all of our trite “Midterms are here!” ledes, midterms are here.

We’ve brought you Brocrastination, kept you up-to-date on current events, and even tried to reduce the overall amount of bitterness and angst in Butler with a series of adorable photos.

But in case you’re still stressed—and let’s face it, you are—the CU American Medical Students Association will be hosting a Midterm Mental Health event today from 12 to 4 pm at Low Plaza.

So take a break from Butler! Go hang out with the pre-med student hosts who probably have harder midterms than you do! Get a massage! Smash something! Make your own trail mix! Or get a massage while smashing the trail mix you’ve just made! Whatever. Just please stop camping.

Image via Wikimedia Commons.

Tipster Danielle Benson sent us a photo of this sign, found in the John Jay elevator. Apparently, certain elevator patrons have been removing light bulbs from the ceiling and smashing them on the ground. Clearly, the John Jay community is now speaking out against this gross violation of elevator etiquette. If smashing light bulbs was meant to relieve midterms stress, perhaps the culprits should’ve smashed things on Low on Wednesday with AMSA instead. In these trying times, constructive stress relief is key.

Play nice, first years.

There’s nothing like naïve young hopefuls to feed our raging narcissism.

We know how to procrastinate, thank you very much.

Speak for yourself while you revel in your awkward ways.

How to lie, cheat and steal your way through midterms.