Through the grapevine, Bwog has been hearing rumors that in attempts to safeguard against theft, Public Safety has plans to begin taking unattended laptops in Butler. Oddly enough, this is one rumor that turned out to be kind of true, in a vague, quasi-benevolent way.

Ricky Morales, Crimes Prevention Manager at Public Safety clarified: “It’s not just that we go over there and we take it. It’s a whole educational process.” According to Morales, Public Safety has been meeting with members of the University Senate and library security to design a process of reminders and education/awareness about property theft that culminates with a possible meta-theft. Explains Morales, Public Safety is “not taking [unattended property], but safeguarding it from people.” In other words: thieving the property to protect it from thieves. 

- JNW

A few tipsters have sent Bwog links to a website called EveryBlock. Users can search by zip code or address to find out all sorts of neat things about a neighborhood like elevator malfunctions, construction work violations and grossest of all: restaurants’ health code violations. 

Kitchenette scored a moderately upsetting 14 points, the most nauseating of which was “food surface not washed.” Other points came from the failure to “post signs” or have a working thermometer.  

An impressive 29 points were awarded to Subconscious. Apparently they’re still serving NYC-banned trans fat, among other things.

But today’s big winner is John Jay. During its inspection at the end of January, John Jay Dining Hall racked up a positively baller 32 points for everything from inadequate lighting to “food not protected from contamination” to mice.  

In comparison, Hewitt Dining Hall only had 9 points of violations, the most egregious of which were “flying insects” and the cryptic “Other/Employee in separate smoking room.”

Read more…

A tipster alumnus points out this article in the Village Voice from last week in which local writers name their favorite writer-y watering holes. The Sabotage Cafe author Joshua Furst selected Columbia standby 1020, and explained: “Not that many bars in the city where you can talk about Foucault for two hours.”

Of course, while actual conversation at 1020 is less Foucault and more fou-cking, Bwog offers accolades to the bar for making the cut.

- JNW

Wien residents may have noticed catered goods and earnestness currently occupying the first floor lounge. The cause celebre is a buffet dinner to mark the completion of successful year of a conference of acronyms aplenty: CIRCA, is the Columbia International Relations Council and Association, and they hosted the Columbia Model United Nations Conference and Exposition, or CMUNCE, which is pronounced like the novelty pet. 

There were 362 high school participants in this year’s conference, which differs from typical Model United Nations conferences because the committees are not UN-based. Jon Hollander, CC ’10, explain that this gave organizers the freedom to create more interesting situations. One example from this year: The Israeli committee was instructed to purchase weapons from the plastic gun-toting Mafia committee. “The weapons were to fight the Arabs,” said Hollander. However Israel inexplicably wound up entangled in a Middle Eastern drug ring, and “the Mafia kidnapped Israel instead.”

There were nearly 80 Columbia University students who organized the conference and one from City College. “He’s dating someone from Columbia,” Scott St. Marie, CIRCA’s treasurer, explained.

For four days, the high schoolers and organized capitalized on what was described as a copious fake-blood supply, took turns riding a broom-turned-horse (“Everyone rode that horse this weekend,” said St. Marie), and used fake guns to their advantage. The one rule? According to St. Marie: “Don’t touch the delegates; you can’t touch the high school students.” Andrew, another organizer, walked by and made air quotes with his fingers. “Touching,” he laughed.

Hollander and Maria Insalaco, CC ’09, cited this year’s CMUNCE as the most successful in its seven year history. “Should we tell her about the door?” Hollander asked Insalaco under his breath. “No, Hamilton facilities will just find that out,” she answered.

- JNW

2012’s Facebook half-life began with Simon H.’s creation of “Columbia – Class of 2012.” Early decision applicants were notified online of their acceptance at 5pm, and by 7pm, the group’s ranks had reached 50. Mere days later, the Facebook group is brimming with 276 members—including one confused Brown 2012 pre-frosh who is “not sure if we are rivals or not.” Proud papa Simon H. has even provided a chronological history of the group’s membership:

    Dec 11. 6 members

    Dec 12. 84 members

    Dec 13. 170 members

    Dec 14. 216 members

    Dec 16. 271 members

Hot topics like senioritis (“B’s are the new A’s,” insists Kyle M.) and the swim test—Harrison S. prefers doggie paddle and prefers that you know it—fill
the group’s Wall. Discussions about dorms and drinking are good places to spot the group’s early alpha males and females. Natassia M. states that “Carman sounds like a plan” and is echoed with rallying cries of agreement and disbelief: “Carman sucks, theres throwup and shit everywhere, all the girls and ugly and the ra’s are the biggest assholes everywher,” maintained Dhruv V., who himself is actually CC ’11. Dhruv, a wizened elder and Furnald devotee is a major presence amongst 2012’s blossoming (and depressing) cyber-society.

Marginal topics like “dorms” and “academics” aside, one group of 12s wants to know: “Who says Ivy Leaguers don’t party hard?!?!?” Probably the same people who say Ivy Leaguers can punctuate!!11!eleventyone!1

The “The Columbia University Class of 2012 is Ready to Party” has a predictable agenda. “We should all meet up sometime before august… and party :) “ suggests Carolyn M.  

But no one could accuse the hard-partying 12s of not being efficient: To wit, they have an email address of the most official capacity: readytoparty@2012.com. You know, to fake arrange the fake partying electronically.

UPDATE 12/17: The end… it’s near!

- JNW

Today, Jake Shapiro, son of J-School professor Michael Shapiro and New York Times foreign editor Susan Chira, became a man. Bwog found Jake playing air hockey on the fifth floor of Lerner. Jake, a student at School at Columbia, had arrived minutes earlier from his Torah reading, for which he explained he was “troubled by disturbing suspense.” 

Easily defeating his opponent from a second game of air hockey, Jake stepped away from the table and reported that he was having a lot of fun. Though he “didn’t have a favorite present” and says he hasn’t opened them all yet, he spoke excitedly about the Mac (with Leopard!) his parents had given him for his 13th birthday.

It was four years ago that Jake’s sister, Eliza, a 17-year-old who hopes to go to Columbia (welcome to CC ’12, Eliza!), also held her Bat Mitzvah reception in Lerner. Jake isn’t sure whether or not he plans on applying here, but hopes to become a scientist. “Well, a scientists who teaches,” he clarified.

Jake’s ten-year-old cousin, Luke, son of Columbia Shakespeare professor James Shapiro, was also in attendance. Luke looked positively dapper in a red power-tie and crisp white oxford. Though Luke played basketball for the entirety of the interview, he categorized the foosball table as his “favorite game here.”

Luke, ever a gentleman and a scholar, diplomatically explained that he didn’t have a favorite Shakespeare play, but he’s “seen a lot of plays and likes them all.”

Suddenly, a man came bounding down the Lerner ramps. “Hi, Jake?” he asked, joining the conversation with a furrowed brow. “Hi, Dad!” Jake replied, cheerily.

Journalism professor Michael Shapiro introduced himself to a sheepish Bwog. He eyed Bwog’s reporter’s notebook and digital camera. Jake scurried to greet guests, Luke returned to his electronic indoor basketball.

– JNW

It’s stroller gridlock on South Lawn.

Kids and parents from Park Slope to the Upper West Side have gathered in front of Butler for the New York Times‘ “Sunday of free fun for book-loving families.” It’s a day of book signings, giveaways, readings, and performances and toddlers have gathered en masse in inappropriately autumnal apparel.

Throughout the day, “notable New Yorkers” will be reading from beloved children’s book, including Stacy London (host of What Not to Wear) reading Clementine, NYPD Commissioner Raymond Kelly reading Green Eggs and Ham, and Blues Clues host Steve Burns reading Bud, Not Buddy. Bwog was kind of hoping for a Giuliani reading of The Lorax, but alas.

Read more…

A crowd of about 100 people marched from Earl Hall to Teachers College around 11:00 PM tonight in response to the incident earlier today involving a hanging noose found tied to the door of an African American professor. Earlier today, WNBC identified the professor as Madonna G. Constantine, who teaches psychology and education.

Protesters yelled several different chants including “We will not be silent!” and “Bollinger’s house for justice!” at which point about twenty people broke off from the main crowd on the steps and attempted directing the protest towards Broadway. Organizers quickly hurried people back toward the steps.

The chant changed to “Strike if we must!” Bwog asked a Teachers College student (who prefers not to disclose her name) what exactly the strike was supposed to

accomplish. “We will wear all black tomorrow and we are going to walk out of classes. We’re trying to change this racist organization. We’re going to the Town Hall meeting tomorrow.”

The march occurred after 9:00 PM emergency meeting that filled the main auditorium in Earl Hall. At the meeting, students decided to support a rally at 2:00 PM tomorrow at the 120th St. gates. NBC and CBS were there under mountains of black umbrellas and were pulling students under cover for interviews and pull quotes, one reporter furiously Blackberry-ing the entire affair.

Bwog has been experimenting with Google Docs, the friendly and clean web-based word processor, (really the West Side Market of word processors). It seems that under the “Word Count” feature, the program will tell you the grade-level equivalent of your writing. We played around with this feature using some of our favorite theorists, celebrities, novelists, and lolcats!

“A civilization that proves itself incapable of solving the problems it creates is a decadent civilization.” – Aime Cesaire, Discourse on Colonialism (Grade level: 15)

“Nurture an appetite for being puzzled, for being confused, indeed for being openly stupid, and that – despite what you may think – is very difficult…We all know the cliche’ that a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing. It is also true that a lot of knowledge can be a dangerous thing as well…use your ignorance as well as your knowledge for creative means.”- Lee C. Bollinger (Grade level: 3)

“The other did not move, jackknifed backward between the two bunks, grave and clean, the cigar burning smoothly and richly in his clean and steady hand, the smoke wreathing upward across his face saturnine, humorless and calm.”- William Faulkner, Old Man (Grade level: 4)

“I can has cheezburger?”- lolcat (Grade level: 2) Read more…