As you’ve probably noticed, a main staircase in Lerner has been broken since last week, making the irritating trek from the ground floor to the package center a nauseating ramp-circling odyssey. We thought that the stairs might only be closed for a day or two, but now that the repairs are stretching into their second week, we’re forced to ponder the deeper implications of this bizarre facilities maintenance. What’s the deal, Columbia? Is it just about to collapse?

No stairs for you.

Looking for love in NYC sure is tough. That’s why you’ve gotta know what you’re looking for and go for it, directly. With a want-ad. This “strong and beautiful soon-to-be working woman” has no qualms about that. So if you’re male, handsome, and know how to massage feet…

An alternative to OKCupid

Bringing you the lastest in Morningside minutia: the Lerner stairs between floors two and three are broken. This is really important for everybody who checks their mailbox, and/or takes the stairs.

Artist's rendering of Lerner, circa 2012

Sean Zimmermann gives the scoop on the latest dealings of the math-ier side of student government.

Council member William Cybriwsky gave a presentation on how it would cost a mere $123 to purchase a video game system (with games and four controllers) that could be checked out for student use in Lerner. According to his master plan to make Lerner, well, fun, students or groups would be able to rent video game systems from the front desk, and connect them to the televisions in Lerner—which he claims are not being used “effectually” (they are currently used to broadcast information from the student councils. We’ll leave it to you to decide how effective they are…). Ideally, this would turn Lerner from that place you go for mail and meetings into that place you go for mail and meetings and then stay at to play Mario Kart for five hours.

Much more effective use of Ferris Booth’s second floor via Wikimedia Commons

So long, and thanks for all the free food.

Broke? Hungry? Luckily, you’ve got quite a number of options to chose from tonight and we’re here to help you navigate the smorgasbord of free food at your fingertips.

At NYClash, teams from Columbia, Fordham, NYU, and Rutgers square off on an eternal question that has perplexed many a puzzled pre-frosh: Liberal Arts or Engineering? For everyone else, there will be free snacks and refreshments from 6:30 to 8:30 pm at the Roone Arledge Auditorium in Lerner, provided by event hosts Columbia Debate.

If your hunger (or intellectual curiosity) can’t be satiated by a mere snack, the free food and profound moral questions continue at the Undergraduate Philosophy forum. Pick up free pizza and soda at 8 pm in Philosophy 716 and tackle topics revolving around ethics, Western society, and their place in the American liberal arts education.

Finally, if that’s sounding a bit too intellectual for you (or if you still have room for more), get a different, but still completley free, taste of Columbia at the Bollywood Antakshiri Night. Ahimsa and the Organization of Pakistani Students will be providing a wide variety of free foods on the menu tonight, including dosas, samosas, spinach and cheese naan, and mango lassi. The event will be held in Lerner’s Satow Room on the fifth floor, starting at 8:30 pm.

Update: Even more free food! Election-Ready will be having free Havana Central empanadas (in addition to other undisclosed snacks) in the Lerner Broadway Room from 7 to 9 pm. The event is sponsored by Latino Heritage Month 2011, Caribbean Students Association, Barnard Organization of Soul Sisters, and the Columbia Political Union, to ensure that we won’t be making uninformed decisions in 2012 on an empty stomach.

Deep Thought via Wikimedia Commons

free food tips). One such lover of all foods free and monies unspent has made herself known to us, and we harassed her so much that she finally agreed to assess the quality, quantity, and pizazz of free food events around campus. Read on as The Scrounger scales the Lerner ramps like a superhero in plainclothes, and reports back about Live at Lerner’s latest study break.”>

Nothing says, "tangy, sweet, and free" quite like this seasonal cranberry bread. No, really.

Most people like to eat. Most people do not like to spend money (see: free food tips). One such lover of all foods free and monies unspent has made herself known to us, and we harassed her so much that she finally agreed to assess the quality, quantity, and pizazz of free food events around campus. Read on as The Scrounger scales the Lerner ramps like a superhero in plainclothes, and reports back about Live at Lerner’s latest study break.

Study breaks are a free food lover’s best friend. What better way to procure inappropriately large portions than to do so in a sea of stressed-out midterm-ers who can’t be bothered to look up from a problem set? The Live at Lerner study break this past Monday was no exception. With a chill soundtrack setting the tone for the occasion, those brave enough to leave Butler for new horizons (the Lerner Piano Lounge) were rewarded splendidly as attendees basked in the aura of free stuff.

Get your hands on one (or more) of these.

It may not be quite as exciting as a Saturday night, but Live At Lerner promises to be a free and relaxing break from cramming for midterms. There’s talk of stress-busting back rubs, free food (both healthy, and “comfort,” notes the Facebook event), a photo booth with props, and a pumpkin patch. 

Stop by Lerner Piano Lounge between 12 and 2 pm—because it’s better than spending an afternoon half-alive in Butler.

‘Kin via Wikimedia Commons.

“A lost battle is a battle one thinks one has lost.”
-Jean-Paul Sartre

Dysfunctional goings-on in Lerner lobby.

Lerner Hall will present a series of free concerts throughout the school year as part of their Live at Lerner concert series. From 12pm to 1pm, come see the world famous beatboxing flutist, Greg Pattillo, and his not-so-traditional chamber ensemble, PROJECT Trio. Pattillo is best known for his series of YouTube videos “Beatboxing Flutist”, where he remixes popular tunes with his unorthodox style of music. With some videos amassing over 25 million views, he’s basically a YouTube celeb. There will be free food!

Update: Gazpacho soup, vegetarian paella, Spanish salad of oranges, fennel, red onion and dressing, and a dessert of arroz con leche (rice pudding) are all on the menu for the low price of free!

In the mean time, you might be wondering what Live at Lerner is all about. We got in touch with Yanyi Luo, CC ’13, the student intern in charge of programming this year and self-proclaimed lover of puppies, to ask about Live at Lerner and their plans for the year.

What is Live at Lerner?

Live at Lerner is an initiative out of the Student Development and Activities Office (in the Division of Student Affairs); the entire team comprises of me and my adviser. And we’re here to deliver high-quality events that anyone in the Columbia community can enjoy.

When was Live at Lerner created and for what reason?

The official blurb is “since 2000, Live at Lerner has been committed to fostering the Columbia community through free or low-cost events of diverse culture and ideas at a center for student life,” and it’s also to get people to see Lerner as a student center. I think beyond that, though, it’s a genuine attempt from the administration here to connect to the rest of the Columbia community. Why else would they hire a student to help plan and coordinate events?

Read more after the jump.

Update: The Package Center is open again, but the line is reportedly “ridiculously long,” and you still need your rack number. For those of you without smart phones, this means planning ahead (!).

According to a tipster, Lerner’s package database is down. Although earlier today that only meant you’d need your package’s rack number listed on the email, they’re now closed for “at least an hour.” And that’s by their own estimation. How will you get all your weird shit and fake IDs now?

Someone in Hogan is projecting this animated gif onto the side of Lerner right now, and it’s rightfully trippy. Bwog hopes this isn’t the last we see of creative* projector use!

*yet tasteful

Photos tipped by Lila Neiswanger

The learning starts today. Gather with philosopher queen Christia Mercer (substitute for Lit Hum legend Gareth Williams in the graph) to pore over the Iliad that you’ve all finished weeks ago! Head over to Lerner, the big glass thing, at 2:30.

Graphic by Jon Hill

Like that of Shakespeare, the pen (keyboard) of Bwog knows no bounds.

There’s a lot to overhear in Lerner, from the incessant piano playing to the chiming of elevators as they go up and down and up and down or sometimes just linger on one floor with their doors opening and closing. Oh, and then there are the student conversations.

Without further ado, we present a series of vignettes from a several hour stint in everyone’s favorite glass house.

A Night in Lerner: A Non-Musical.

Act I, Two students walk through Lerner; they ponder the existential questions of life, much like the content of a Beckett work.

Girl: “I’m talking about like psychological shit bro, like, I can break your ass down!”
Guy: “…did you just say ‘bro?’”

Act II, A group of three students discuss the nature of true love.

Guy: “You have to make sure that you let him know that you like him…”
Girl 1: “Well, that’s the thing, I made a mistake. I told him I liked him.”
Guy: “You what?”
Girl 2: “Yeah, that was a mistake…”
Guy: “What?! Obviously!”

Act III, Faced with difficult choices, a male student questions his identity and the identities of others.

Male student: “By the way, so you’re CC?”
Female student: “…”
Male student: “Barnard? I’m sorry, I’m an Applied Math major, so this happens sometimes.”
Girl student (later): “So… you’re really SEAS?”

WillShake via Wikimedia Commons.

alarming

Ferris Booth and everything else got cleared out around 8:30 am! Sorry to you who were planning on a quick bite before your 9 am. For those of you arriving after it ends–maybe try to squeeze a free meal out of Ferris in the post-drill rush?