Update: The band has provided a video showcasing assorted jokes and songs from last night. Relive the action below.

Last night, Butler 209 played host to Orgo Night, one of Columbia’s time-honored traditions and the reason many upperclassmen choose to move off campus. Bwog will have a full review later today, but for now, check out some pictures of the festivities and peruse the script.

Pics courtesy of Roko Rumora, Dylan Lonergan, Raphaelle Debenedetti, and Peter Sterne

Read the script!

As Spec, Deadspin, ESPN, the Wall Street Journal, and the New York Post have recently reported, the Columbia University Marching Band has been banned from performing during the football team’s final game of the season against Brown on Saturday.

Last Saturday at Cornell, football coaches overheard the band performing an alternate version of the fight song that mocked the Columbia team. “We always lose, lose, lose; by a lot and sometimes by a little,” the lyrics read. (The team is 0-9, and gave up 62 points in the Cornell game). Coaches alerted the Athletics department, which soon introduced the sanctions. The ban means that the band is prohibited from bringing their uniforms and instruments to the game, and they won’t be allowed to perform pre-game or halftime shows. Many are upset since the Brown game is traditionally when CUMB and other Columbia spirit groups celebrate the senior members of the football team and band.

While the band has gotten in trouble before (most notably for mocking the priest sex abuse scandal at Fordham in 2001 2002 and the Vietnam War at West Point in the 70s), this is the first time the band has been banned from Columbia’s own stadium. This is also the first time the band has gotten in trouble for singing one of their many alternate versions of the fight song, which a bandie told Spec “are meant only for the band bus and Orgo Night.” The lyrics that offended Athletics were written earlier this year and had been sung at the end of a few football games before they were overheard.

When we contacted Head Manager Jose Delgado about the incident, he only provided the official comment below, adding, “Any future comments will be made after the football game to maintain the focus on our players and classmates”:

The Columbia University Marching Band would like to apologize to the members of our community, in particular to our fellow classmates and coaches, who were offended by the incident that occurred on November 12 at the Columbia vs. Cornell football game. We accept the consequences and look forward to continue to be a part of our school spirit for future athletic events. We are disappointed that we will be unable to perform at Saturday’s football game – the last game for seniors both in the band and on the football team. All season, we have been ardent supporters of the football team, rain or shine. The band will be at Saturday’s game just as we are every week cheering for our Columbia Lions, win or lose. We look forward to supporting our athletic teams for many years in the future.

Spec reported that “many members instead belted an original verse that reflected the losing ways of Lions football.” It is still unclear whether singing the alternative verse was a premeditated decision or whether they’ve gotten any feedback from the football team.

UPDATE: According to Spec, the Athletics department relented and will now let CUMB play at this Saturday’s game against Brown. The band’s managing board released the following statement:

The band is grateful to have been told this evening that the Athletic Department will allow us to attend the football game this Saturday against Brown. We look forward to honoring the senior class – both on the football team and in the band – and cheering the Columbia Lions on to victory.

The band’s Twitter confirms this.

Marching fellow via cumb.org

one from a commenter or CUMB’s YouTube channel.”>

Chief Ref Room Correspondent Sameea Butt forayed a floor below her usual spot to recap yesterday evening’s this morning’s Orgo Night. If you want to see video, you can check out one from a commenter or CUMB’s YouTube channel.

There was a little more excitement than expected in 209 last night, as the crowds sweated it out for the “53rd consecutive, 69th semi-annual drive to lower the curve in Organic Chemistry.” As usual, there were people piled atop desks and chairs, kids squeezed between anxious band groupies, dudes passing out CULPA fliers (do it, comrades!) and diligent students trying, also as per usual, to study through the ruckus. In what we naively hope was a rare display of school spirit, the eager audience burst into applause before the band even got there and started singing the Fight Song… yeah they were probably just jazzed about school ending.

A guy in a fedora led a slow clap to herald the band’s actual entrance. They proudly marched in playing the “Roar, Lion Roar,” with a few sporting sunglasses and one member carrying what this Bwogger heard described as “ohmygod an inflated penis!”

The speakers, Tyler Benedict, CC ’13, and Travis Alvarez, CC ’12, started the night off with a topic still fresh in students’ minds: the “bureaucratic error” that forced Bacchanal to move to the lawns.” Also, please step back from the fence. The show cannot continue unless you step back.” Someone from the crowd responded with a shout out to the co-president of Bachannal: “We love you Jody.” Shit happens, we forgive you too.

The crowd seemed largely to agree with the band’s assessment of Bacchanal this year: “saying ‘Snoop Dogg is coming to campus!’ is a lot more fun than him actually being here.” Although people were visibly annoyed by the comment, “Guess they [the barely-intelligible Das Racist] shouldn’t have booked the sound guys from the Varsity Show,” two band members shouted “Swag, swag!” The band then played “Push It,” “in honor of sticking your dizzle in a hot piece of pizzle and doing it all night lizzle”.

Read more…

Today is the greatest day in the world—the day the noble Prince William marries his college sweetheart, the “commoner” Kate Middleton. It’s a story of love triumphing over society that has captured the hearts of Brits, admirers of royalty, and of course the media, from British tabloids and American gossip mags to the New York Times. It’s the perfect Lifetime movie. Seriously.

Of course, most Columbians can’t really relate to the happy couple. Sure, we can purchase a fake royal engagement ring and get a fake British noble name and title (or even buy your way into the real Scottish nobility), but it’s just not the same. Just because we get married at St. Paul’s instead of Westminster Abbey, though, doesn’t mean we can’t have our own storybook romances.

Last night, on college walk, a man proposed to his fiancée, accompanied by the Columbia University Marching Band! Taking a break from their usual snark, the Band joined forces with the groom-to-be to give him and his fiancée a sweet and special concert! Why call the Band in the first place? Apparently the couple first met at a bike ride last year, while listening to the Marching Band. Watch the video below to get the full story. All together now: Aww!

Tonight was Orgo Night, that (rare) cherished Columbia tradition, in which The Cleverest Band in the World occupies Butler 209 and strives to “lower the curve on the orgo exam” by telling raunchy jokes with topical music interspersed. Likely due to a number of recent events, 209 was buzzing by 11:10 p.m. By 11:20 Public Safety had arrived, and by 11:30, all library taboos were out the window! Burly Public Safety officers acted as bouncers, keeping disappointed students penned in the hallway.

As one freshman girl noted, “Orgo Night is harder to get in than Campo!”

At 12:00 a.m. sharp, CUMB entered that hallowed hall and proceeded to entertain.

CUMB teased the crowed early with a Vincenzo/drug bust joke, but then backed off and went for the Social Experiment. The band made classic riffs on paying Columbia students to talk to people, and referenced the Crimson article which belittled it. Harvard students, the band explained, had their fathers to buy them friends.

After playing “Tainted Love,” the band cheered the recent sorority recognition, noting that “one fourth of Barnard women are in sororities. In an unrelated Spectator article, one fourth of Barnard women have herpes,” to very mixed reactions. The band rejoiced in the sororities since Barnard had apparently lacked a place for women to join together in sisterhood, at least until the recent mandatory meal plan, because friends who “binge together, purge together.” Again, mixed reactions.

At the end of “Stacy’s Mom,” CUMB moved on to Assange. The “secrets” released by Wikileaks are really no big deal, the band believes. “Saudi Arabia supporting terrorism? Afghanistan being a shitshow? Those things are about as secretive as a SEAS kid’s porn addiction.” Next they stopped by the email from SIPA, and mused why art majors didn’t get such an email. After a few more Barnard jokes, they played “Toxic.”

Next our marching band advised the crowd on TSA travel tips. If you’re a SEAS student and get patted down, refrain from ejaculating—CUMB knows that to you “a foreign touch is your left hand.” But it’s no big deal, the band comforts, because being groped by high school dropouts is just like a Well Woman center. “Sweet Dreams” came next.

Gender-neutral housing was praised. The band wondered, why are these conservative pundits complaining we’ll live in sin on our parents’ dime? “Haven’t they been to college?” And it’s great for another reason: “Barnard students can spend the night with a guy and see him again.”

Finally, what the crowd had been waiting for: Epstein. A concerned citizen called CrimeStoppers because he heard exuberant cries of “Who’s your daddy?” from Epstein’s office. The crowd laughed, cried, groaned. The affair began, CUMB confided, when at the breakfast table Epstein asked, “You come here often?” After being arrested in what the police called “Operation Poppa Cherry,” Epstein is on indefinite leave, probably to spend “less time with his family.” The band regaled the lovers with “Sweet Child of Mine.”

And in a grand finale, the band broke with word of the 5 Loko (groan). The band noted that frat boys often use drugs to get ahold of busts—but that the NYPD was doing it wrong using busts to get ahold of drugs. Then again, the dealers are party to blame. After all, when a GS student wants to “score some reefer, brah,” it is probably best to decline. The NYPD was unfair in naming it “Operation Ivy League,” they bemoaned—if NYPD arrested NYU students would it be called “Operation Safety School”? The band thanked their stars for the procrastination tool Bwog comments provided and congratulated campus news sources on their good work, but “not you Spectrum, nobody fucking cares.”

Sadly, this was where the show ended. CUMB advised the crowd to “try not to damage the shelves” on the way out, and everybody left feeling like we have a community here after all.

Photos by AB and CDS

It's rumored that they all looked like this.

Princeton’s marching band wended through campus this morning, terrorizing students with upbeat marching band tunes. Quelle horreur! The orange-clad individuals have committed such crazed acts in the past. The visit may or may not have been related to the Columbia-Princeton football game today at 12:30 p.m. on Robert. K. Kraft Field.

Update: COLUMBIA WON! REJOICE!

Tonight is the night before the organic chemistry final, and you know what that means. Yes: obscene humor, Barnard jokes, and chemistry word-play–all part of a typical Orgo Night. And that’s all this semester’s Orgo Night was: typical. However, it did have its entertaining parts, and it was a worthwhile Columbian experience, if only to say that you got to hear Barnard jokes in Butler.

The jokesters started off a little slow, and this slowness characterized much of the show, especially when compared to last semester’s performance, which was longer as well. The pair began making references to Deans and had a sly Varsity Show jab before moving on to cracking jokes about Bwog and Bwog commenters. These garnered laughs, but the main theme of the first act seemed to center around two controversial topics of the day: the Catholic priest molestation scandal and health care reform. The second topic’s story was based around Columbia enacting its own health care reform, and the audience seemed to receive this well. Again, there was your typical GS joke (Why is Health Services stopping coverage at age 26? “No one really cares about GS!”), but there were some better ones (CAVA will stop denying people due to pre-existing conditions, such as living in Carman).

As usual, the duo then continued lampooning current events. In this next segment, they managed to insult three major religions and joke about the crisis in Haiti, all while receiving the standard reaction of laughter-turned-groans from the audience. They then referenced Ahmadinejad’s recent return to the United States, asking why, if he hates America so much, he keeps visiting. This was craftily tied into a news topic of the day when it was announced that Ahmadinejad had just finished watching a Broadway play when he was shocked to discover his green 1998 Nissan Pathfinder was towed and Times Square cleared out. (To his credit, “bombs come standard” in Iran.)

Read more…

Bwog Sousaphone bureau chief Peter Krawzcyk stood on some poor first-year’s desk in 209 to attend this fall’s Orgo Night extravaganza.

This may come as a surprise to anyone of the several hundred that packed into a sweaty Butler 209 at midnight last night, but not everyone attended the fall iteration of the Marching Band’s semiannual Orgo Night performance on Wednesday. If you were too dedicated to studying, writing papers, your grades, your career, your sanity, and/or yourself to take an hour-long break in the name of Columbia spirit and comedy, you probably made the utility-maximizing decision (you econ major you) but you still missed a sometimes funny, if perhaps overly long show.

The show officially began just after 12:00 with the band marching into to the obligatory “Roar, Lion, Roar,” but the comedy started about half an hour earlier, when the Butler 209 began filling with boisterous expectant revelers, bewildering would-be diligent Literature Humanities studiers uninformed of the Orgo Night tradition, who desperately turned up their headphones as loud as they could before leaving to find shelter from the crowd. Post-fight song, the band kicked off the jokes by targeting PrezBo’s salary (“Do you know how hard it is to wake up in the morning knowing the President of the University of Tulsa makes more money than you?”) and recent 125^th st.-Toast bar brawler Lionel McIntyre (His favorite building is Harmony, because “he likes having a building named after his baby mama.”). Read more…

More specifically, join the Columbia Marching Band at midnight in Butler 209 for loud music and hilarity at Orgo Night.

To procrastination!

UPDATE (11:37 p.m.): Students have trickle in, and a Public Safety officer is standing ominously in the corner. Also, Hillel’s handing out stress balls.

UPDATE (11:50 p.m.): 9 minutes before start time, people have begun climbing on desks, and the Hillel stress balls are flying through the air. Bwog’s not sure that was their intended use.

UPDATE (12:45 p.m.): Show’s over folks – recap to follow shortly, followed by video tomorrow.