At our beloved Bookstore, you can buy strange and ostentatious shit. Why? Because Roar Lion!
But apparently their selection isn’t only limited to Columbia apparel. You can also purchase the inconsistently capitalized “Columbia Lions adidas TShirt.” But it’s not ‘Columbia Lions’ at all! It’s actually a Central Connecticut State University tee. Go figure, their colors are also blue and white, although not our blue.
The New York Times is reporting that federal investigators uncovered the existence of some crazy shit at a prestigious Columbia brain-scanning lab: Scientists regularly injected patients with a commonly used low-level radioactive substance that might have had traces of dangerous chemicals. Then some staffers tried to cover it up by forging documents. Um!
An internal investigation released on July 6 concluded that no one appears to have been harmed—many of the studies focused on imaging the brains of schizophrenics and other people with serious mood disorders—but the research at the lab, the Kreitchman PET Center on 168th street, is on hiatus, and some heads have already rolled. David I. Hirsh, Columbia’s executive vice president for research who, according to a letter from PrezBo posted in the comments, resigned on July 9 and will step down when a successor is named, told the Times, ”we are fundamentally reorganizing the lab’s management and operations in response to what the F.D.A. told us.”
More from the article (which, as of now, is the top story on the Times home page):
The F.D.A.’s latest investigation, which took place from Jan. 5 to Jan. 21, listed six categories of violations. It found that since 2007, “at least 10 batches” of drugs had been “released and injected into human subjects” with impurities that exceeded the level the lab had agreed to set. At least four injections “had impurity masses that more than doubled the maximum limit implemented.”
The report highlighted an equation that the lab routinely used, resulting in injections that exceeded the limit for acceptable impurities. The lab did not adequately check “the identity, strength and purity of each active ingredient prior to release” for injection into patients, the report said.
The first building to go up in Manhattanville will be the Jerome L. Greene Science Center, which will be used for brain research. Budum-ching!
In the words of our tipster: you stay classy, Columbia.
Everyone had a good time at GS Class Day. There was a brass band, there was a Korean pop star, and there was a Valedictorian named Brian Corman who made a speech. This was not an unusual thing for a Valedictorian to do, but Mr. Corman did something out of the ordinary: he stole a joke, just about word for word, from comedian Patton Oswalt. Corman inserted it into his speech as if that very anecdote had happened to him. Whoops!
Bwog really wishes we could relay the joke to you, but as soon as we signed on YouTube to find the video of GS Commencement, we found that the video had become private. We hear from the lucky few who got a look at the video before it was taken down that the joke centered around a scene in a Physics for Poets class, in which a GS student challenged a question on the exam, showing that GS students always think they’re right because they are always right. Watch Oswalt’s original version of the joke here.
A scan of Oswalt’s Facebook page reveals he is none-too-pleased. “Jesus fucking CHRIST,” he writes in response to a link showing Corman’s bit, “Again?” Oswalt is now figuring out how to get the snippet of video with Corman’s joke back so he can send it to the “several big media outlets” that are asking him for it. You read it here first, folks!
A final piece of advice for our readers: if you’re going to steal comedy bits, don’t steal from living comedians who use the Internet a lot. Steal from Milton Berle, he never tweets! A few pieces of evidence below, we’ll update you as events unfold.
Update, 1:30: And Columbia has put the video back up on YouTube! Scroll to 33:56 for Corman’s speech, and indulge in the barrage of comments. Columbia has added a meaty disclaimer to the video: It has come to our attention that a portion of our Valedictorians address at this years Columbia University School of General Studies Class Day was taken from a comedy routine by Patton Oswalt. Until today we were unaware of this conflict, and as an institution of higher learning that upholds the highest standards of respect for the works of others, we are deeply distressed that this has occurred. Columbia University and the School of General Studies do not condone the use of someone elses work without proper attribution. Mr. Corman has issued an apology to Patton Oswalt. — School of General Studies, May 25, 2010
Update, 4 PM: Dean of GS and Bwog Hero Peter Awn has issued the following statement about the debacle:
It has come to our attention that a portion of our Valedictorian’s remarks at this year’s School of General Studies Class Day was taken from a comedy routine by Patton Oswalt. As an institution of higher learning that places a core value on respect for the works of others, we were surprised and disappointed to have learned of this matter today. Columbia University and the School of General Studies do not condone or permit the use of someone else’s work without proper citation. The student speaker has appropriately issued an apology to his classmates and to Mr. Oswalt for failing to provide such attribution.
If you’re in GS, send along that apology right quick using our tip form.
Corman has also apologized directly to Oswalt, which the comedian related in a blog post on his website that he titled “Sloppy and Desperate.” Still, Oswalt writes that Corman “owned it all.”
Update, 5/26 2PM: Corman’s email to his GS ’10 classmates:
Dear Seniors,
I would like to apologize to the Senior Class for my actions on Class Day. As many of you know, I used one of Patton Oswalt’s jokes in my speech (the one about the Physics for Poets class). I sent an apology to Mr. Oswalt yesterday, and he has responded on his website. My intention was to have a funny story amidst the more serious parts of the speech to get a few laughs, and I was completely in the wrong for thinking that it was OK for me to take his story and make it my own. I am extremely sorry to the GS Senior Class for betraying their trust and embarrassing the school, and please know that I never meant to harm anyone by this.
Today is the last day to switch your classes to pass/fail, so if the pre-spring break midterm you just got back was not quite what you expected, switch now or take the letter grade.
Bwog’s chief grading transition expert Julia Mix Barrington alerted us that, for Barnard students, the switch to pass/fall is all done online, so save yourself a trip to the registrar and head to the joy that is eBear.
For the engineers among us who may have spent too much time watching robot death battles and too little time studying, today is the last day to drop a class for SEAS.
Well, about that: It turns out that it’s actually Sip that is going to be soon accepting Flex–a fact that’s been confirmed to Bwog by Michael Novielli of Student Auxiliary and Business Services–and the Hungarian was accidentally mislabeled in our tipster’s email. We’re very sorry for the error.
Still, Sip is offering Flex! Which is arguably just as exciting as a few hours ago when you thought the Hungarian was doing so.
Late-night news in “Giant Inflatable Penis-gate,” as the queer community has moved quickly to respond to the controversial editorial published in Wednesday’s Spectator. In addition to the factual errors, the editorial is also attracting controversy for alleging that Queer Awareness Month “must be sure to focus on awareness and education before revelry.” The “revelry” in question was Genderfuck, the underwear-only party held this past Saturday night.
Word of the editorial spread quickly through queer organizations on campus. About 20 students (including several leaders of the queer community) commented on the original editorial, and the Spectator uploaded Thursday’s letters to the editor before the rest of the site was updated. In addition, seven student groups have sent a letter to the Spec editorial board, calling the editorial “inaccurate, sensationalized, misinformed, and malicious” and demanding “sufficient space be given in the immediate future to concerned groups and individuals to offer editorial responses.” Finally, plans are already in place for a “kiss-in”/protest at the Spec‘s offices tomorrow at 12:15 PM.
In addition to publishing Thursday’s letters early, the Spec is considering a meeting with queer groups on campus, and a source tells Bwog that editor-in-chief Tom Faure will be penning an explanation of the editorial process in the same issue. The letter from the student groups to the Spec editorial board is posted after the jump.
UPDATE 3:26 AM: Faure’s aforementioned letter is also posted after the jump.
An amused tipster — who has thoughtfully already coined the phrase “Giant Inflatable Penis-Gate” — has just pointed Bwog in the director of Spec‘s recent correction to this morning’s staff editorial on Queer Awareness Month. The correction reads:
“Because of an editorial mistake, the original version misstated that Columbia Queer Alliance was responsible for Queer Awareness Month. While CQA and QuAM collaborate on some programs, QuAM is its own unique group. The editorial also misstated that a giant inflatable penis was part of QuAM’s opening tabling. It was in fact part of a different campus event.”
I lost a Paul Smith, multi-striped leather wallet (red, yellow, green, etc.) and it should have a insurance card and metro card among other things. Reward offered, wy2185@columbia.edu
Black puffy coat with two layers and Burberry plaid pattern on lining. Last seen at Lerner Party Space during Black Students Organization (BSO) party on January 20. Please contact jyc2130@columbia.edu if found. Reward offered.
Yellowish ivory scarf with a lot of print on it. Most likely to be found at 504 Diana or LRC SIPA. If found then you shall be rewarded with my eternal gratitude. Contact: an2503@barnard.edu
Last seen in the Hartley computer lab at around 9 am, on 1/30/12. No case; no password; background is a generic picture of a rower on a lake. About 2 years old and showing its wear. Contact: etp2109.
Last seen at Il Cibreo on January 19 around 1am. It’s beige cashmere with unique colors which complete the original burberry pattern. If you took it by accident please contact aln2133@columbia.edu. If you took it because you like it, not cool.
I lost my umbrella today in Schermerhorn 612. I had class until 12:15, went back tonight around 6 pm, and it was gone. It is Paris themed, so it has the eiffel tower, arc du trimpuh etc. Email lgg2110@barnard.edu.Thanks!
Picked it up in the Wien Courtyard. It is red, with like a somewhat paisley pattern on it, and has a turtle key-chain on it. Contact ecs2150@columbia.edu.
Late last night, we reported that the 
Late-night news in “
An amused tipster — who has thoughtfully already coined the phrase “Giant Inflatable Penis-Gate” — has just pointed Bwog in the director of 
Shocking Report from Bwog tipster Hillary Busis: The fire alarm in East Campus has gone off three times in about thirteen hours.
Cupcakes: The all-purpose graphic! Perfect for 
Collegeboxes screws up deliveries, not that’s it’s anything new.
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