Hello there! Are you in a living situation that is in some way notable? Do you like diamonds and fame? Would you like to be featured on Bwog then email us in a year when you’re looking for a job to ask us to remove your last name? Well, perfect.

Bwog is looking for living situations we’re dubbing “Powersuites.” If you live with notable campus people, or you’re all involved in one organization, or you all eat scrambled eggs for dinner only on Wednesdays, or you are in a living situation that you think is worth us writing about, tell us.

Email us at tips@bwog.com with the details on your Powersuite and why you think your suite deserves a spot in Powersuite history.

Image via Wikimedia.

Spotted: a broken Mets Logo Silly-Band

Bwog’s Dad jokes that he married Bwog’s Mom because she had memorized the entire lineup of the ’69 Mets . If only that were still something to be proud of…

Like Shakespeare and Sarah Palin, college students enjoy making up new words. HuffPo (that’s Huffington Post to you students who, er, haven’t read this article yet) recently did a piece on the language college students speak at schools that… aren’t Columbia, apparently. Here is Bwog’s comprehensive A-Z lexicon of all the words and phrases you will “>

Hawkma: Live it, learn it. Photo by RS

Like Shakespeare and Sarah Palin, college students enjoy making up new words. HuffPo (that’s Huffington Post to you students who, er, haven’t read this article yet) recently did a piece on the language college students speak at schools that… aren’t Columbia, apparently. Here is Bwog’s comprehensive A-Z lexicon of all the words and phrases you will actually need to successfully navigate your next four years’ worth of conversations (or at least, well, Bwog posts).

“El Presidente”: See PrezBo. “There goes El Presidente down College Walk, tall and proud—off to survey a couple more acres of New York real estate for another satellite campus, no doubt!”

“Strong, beautiful”: of, pertaining to, based on, or deriving from Columbia’s sister school, Barnard College. “Let’s head over to Hewitt for some strong and beautiful pasta from the Action Station!”

CC: Contemporary Civilizations, Core Curriculum, or Columbia College, depending on context. “CC is a huge pain in my ass.”/”CC is a huge pain in my ass.”/”CC is a huge pain in my ass.”

CrackDel: A popular local deli known in particular for its “Spicy Special.” Peak hours occur between 2AM and 4AM on Fridays and Saturdays. Not to be confused with HamDel. “Oh man, those Bud Lites at Delta Sig gave me the 4AM munchies like something fierce. Let’s go grab a sandwich at CrackDel.” Bonus: CrackDel delivers! 212-280-7329

DSpar: The strongest and most beautiful of the Barnardians, rarely spotted in heels lower than four inches. “Anna Quindlen and Dorothy ‘Double-D’ Denburg may be pretty hot stuff over at the ‘nard, but no one holds a candle to DSpar.”

FroSci: The bane of CC existence. Also known by the less apparently phonetic “FoS,” or simply as “Frontiers.” FroSci was coined by the Class of 2013, and has proved controversial in Bwog comments. Jim: “Want to go to that party at Beta and get really wasted?” Bob: “I wish I could, but I’ve got to finish this stupid FroSci problem set.”

FroYo: A tasty snack or dessert. Not to be confused with the foreign substance that comes out of the softserve machines at John Jay and Hewitt. “Oreo crumbles or no oreo crumbles, this shit isn’t cutting it. Let’s leave campus and go to Pinkberry for some real froyo.”

HamDel: Another, less popular Columbia deli, located on Amsterdam betwen 115th and 116th. Also home to the famous Amy. “I could really go for a Cubano right now at HamDel.”

Hawkma: short for Hawkmedinejad, the hallowed name of the frightening carnivorous bird that circles campus sometimes and devours weasels and other small mammals. Rose to fame in the 2007-2008 school year, the same year that the equally terrifying Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad came to speak at Columbia. “That’s nice that your family is here to move you in, but I wouldn’t take your little brother outside today; I heard that Hawkma is hungry and on the prowl.”

HuffPo: A popular website for US news. Special because it has its own College section. “I read on HuffPo that there’s a German college offering a flirting course. Maybe they should teach that at SEAS.”

Hum: a suffixal free morpheme used in conjunction with “lit,” “art,” or “music.” “I’m really not a humanities person. I’ll get Lit Hum over with now, but I’m leaving Art Hum and Music Hum ‘til second semester of senior year.”

Hungarian: A cake- and cookie-filled wonderland where people go to write and eat desserts that often taste of cardboard. There’s no Internet and no outlets, so it’s good for speed-writing papers. People who hang out there like to pretend a lot of things. “I would go study at Hungarian, but I don’t own a pair of oversized glasses.”

MiMoo: The grooviest CC dean around. “Everyone made fun of me when I said I wanted to be a philosophy major, but MiMoo assured me that being a thoughtful person is just as important as providing a real service to the world.”

MoWi: That supermarket people shop at, generally when they can’t make it to a better supermarket. (Grumble, grumble) “I wish I had more time to go grocery shopping and didn’t have to run to MoWi; these berries are three times moldier and three times more expensive than Westside’s.”

Philo: The very old, very entertaining literary society that holds weekly debates/open mic nights, among other events. Ellie: “Why is that kid walking around Lerner in judicial robes?” Ben: “Oh, he must be in Philo.”

PrezBo: That dude who runs our school, or the related hairstyle (toupée optional). Origin: VShow of years past. “Love your new haircut—rocking the PrezBo!”

VShow: Shorthand for the Varsity Show, which will put on its 117th performance this May. Used to be an actual variety show back in the day, now it’s a musical about Columbia with some dancing and sometimes some laughing. It’s tradition, kids.

Vag, the: The crude but unstoppable nickname for Barnard’s new student center, which was donated by alum Diana Vagelos. Known by boring people as the Diana Center. “Have you been to the Vag yet? I hear a lot of important people have gone inside. Let’s go see if it’s open.”

War on Fun: The explanation for your being written up twice already. Coined on Bwog by alum Katie Reedy. “Damn this War on Fun! I’m going to have my forties and drink them, too!”

And now for our final installment (phew!) of Senior Wisdom, we present to you our dearly near-departed Bwog and Blue & White seniors: Bwog and B&W editor emerita Juli Weiner and Bwog Editor emeritus James Downie, B&W managing editor and former daily editor Alexandra M., Hawkmadinejad editor Courtney D., and B&W senior editor Menachem Kaiser. Thank you for the less formal wisdom you’ve given us; we’ll miss you very much indeed.

Claims to fame:

Alex

Alexandra: Managing editor of the Blue and White, Ellen Page lookalike, Originator of the tradition of stopping by Deutsches Haus on the 20th of April and offering salutations

Courtney: Hawkmadinejad stalker, President of Vice of Conversio Virium. You know, the activities all parents foster in their daughters.

James: CU Dems freshman rep, SGB rep/secretary, Bwog Editor.

Juli: Bwog, Blue & White, and Wonkette editrix of yore.

Menachem: Blue & White senior editor with zero Bwog experience; NYU infiltrator extraordinaire; Reluctant C-spot editor (briefly); highly imaginative tour guide; only Jew in DDR club.

Where are you going?

Alexandra: Eurotripping to the town in Sicily where my grandmother was born (there’s a Club Med there now). From which I’ll somehow glean an idea of what to do with the next six months of my life.

Courtney: I’m applying to jobs across the country in my dream of becoming an aviculturist.

James: Reporting and researching for The New Republic in Washington, D.C. for a year. After that, who knows?

Juli: Online, Vanity Fair, and the East Village, in that order.

Menachem: Lithuania, courtesy of Fulbright grant

Three things you learned at Columbia:

Alexandra:

1. No one likes a sourpuss.
2. If they’re not your groceries, don’t eat them.
3. The locations of the cleanest bathrooms, the coolest water fountains, and the most reliable staplers on campus.

Courtney:

1. Don’t eat things with red food-coloring if you plan on drinking heavily.
2. It is less stressful to return my mother’s phone calls than to wait until she assumes I am dead and calls my friends and/or the police.
3. I love Mass at St. Paul’s; I especially enjoy Father Jacek’s sermons because he preaches beautifully about God’s love.

James:

1. It is extremely difficult to hide in a crowd when you are tall and have red hair. I do not have a future in covert ops.
2. If you can think of a talent, someone on campus probably has it.
3. People can go to an Ivy League college in the greatest city in the world, and still complain about everything.

Juli:

1. The world really is that small
2. How to use the word “reify” at opportune but tasteful moments
3. The value of the small-group dinner party

Menachem:

1. My world was a lot smaller than I thought it was
2. Being the only male in a dance class is awkward, no matter what, especially if you’re tall
3. How to write a jaw-dropping cover letter

James

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer:

Alexandra: My friends say, “Pretentious, but still get-along-able with.” “Good babysitter. Good stories.”

Courtney: I love kink, poetry, Jesus, and birds. I have thick skin. I write love sonnets. I own two busts of Chopin.

James: If I’ve made most people I know a little happier, that’s really all I can hope for.

Juli: I have actually never seen Hawkmadinejad! I’d like to stick around until that happens, at least.

Menachem: Page Six once mentioned that I went to a book party.

Any war stories from the War on Fun?

Alexandra: I spent a day in the Midtown Community Court after two cops caught me drinking underage in front of the Hard Rock Café. I was downing malt liquor out of a water bottle. A cup from McDonald’s would have been better.

Courtney: I was asked to cease my incredibly dirty dancing at Genderfuck 2008.

James: The strangest part of this year’s 40s on 40 was the fifteen or so administrators vigilantly watching over us on the steps. You know a bureaucracy has too many people when that many officials have two or three hours free to stand around. Oh, and coffee cups make the best containers.

Juli: My only run-in with college law-enforcement occurred at NYU. (I was warned by a Hayden RA that I would be forbidden from entering the NYU housing lottery if I was caught drinking in academic buildings again.)

Menachem: Not really. My neighbor did, however, get arrested after masturbating on the roof.

Juli

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese?

Alexandra: The latter, for a proportional increase in the former. I get cranky without cheese.

Courtney: My main kinks are unrequited love and impact play, so I would give up oral sex.

James: As far as I know, supermarkets don’t give out free samples of the former. They also give you weird looks when you ask.

Juli: I’m supposed to say “oral sex,” right?

Menachem: Does any lactose-tolerant non-vegan really choose oral sex?

Any advice for the Class of 2014?

Alexandra: If your dorm is within wafting distance of JJ’s, close the window. Speaking of windows, you can use your sill as a refrigerator—but only between November and March, and never for milk.

Courtney: Take advantage of the amazing birding in Central Park! We have some of the best avian diversity in New York City due to our location along a migration flyway. Take English electives. Do most of your Lit Hum reading. Remember that consent is sexy.

James:

1. When getting involved with a student group, try to talk to current board members/senior members to figure out the culture of the group. I’ve been involved and/or worked with a wide variety of student groups in the last four years, and while institutional memory fades quickly, most groups’ cultures remain the same. Some groups are happy and get work done efficiently, while others spend most of their time on infighting. Obviously, go with the former.
2. Try to have at least two or three different groups of friends, and especially look to avoid having only friends/suitemates within the student activity that absorbs most of your time. You’ll value the change of scene.
3. You’re about to spend four years with a 24-hour library, teachers who do genuinely care about teaching you, a real college quad, a Core Education (and its SEAS and BC equivalents) that costs a ton of money to keep in place, and one of the smartest and most accomplished student bodies in the country. And it’s all in New York City. In short, to quote leader-of-all-redheads Conan O’Brien, “please don’t be cynical.”

Juli: Being quiet in a situation—social or academic—is not nearly as conspicuous as it feels. It’s okay to just sit and listen for awhile before speaking—preferable, even, to speaking loudly and confidently from a place of total ignorance. Also, it’s tempting, but don’t equate shyness with snobbishness!

Menachem

Menachem: A good title on a paper will help you far more than you might realize. Whatever it is you kinda dream about doing in life, do it here, while you can, often. Sweatpants do not help anyone get laid. Professors are, by far, the most under-utilized facility on campus, followed by the librarians; use ‘em. Assiduous note-taking in science/math classes does not help one whit. There’s a lot to be said for classes where the readings are good.

Any regrets?

Alexandra: Not doing any work, ever. And being the Amir to Courtney’s Jake.

Courtney: None that last; my regrets get worked out in the confessional or the dungeon.

James: Lessons? Many. Regrets? None. Well, except for the “Noodle Incident.”

Juli: Too many exclamation marks; too few events worthy of exclamation marks.

Menachem: I never asked out my Art Hum professor SG, though I’m certain we could have had something special, or at least fun.

The Barnard website is getting a makeover, but it seems like it’s going to take a while. On Thursday, Barnard students received an email from Scott DiPerna, Director of Electronic Communications (?!), announcing the plan for an overhaul of Barnard.edu and introducing a Barnard Website blog that will keep whoever’s actually interested up-to-date about the site’s progress.

The blog describes the redesign as an element of Barnard’s “new visual identity,” and notes that the current “lack of consistency” on the site “has not gone unnoticed.” The picture to your right shows some of the “changing faces” of the Barnard site. One Bwogger noted that the Barnard administration seems only too eager to collect feedback on the new site rather than, ya know, the mandatory meal plan. Full email after the jump.

Read more…

Numerous tipsters have highlighted the featured article in today’s Times arts section, about the still-under-construction Northwest Science Building, and its architect, Jose Rafeo Moneo. The article provides a comprehensive overview of the many difficulties that the project has faced, including building on top of the gym, complementing the Manhattanville expansion, and, um, anonymous commenters. 

Yes, to demonstrate that “not everyone is happy with the results,” the Times cites a comment from an old Bwog article. “[I]n 2007, a poster called “arch. major” wrote, ‘McKim, Mead & White will roll over in their graves,’ adding that the building made Uris Hall, the widely derided main building of Columbia’s business school, completed in 1961, ‘look like the Pantheon.’ ” Good thing there isn’t an article on Harmony in the works.

- Photo: schmuela/Flickr

If you live in a suite and/or are a glutton for fame, the Blue&White wants YOU! For the upcoming Harvest issue, we are writing about several living arrangements we’ve dubbed ‘Powersuites’– suites with students who are all involved in one activity, are notable campus folk, or otherwise engaged in an interesting living situation. If you think your suite fits the bill, send an email to bweditors@columbia.edu and tell us why you should join the formidable ranks of the Powersuites.

Image courtesy of Facebook

Thespian tracker Liz Naiden sends Bwog this dispatch from the spring showing of LateNite Theater, playing tonight and tomorrow at 11 p.m.

As the LateNite crowd stumbled in they may or may not have had time to engage in thoughtful conversation with the giant computer screen projected onto the back wall of Lerner’s Black Box theater.

If they got through their programs at a near sober rate, they probably spent at least 10 minutes watching the “man behind the curtain” typing inside jokes for people in the audience, insulting his own taste in music, and displaying his private AIM conversations.

It only got more absurd from there. Read more…

Bwog has now entered the dictionary and was featured by the New York Times–sort of. Thanks to a tip from a handy-dandy commenter, we discovered a NYT blog post on vocabulary introducing ‘unbwogable‘ into the English lexicon. According to the post:

‘Unbwogable (adj): unshakable or indomitable–from the Kenyan word bwogo, meaning scare or shake.’

The word is used in Kenya to describe Barack Obama, which is weird since we have found him very bwogable.

It turns out that use of unbwogable extends beyond our 44th President. There is the unbwogable blog, which has just been bwogged, and a song by the Kenyan hip-hop group Gidi Gidi Maji Maji titled Unbwogable, which has also now been proven incorrect.

We eagerly await the first proper use of unbwogable. In the meantime, several staff members are recovering from an overdose of “meta.”

-DJB

- Barnard College

Rosalind Rosenberg is this year’s winner of the Emily Gregory Award for Excellence in Teaching. The award, named for Barnard’s first female teacher, is bestowed annually by students on a member of the faculty.

Rosenberg’s popular courses include American Women in the 20th Century, and she holds “Silver Nugget” on her CULPA page. Her book Divided Lives: American Women in the 20th Century was published last spring in a new edition.

It’s also perhaps the most meta-award ever: the third result on a Google search of “Emily Gregory Award” is a biography of Emily Gregory – by Rosenberg! It’s a small, small world.

Why didn’t you think of this first? 

Six CC ’09 gentlemen who met on their pre-Orientation COOP trip have started a blog from their EC townhouse. Designed with a bright red hue to echo their townhouse’s decoration (“as if McDonald’s built a ski chalet”). Casting reformed gender norms to the wind, the group has chosen the title of “The Mansuite,” an epithet for the group that existed long before the blog.

Updated often (for now, at least), the Mansuite blog boasts a photo album with rotating shots of recent parties the bro-consortium has hosted. One such photo, which depicts the archetypal scene of a frenzied and cramped college party, is the permanent bottom banner of the site. Previous posts have included documentation of the Mansuiters’ $450 spending sprees treks at the 125th Street Fairway and of scooter rides down the Lerner ramps.

It is unclear where the idea to start the blog came from, but in a short play one member (who would only go by the alias of “Colin Drummond”) wrote for Bwog in an attempt to link Mansuite back to its roots, the member wrote of a fallen scooter, upturned risotto bowl, puddle of spilled wine and a freeze frame of Gossip Girl forming the letters B-L-O-G. If this description is any indication, the Mansuite is certainly worth a read.

- ECS

This past semester, Spec has chronicled the trials and tribulations of ups, downs and ins and outs of graduation speakers, impeachments (Was it overplayed?  Are we including resignations?  When will it end?), and all other news that’s fit to print (and some things that are not news).  Meanwhile, Bwog has diligently chronicled Spec’s daily chronicle, despite sleeping in occasionally.  Therefore, is it not appropriate that, in the spirit of meta, we take a stroll down memory lane and revisit the QuickSpecs of this past semester?

The semester started off with big news about the basketball team.  And an entire package about cupcakes and legistation.

Heart-breaking journalism inspired an unusual fit of old-timey sentimentality from Bwog.  Yes, we got back together. Read more…