At this time of year, newness comes in all forms, from the obvious (your new dorm, your new classes, your new books, your new backpack) to the unanticipated (your replacement macBook charger, your subscription to Netflix to replace Kim’s.)  And while the novelty of these items is, well, novel, the polish of your purchases and the glow of your post-consumption satisfaction wears off as soon as your credit card bill comes at the end of the month.

In addition, New York City is notoriously pricey, your Morningside Heights being no exception. So when it comes to the question of making the most of their money, our heady first-years are pretty hard-pressed. 

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Welcome to the Columbia Olympics. Through this series, Bwog hopes to prepare you for at least some of the events that you will participate in at Columbia. Unlike the real Olympics, no one’s too young, too old, too juiced, or too angry to participate. Since everything must be judged, though, we have included gold medal outcomes at the end of each post.

Thanks to the constantly long lines on move-in day, and the rather packed schedule at the start of Orientation Week, many first-years (Columbia-speak for freshmen) no doubt are still contemplating just how to make that special 110 ft. single or half of the 215 sq ft. double their own. How does one turn that whitewashed cell into a new home? Use the comments to add your own advice.

• Decide immediately whether you want to loft your bed or put it on risers. Even if you don’t want the extra space (or can’t leap in and out of a lofted bed), you don’t want to have to rearrange everything later.
• Use every corner and every tabletop of space for bins, refrigerators, etc.
  
• Know how to loft a bed – nobody wants to start their college experience with their father in the hospital with a gash from a falling bed frame.
• If you didn’t loot your local Virgin megastore for cool posters (or are ambivalent about defining your identity so early in the year), a New York subway map looks good on any prison wall (and is actually pretty useful when first adjusting to the city).
  
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2012’s Facebook half-life began with Simon H.’s creation of “Columbia – Class of 2012.” Early decision applicants were notified online of their acceptance at 5pm, and by 7pm, the group’s ranks had reached 50. Mere days later, the Facebook group is brimming with 276 members—including one confused Brown 2012 pre-frosh who is “not sure if we are rivals or not.” Proud papa Simon H. has even provided a chronological history of the group’s membership:

    Dec 11. 6 members

    Dec 12. 84 members

    Dec 13. 170 members

    Dec 14. 216 members

    Dec 16. 271 members

Hot topics like senioritis (“B’s are the new A’s,” insists Kyle M.) and the swim test—Harrison S. prefers doggie paddle and prefers that you know it—fill
the group’s Wall. Discussions about dorms and drinking are good places to spot the group’s early alpha males and females. Natassia M. states that “Carman sounds like a plan” and is echoed with rallying cries of agreement and disbelief: “Carman sucks, theres throwup and shit everywhere, all the girls and ugly and the ra’s are the biggest assholes everywher,” maintained Dhruv V., who himself is actually CC ’11. Dhruv, a wizened elder and Furnald devotee is a major presence amongst 2012’s blossoming (and depressing) cyber-society.

Marginal topics like “dorms” and “academics” aside, one group of 12s wants to know: “Who says Ivy Leaguers don’t party hard?!?!?” Probably the same people who say Ivy Leaguers can punctuate!!11!eleventyone!1

The “The Columbia University Class of 2012 is Ready to Party” has a predictable agenda. “We should all meet up sometime before august… and party :) “ suggests Carolyn M.  

But no one could accuse the hard-partying 12s of not being efficient: To wit, they have an email address of the most official capacity: readytoparty@2012.com. You know, to fake arrange the fake partying electronically.

UPDATE 12/17: The end… it’s near!

- JNW