We warned you. Bwog music critic Bryan Mochizuki has been peeing his pants all week for this moment: the Oscar Liveblog. Awards will start dropping in about an hour, so meanwhile, Bryan’s got a warmup for you. Keep refreshing for the latest updates.
I don’t know a single person who is excited about Ellen DeGeneres hosting tonight, which means that everyone should be excited. Expectations haven’t been nearly this low since Whoopi’s return in 2001, and I think most people would even take her over Ellen. This is good though. Jon Stewart had to be really funny in a Jon Stewart way but still conform to the Billy Crystal footprint. This turned out to be pretty impossible. Ellen just has to not be bad and it’ll be a success. And she’s hosting after a week/month/year where the jokes wrote themselves.
All the Oscar pool talk I’ve heard this year circles around Pan’s Labyrinth (ie: “Are you gonna ride the ‘Lab all the way?”). Which is strange because the biggest category they’re up for is Original Screenplay. I can’t remember a year where the possible big winner of the night wasn’t up for Picture or Director or any of the acting awards.
The ‘Lab plot-line is joined by two other big ones to watch through the evening: The Departed (hopefully) taking over and Diva-fest, aka Beyonce vs. Jennifer Hudson, aka THE MOST DYNAMIC COMPETITION FOR BEST SONG THAT ANY OF US WILL EVER WATCH. Seriously, besides Best Director, Best Original Diva Jam is the big attraction of the night. Will they let Hudson double up because she’s just that good, or will “Listen” get the apology Oscar since Beyonce got snubbed as the fifth songwriter? OR will they snub “Listen” AND “Love You I Do” because Beyonce doesn’t want anyone to get that statue if she can”t, and Jiggaman has a deep Melissa Etheridge collection? So many possibilities!
7:30 PM: Joan Rivers is on fire on the TV Guide Channel. She just scared/out-funnied Steve Carrell. They keep cutting away from her, usually to shots of Jessica Biel and Penelope Cruz with not funny people talking over them. Very conflicted over this decision…
7:39 PM: Oooh…Diva-fest begins. Jennifer Hudson is on some Captain Eo shit though with that jacket. I’m afraid to speak on fashion stuff, but, yeah, I know this jacket. We’ve met before.
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