Anyone who has ever been late for a class knows that running up the uneven Steps of Low is basically impossible, even for the athletically inclined among us (i.e., not the Bwog staff). Many Columbians and pedestrians alike have puzzled over why the Steps’ spacing is so adverse towards mobility. Bwog’s Megan McGregor reports with answers:

Photo via CU Archives

Some tour guides have been heard telling prospies that the Steps were rebuilt after the ’68 riots to make storming Low a lengthy and difficult process. WikiCU also states that the stairs “[serve] as a physical barrier distinguishing academics at the top (welcomed by Alma Mater) from the commoners below.” Although these scenarios sound awesome, they were not the intentions of McKim, Mead and White. According to A Guide to Columbia University, a 1937 CU Press publication, the firm actually designed the stairs (and Low Plaza) to resemble the stylobate of the Parthenon (the lower level stretching 330 feet wide and constructed on a curve rising four inches in the center). The Steps we see today are the originals completed in 1897.

So next time you find yourself sprinting up Low’s onerous staircase, take a moment to appreciate the steps for what they are–not an anti-activist menace but our very own Grecian urban beach.

Tipster/photographer Jason Patinkin just sent the following photos Bwog’s way. “Well bwog, I hope you enjoyed the last week of sitting on the steps, because once again Columbia taketh our favorite midday hangout.  Indeed the construction of wooden posts and metal bleachers across the steps begins today (or maybe yesterday),” he writes.

It’s that time of year again when graduation preparation coincides with the most beautiful week of the year. Gather ye steptime while ye may/Old Time is still a-flying/And this same flower that smiles to-day/To-morrow will be dying.

More of Patinkin’s photos after the jump.

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There’s a lot of talk about  Columbia students being too fortunate for our own good.   That may or may not be true.  But  there is no question, we got lucky today.  Columbia students could not have asked for a more ideal afternoon for Relay for Life.  The event began at noon and will continue until three am Sunday morning.

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We told you about Pressbox, the originally named new Spec Sports blog, and now The Steps is back too! Welcome, Splog children, to the shiny world of new media (and most every other college newspaper in the country). So far they’re taking on political philosophy, national politics, sports and…nothing related to Columbia at all. But the scope of Splogs is capacious, its potential without limit. We look foward to a wonderful spring together.

That infectious music on Low Plaza? The red, blue and white balloons? The people playing dominoes? 

It’s all about the Dominicans, baby. 

Apparently, Columbia has a Masters program in Real Estate, and the entire class took up some serious real estate on the steps a few minutes ago for a group picture, prompting grumbles from loungers who were asked to relocate. Bwog overheard that at least part of the mob was headed to CBGB after the photo op. Party hardy, future tycoons!

Anna Corke reports on today’s Low Steps face sucking.

Despite rainy weather, about 30-40 people showed up for The Big Kiss. The event was well-documented: two participants brought personal cameras, 3 campus news groups showed up (CTV, Bwog, Spec). One boy told me that he was planning to “make out with his camera.”

First the group gathered around the statue of Pan on the lawn in front of Lewisohn. Conversation ranged from hangovers to class schedules to Shakespeare, with the periodic exclamation: “Does anyone not have a partner!?” Matches were made. Five or six people partook in the complementary honeydew melon slices supplied by the organizers for those without partners. One boy admitted that he “came for the melon.” Others frantically searched their purses for mints.
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Who says that college students have to act like adults? Big bouncy things on Low Plaza all day! Go now!

For those too lazy and apathetic and jaded by the godlessness of Columbia to go to church, the International Christian Fellowship brought the gospel to Morningside’s most degenerate pit of iniquity–the Low Steps.

“In an atmosphere like this academy, we all want to believe that, given the right evidence,” one fellowshipper said, “we’re going to make the right decision. But it’s often, even a majority of the time, just not so. It’s just not how people operate.” All that research? Useless.

Also: “There really are only two sides of it. You either accept him and know him, or you’re lost for eternity.” Even if you’re lost for eternity, you might as well pick up the free Bibles and sell them at high prices to clueless future Lit Hummers.

We’re sorry for ever doubting.

The “surprise guest performance by a well-know artist” after the CU Dance-Off tonight, 4-6 pm 5-7 pm (according to an email) in front of Butler, is Tony Yayo of G-Unit.

Dear seniors, Bwog hopes that you enjoyed your alcohol on the Steps this afternoon. Just remember, even though “40 on 40″ sounds cool, there’s no reason not to enjoy a “40 on 39,” a “40 on 22,” or a “40 on 14.” Please keep your options open.

More photos after the jump.
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A Bwog correspondent overheard some kids, probably future Columbians, as they looked at the Steps:

Kid #1: Oh my God! How many people are there?!
Kid #2: Probably about 50,000.
Kid #3: I’d say it’s got to be 100. Yeah, it looks like 100.
Kid #2: No, it’s definitely 50,000.

Free pizza on Low Plaza at 9 tonight.

Go. Now.

Celebrate the end of the week and treat yourself to an ice cream sandwich. After stopping by the Good Humor cart, walk past the Aish booth on Low Plaza. If you look Jewish enough, you might just be handed an opportunity to get “spiritual discovery” in Israel for the low, low price of $499–only $260 more than a Scientology audit. Commodifying religion: it’s the Zionist way!