Yesterday, Barnard admissions email-blasted all 2,389 strong, beautiful women with a request:  help convince high school seniors that Morningside Heights is the place to be!

Barnard’s luring ladies in with the promise of “a coupon for a free surprise gift” and hoping that they’ll either participate in a phone-a-thon evening or jot down an encouraging postcard to be sent to a prospective 2013.  The admissions phone-a-thon is far from an exclusively Barnard innovation; last year, Wesleyan made much of theirs, and UChicago urged 2012s not to be dismayed by the call from a student (or LOLCAT) they’d never met.

But honestly, who could keep their heart from beating faster when faced with the thought of a lovely Barnard lady on the other end of the line?  Whose pulse wouldn’t quicken at opening the mailbox to find an attractive and welcoming postcard in flowing, feminine penmanship?  Here’s to you, 2013.

   -Image via Barnard Alumnae Affairs

If you’ve been a little sour on dear Alma Mater lately, an anonymous Bwog informant has just stumbled upon something to restore your faith in your degree and your Columbia.

This gal’s a CU grad — just like many of you! (Go Lions!) She majored in Anthropology. And also like many of you, she loves to just gab away on the telephone, except her telephone conversations are infinitely more lucrative and sexy (?) than yours:

“Men call me for an infinity of reasons. Of course, they call to masturbate. I call it ‘Executive Stress Relief.’ It’s not sex; it’s a cocktail of testosterone, fueled by addiction to pornography, loneliness, and the need to hear a woman’s voice.”

See? Plus, there’s hope for those of you questioning the worth of your English/Anthro/Philosophy/Comp. Lit. degree:

“I make twice the money I made in the corporate world. I work from home, the money transfers into my bank account daily. I’m Scheherezade: If I don’t tell stories that fascinate the Pasha, he will kill me in the morning.”

Ha! Hear that econ. majors? Twice the money and 100% more phone sex.

Columbia dorm phone numbers all start in 853, and Columbia building numbers all start in 854. Until yesterday, when a new Journalism School administrator entered the strange world of 851! From an e-mail sent to J-School students:

“___ comes to the J-school after spending the last seven years…

Her phone: 212-851—– (they’ve run out of the 854 prefix!)”

We know the J-School likes to keep its distance from other Columbia schools. Could this be the start of even further withdrawal? If you add up the numbers 8+5+1, you get 14, which symbolizes Jesus, his twelve disciples, and Mary Magdalene from that painting in the Da Vinci Code. Is the Grail right inside our very gates?! Only time will tell.