They forgot to take Columbia yoga classes

Think twice before flashing your new international ID and loading up on Smirnoffs. The Czechs provide Carman Hall with a new role model by shutting down all sales of liquor above 20% ABV after 19 victims died from methanol poisoning. (Reuters)

Who knew love could be so enduring? A South Carolinian woman is looking to press charges after finding her ex-boyfriend from 12 years ago living in her attic. She ended the relationship after he was convicted of robbing a flower shop and drug use. (UPI)

Chinese protesters decided that the Japanese are not fairly sharing natural resources on the disputed South China Sea Islands. In response, they ravaged Japanese department stores and Japanese cars in China. (Associated Press)

Only weeks after Prince Harry upped the ante with nude photos of himself in Vegas, Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, retorts with nude pictures of her own, claiming invasion of privacy. (The Washington Post, CNN)

Speaking of nudity, Bam Magera from the movie Jackass, shows guys what not to do when a butt-naked girl breaks into your house and clambers into your bed. He called the cops on his number one fan. Wrong move, Bam, wrong move. (Gawker)

Ecstatic yoga via Wikimedia Commons

Last year, Mark Hay cooked a turducken in a McBain kitchen and fed it to to the basketball team. Never to be outdone, Matthew Schantz made a Tofucken—a vegetarian turducken—in Nussbaum this week. He lived to tell the tale—and it wasn’t half bad, either.
Thanksgiving is a sad time for us vegetarians. No matter how much mashed potatoes or asparagus we heap onto our plates, we cannot forget the turkey’s absence. But this Saturday, instead of staring into the turkeyless void and having it stare back at me, I chose to fill the void—with Tofucken.

Tofucken is the vegetarian equivalent to the Turducken. Instead of ramming a duck into a chicken into a turkey, I placed down a bed of mock-meat, tethered several mysterious mock-meats together, and stuffed them with more mock-meat.

I had no idea where to start. My culinary experience is limited to cooking omelettes and sauteing things to put into omelettes. The only mock-meats I have ever cooked are veggie burgers in the microwave. Luckily, there are recipes for Tofucken. I followed this one, which called for one Tofucken, three stuffings, and a gravy. Due to time and skill constraints, I decided to cook only Tofucken and the mock-sausage stuffing. My goal was to pile as much fake meat as I could into one metal pan.

My Tofucken adventure began with a trip to May Wah Healthy Vegetarian, a small store in Chinatown specializing in imitation-meats. They carry everything from the standards (chicken, turkey, duck) to veggie versions of the very exotic (BBQ gizzard). I am almost certain May Wah sold nothing but fake meats. As the recipe instructed, I purchased 6 packages of mock-meats: 2 chicken, 2 duck, turkey, and sausage. I also picked up several less exciting foods from the grocery store for the stuffing.

A wall of “meat” at May Wah

Gang’s all here!

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