The War on Fun is bringin’ you down. You have two options: drink 40′s somewhere else, or promise yourself that, without a doubt, you will never give a penny to this god awful place as long as you live. Senior Fund and its awkward propaganda be damned!

Well, unless you’re too cool for mimicking Obama’s every move, you might want to reconsider that plan. It turns out that despite a few attempts to distance himself from Columbia during the campaign, the President donated $1,000 to the university this year.

If you are an Obama follower to the core and can’t see yourself scraping up $1,000 a year to give to PrezBo, never fear. When you compare the $1,000 donation to some of the other numbers in the Obamas’ tax returns, like their $2.66 million dollars in adjusted gross income, you realize Obama only donated about $40 dollars in real people money. In fact, Bwog’s special Lingering Resentment Calculator tells us that if Obama were making $100,000, by proportion his donation would have been $37.59. Ok, maybe that’s still a little more than Bwog has budgeted for PrezBo too.

Hey, ’09! Don’t forget that today (as in ”right now”), your new and improved 40s on 40 will be on the steps. It’s called “Senior Playpen,” a subtle way of reminding you that Columbia still thinks you’re eight years old.

So go celebrate your last few weeks of being a quasi-child by getting crazy in what is literally a university-built pen (and it doesn’t even have a ball pit!). Remember to bring your Columbia ID, and don’t try to sneak in any oversize bags, because they hate that.

And check back with Bwog soon for some real 40s on 40 news.

Sure, seniors may be looking at the worst job market in decades, but at least they have some of Columbia’s fun senior traditions to look forward to!

Or, you know, not. The administration’s “War on Fun” campaign looks to be well on its way to destroying a proud senior pastime, as sources tell Bwog that Dean of Student Affairs Kevin Shollenberger and SDA Director Robert Taylor have ordered the student councils to come up with a replacement for the once-loved tradition of 40s on 40.

Up until two years ago, seniors would drink 40s on Low Steps to celebrate 40 days before graduation. The public drinking made for some actual class unity, and hilarious scenes of tour guides assuring parents “no, we only get this way once a year.” But, like any evil dictatorship, Columbia soon tired of the civil disobedience, and forced the class councils to put on a poorly-run picnic instead. Both years of cheap imitation saw nothing but frustrated students in long lines for little beer.

What’s the new excuse? Apparently, Shollenberger and Taylor told the councils that the university is “no longer comfortable” hosting an event whose primary draw is alcohol. Aside from the lack of any incidents to support this new crackdown, of course, the university’s quick to drop such quibbles when donors are involved: for example, the official Columbia University Club of New York, which has an open bar, or almost every single cocktail party that the university throws for potential donors. But if the War on Fun’s been any guide, justification is not the University’s strong suit.