In perhaps the most confusing 30 minutes of campus tradition in history, both the pillow fight and Primal Scream overlapped. Though purists waited until 11:59 pm to start, zealous first years joined the fray as early as 11:30 pm. Even a few of the dedicated bodies in the reference room rose from their seats to peek down at the action—one kid went outside between the windows. Wails reminiscent of the 2010 World Cup sounded ominously across campus as kids blew on their vuvuzelas.
The Reference Room failed to get the joke.
So did 209. A sole screamer took a brave stand against the “studying” masses. Carefully choosing his moment, he waited until definitive sounds were heard from neighboring rooms, just to be sure. After he let out the gruesome howl, the girl across from said screamer promptly gathered her belongings and left. He screamed again. Another gal across the room let out a weak “ah.” He screamed once again, even louder. Nothing. People gossiped quietly. Some bro nearby interjected a terse but forceful, “fuck!” Others in the room exclaimed, “that’s not a scream,” but did not scream themselves. He screamed again, even louder and more passionately. Bwog’s vocal correspondent reports that this is the second time this has happened to him. We cannot rely on these lone rangers to maintain our cherished traditions. Loosen up fools!
Update (12:45): A ghost just walked through 209, telling people he died during finals. Wtf.
The 117th Annual Varsity Show will run from April 29 to May 1. If it’s anything like the preview, it sounds like it might be worth your while. Get your tickets online or at the TIC before April 14th for the early bird discount! If you’re feeling generous, splurge on a VIP ticket. We’re not quite sure what’s so VIP about it, but if you’ve got the funds, why not? ‘Tis for a good cause—Columbia community-building tradition!
Unless you were born, like, literally yesterday you know what what’s going on. But first classes continue today and we have a feeling our wonderful faculty will continue to make wonderful remarks. So if you want to share something you hear, hit up firstname.lastname@example.org or the comments and we’ll put it on teh internetz. Cool?