Topless Old Man Bwog

In this rapidly changing world, we sometimes feels a little behind the times. Old Man Bwog aims to address the eternal gripe: “What’s up With That?”

Dear Parents of the Scooting Youth,

How would you feel if I walked into your backyards, set up three foot-tall hurdles all over the place, and watched your frustrated efforts to avoid my traps? How about if I put wheels on those hurdles and built them out of the flesh of toddlers? Well that’s what I feel like every time I narrowly avoid one of your children hurtling across campus on some newfangled scooter. As the collective elderly consciousness of Columbia students, I walk across campus constantly, quickly, and without any peripheral vision. For all you math-types, let me put it this way: Your little bundle of joy + my trajectory = big mess. Kids don’t have any respect these days, and if you want to teach your kids any rules, you better start by teaching them to respect the laws of physics. That means no cheating friction!

Yours Grumbly,

Bwog

Curmudgeon via wikimedia.

“…no existence can be validly fulfilled if it is limited to itself.”

-Simone de Beauvoir, 1948

Photo by DH

This appears to be a trend!

Photo courtesy of Electronic Arts, via NYT

Columbia professors get elected to things (Senate.gov)

Columbia’s core is the magic of video games (NYT)

Columbia’s architecture is blogworthy for Bloomberg (Bloomberg)

Columbia knows about the best diets (CNN)

Now that Obama’s popularity is declining, it turns out he never attended Columbia? (TransWorldNews)

In the midst of finals, inclement weather and many sugary holiday indulgences, a general regard for one’s physical appearance tends to decline. Although this time of year challenges the integrity of even the most savvy of style savants, here at Columbia, fashion perseveres. 

That said, Columbians are always a sensible set.  Given the current combination of bad weather, finals and the like, pragmatism reigns supreme on campus.  That’s right, fashion during finals upholds the golden rule: form fits function. 

So forget those suede stilettos. A recent stroll through Butler proves that right now comfort and durability comes in all shapes and form of footwear.  From snow boots to slippers, Bwog has seen it all.  If you want to get in on this trend, Bwog recommends the thick wool socks and boots look.  Or to maximize your Butler study comfort, tuck your favorite pair of warm booties or bedroom slippers in your backpack and break ‘em out when you get to 209.  Don’t worry about decorum — everybody else is doing it too!

Read more…

The life cycle of plaid has grown to be just about as diverse as a material can get in the sartorial sphere.  From its earliest appearance as the uniform of brawny lumberjacks to its mid-life incarnation as the inside of Burberry trench coats to its most recent development as the uniform of underfed hipster hims and hers alike, plaid survives with the fashion conscious and the fashion unconscious.  But Bwog has noticed that Columbia undergrads are embracing plaid in never seen before styles and forms.  From backpacks to mini-skirts – plaid is no longer just for  Anglophile-inclined b-schoolers and grungy Bill-burghers.  For how to best wear your plaid take a look at the casual styles of your fellow Columbians! 

Read more…

Bwog dredged the cynicism and negativity from its collective soul a few weeks ago, and pissed a few of you off in the process. Well, that was winter. With spring comes renewal, and lists of things that are shiny and new and exciting! Meanwhile, Bwog is pooped, so you may not be hearing from us as frequently. Have fun on your exotic getaways (or mundane weeks on the living room couch). The fun starts again soon.

Gayatri Spivak

FreshDirect

BorrowDirect

kumquats

UK spelling

petty theft

flyers condemning petty theft

hopscotch

Dixieland jazz

pancakes

Robert Maschio

body stubble

shaved heads

multivitamins

three ring binders

hole punchers

nepotism

bagel lady who has replaced bagel man at Ferris

raccoon hats (these are not coonskin caps)

going to bed at 11:00 PM, waking up at 7:00 PM

breakfast

apparently, masturbating in front of the butler circulation desk at 3:30 AM during midterm week

Ovid

E-40

Riverside Drive

ping pong

cheerleading

Leif Erickson

old timey fisticuffs

whiskey Read more…

Whether you’ve noticed or not (and whether you like them or not), there have been several pigeon nests on campus recently, baby pigeons included. Julia Kite gives the scoop on this campus bird trend — and includes cute pictures!

It’s understandable if you’ve never seen a baby pigeon. Formally known as “rock doves,” parents build their nests on small ledges, just as their wild ancestors constructed them in crevices on the cliffs of Europe. In the urban environment, this usually means a window ledge, underneath an air conditioner, or anywhere else they can find a stable platform and shelter from the elements.

When it comes to nest-building, pigeons don’t pay much attention to aesthetics. They typically throw a few dead pine needles and small twigs into a pile and let that suffice. Their own droppings, and later those of the chicks, bind this material together — not a pretty sight, and certainly not something you’d want to touch, so if you see a nest, leave it alone. An interesting fact is that pigeons almost always lay two eggs per clutch — never more. The male and female, who are closely bonded, will take turns sitting on the nest for about eighteen days.

Read more…

A few days ago Google introduced a new feature called “Trends” that allows users to view statistics about the search queries that Google fields by the millions every day. And finally, we have proof that Columbia actually is more important than its ivied brethren.

A comparison by volume of the search term “columbia university” versus “harvard university” et al., and “columbia” versus “harvard,” etc., reveals that Columbia is well ahead on both counts (and it’s assigned us a fitting color).

Columbia 1, all other Ivies 0.

Update: Also, check out “columbia college” versus “harvard college.”

The score: 2-0.