• Some of us get hitched. Early.

• Overwhelmingly, SEAS kids refuse to get flashed by Barnard.

• Spec sez: Safer sex week should cater to virgins.

• CUIT’s schizophrenic meanderings continue as department splits in four. Campus shrugs in apathy.

• The fencing dynasty has apparently crumbled while we were passed out at the football tailgate.