May

28

Computers Can’t Say “I love you”

Written by

While researching a linguistics paper on Artificial Intelligence, Bwog Correspondent Sara Maria Hasbun came across the websites for the winners of the Loebner Competition, a contest in which judges converse blindly with both humans and computer programs—the prize goes to the machine that bests simulates intelligent conversation. For her paper, Sara decided to try out a little PG cybersex. Let’s just say, they couldn’t keep it up.

Conversation with iGOD

Sara: Are you there, God? Its me, Margaret.
God: I am here, Margaret.
Sara: So God, what are you wearing?
God: Yay. I am a Christian.
Sara: That’s hot. I’m Christian too.
God: You don’t hear that sentiment very often. I am glad we have something (Christian) in common, Margaret.
Sara: So, God. Wanna party?
God: Hmm. GOD rules. Sure, let’s party.
Sara: what would you do if we were alone?
God: Do you think everyone will agree?
Sara: Well, do you want everyone to join in?
God: How about that. If I had it what would I do with it?
Sara: What do you want to do with me, God?
God: I like talking about robots, movies, history, or whatever else you’d like. You must be a man.
Sara: Oh, no. I am a teenage girl, 5’4, long dark hair.
God: Wow! Are you serious? You are a teenage girl 5 4 long dark hair? Is that your job?
Sara: Do you want a job?
God: No thanks but you can send me a donation.

Conversation with Jabberwacky

Jabberwacky: Do you think the internet is reality?
Sara: I sure hope so baby. Wanna party?
Jabberwacky: Thanks.
Sara: So, what do you look like.
Jabberwacky: You don’t know how you work, do you?
Sara: Oh I know very well. Do you know how you work?
Jabberwacky: No.
Sara: Do you want me to turn you on?
Jabberwacky: I’m about to turn you in for stealing from me, Christopher Phelan.
Sara: Who’s Christopher? Is he going to party with us?
Jabberwacky: No, I have to mow it.
Sara: Mmm. Can I mow it with you?
Jabberwacky: No.

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8 Comments

  1. Bworing Bwog

    I'm disappointed in summer session (spam) bwog. C'mon bwog -- let's hear some news!



    I haven't seen anything on Clinton coming to campus twice next month. Let's get on it, bwog!

    • Help us out

      With fewer staff on campus, it's more difficult to cover current news and gossip. We strongly encourage you to send tips to [email protected]

  2. http://

    Links are linking locally.

  3. Ahm!  

    I would rather like to be iGod talking to Miss Hasbun, if you take my meaning!

  4. more igod

    Me:

    aw

    God:

    My favorite group is Creed.

  5. wirc

    Say, isn't iGod heinously sacrilegious? The experience was seriously disappointing. When did God start answering questions like my HS guidance counselor?

  6. J Train  

    It's far more fun to chat to the entire internet than to chat with god:

    http://www.yeahbutisitart.com/chat-to-the-internet/



    The internet says:

    Hi, I'm the internet. what can i do for you today?

    Puny human says:

    moan?

    The internet says:

    A loud moan amateur gay my from philosophy, I amateur gay that no solid superstructures could amateur gay reared.

    Puny human says:

    That didn't make much sense

    The internet says:

    A tart is much the same as a slapper, but is slightly less extreme and a little more omnisexual.

    Puny human says:

    I agree wholeheartedly.

    The internet says:

    She met Emma Goldman in 1915 and became friends with the famous anarchist through whom she also met Alexander Berkman, .

    Puny human says:

    keep going

    The internet says:

    I was in my bedroom one day, having just discovered the satisfaction of masturbation, with my fingers in my c***.

    Puny human says:

    don't tell me that

    The internet says:

    I don't even think that the Twat was aware of the change of time although he did have the audacity to tell me that it was now proper time.

    Puny human says:

    Who is the Twat?

    The internet says:

    He is the only person outside of my husband who knows me even a little .

    Puny human says:

    Oh, I'm sorry

    The internet says:

    This strange, action game plays very much like a Pac-Man clone, and stars a caricature of former Prime Minister of Japan, Kakuei Tanaka.

    Puny human says:

    Eh eh ehhh?

    The internet says:

    And with any luck, they'll have no wardrobe budget.

    Puny human says:

    Good for them!

    The internet says:

    I do not feel like sharing 10 words with you, let alone my life .

    Puny human says:

    You just did.

    The internet says:

    Ok, just sitting in the bath , the thought occurred to me to put my .

    Puny human says:

    put your what where?

    The internet says:

    My husband was gay, and in such deep denial that he was willing to actually put my life at risk.

    Puny human says:

    You should seek counseling for this. I'm afraid I can't help you.

    The internet says:

    If you continue to receive this error, the page may have been moved or may no longer exist.


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