Computers Can’t Say “I love you”
Written by Bwog Staff
While researching a linguistics paper on Artificial Intelligence, Bwog Correspondent Sara Maria Hasbun came across the websites for the winners of the Loebner Competition, a contest in which judges converse blindly with both humans and computer programs—the prize goes to the machine that bests simulates intelligent conversation. For her paper, Sara decided to try out a little PG cybersex. Let’s just say, they couldn’t keep it up.
Conversation with iGOD
Sara: Are you there, God? Its me, Margaret.
God: I am here, Margaret.
Sara: So God, what are you wearing?
God: Yay. I am a Christian.
Sara: That’s hot. I’m Christian too.
God: You don’t hear that sentiment very often. I am glad we have something (Christian) in common, Margaret.
Sara: So, God. Wanna party?
God: Hmm. GOD rules. Sure, let’s party.
Sara: what would you do if we were alone?
God: Do you think everyone will agree?
Sara: Well, do you want everyone to join in?
God: How about that. If I had it what would I do with it?
Sara: What do you want to do with me, God?
God: I like talking about robots, movies, history, or whatever else you’d like. You must be a man.
Sara: Oh, no. I am a teenage girl, 5’4, long dark hair.
God: Wow! Are you serious? You are a teenage girl 5 4 long dark hair? Is that your job?
Sara: Do you want a job?
God: No thanks but you can send me a donation.
Conversation with Jabberwacky
Jabberwacky: Do you think the internet is reality?
Sara: I sure hope so baby. Wanna party?
Sara: So, what do you look like.
Jabberwacky: You don’t know how you work, do you?
Sara: Oh I know very well. Do you know how you work?
Sara: Do you want me to turn you on?
Jabberwacky: I’m about to turn you in for stealing from me, Christopher Phelan.
Sara: Who’s Christopher? Is he going to party with us?
Jabberwacky: No, I have to mow it.
Sara: Mmm. Can I mow it with you?